(Closed) Don't want kids at my wedding. fiance (hus) does

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think your language about it is bratty. If you want an adults-only wedding, fine, but don’t go around insulting the kids for being kids. HOWEVER, if everyone will be against you, just let kids come, hire a sitter for the wedding, and send the kids to a separate room with the sitter. We hired a teacher from a montessori school to babysit the 15 kids at our wedding – parents could fetch them if they wanted to bring the kids down to the reception, but otherwise the kids could sit in a separate area with toys and coloring books and be out of the way.

Post # 4
429 posts
Helper bee

@NigerianHair:  Yeah I was on the same boat as you (Not wanting certain kids at the ceremony or reception, but others that were ok, FH did not approve). Luckily, I got away with it, but let me tell you it was NOT an easy road…….

The best of luck!!

Post # 5
2055 posts
Buzzing bee

@NigerianHair:  I am having a child-free black tie wedding, and I am Nigerian, as well (so I understand exactly where you’re coming from). Even at the most upscale Nigerian wedding I have attended, parents tend not to monitor their children and then you have a ton of annoying kids running around, making noise, and disrupting things. 

I will be having a separate children’s room for parents that cannot arrange babysitting, and it will have dinner, candy & treats, entertainment, etc. That way, the kids are having fun under separate supervision, but they aren’t keeping the adults from having fun either. 


Post # 6
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I agree with you! My man and I both agree to have only immediate kids or family with kids to come and that’s it. We put this on our website and will write a note with the invites to follow.

“Due to our budget we’re asking for no kids that aren’t immediate family to attend. Some music content may not be appropriate for little ears. Plus, we don’t want babies crying and screaming during the ceremony. Also we don’t want little kids running around the aisles, knocking stuff off the tables. Just because we don’t want kids at our wedding doesn’t mean we’re baby-haters. It only means we want more of an adult setting. If you’re the aunt/uncle [i.e. Aunt insert name or Uncle insert name], actual brother or sister [i.e. name, name & name], niece/nephew [i.e. name or name] to the bride or groom and would like to bring your kiddos, or are the kids and want to go then that’s cool with us. We’re informing you a head of time so you can find a sitter for your little ones and enjoy our day with us. If you want to bring your kids and aren’t immediate family, please get a hold of the us ASAP, so we can talk about it and decide from there. Do not make the assumption you can bring your kids if you haven’t spoken to us. We really are on a tight budget and would like for you to take that into consideration. Thank you for understanding!!

If a guest for example wants to bring kids and we all have agreed it’s ok then the guest must pay for own kids meal. Anyway, good luck to you!!

Post # 7
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012


@MlleFabuleux:   Nigerian wife here! I have never been to a Naija wedding where Obi and Chi-Chi weren’t running around the place! It would be very interesting to see, but it can be done. For like People’s Club, Progressive Unions, groups like that, they have black tie, child free galas all the time, and people come in droves. The only thing I’d be concerned about is people taking offense, weddings for us are usually big family friendly events.  But its your day, do you! Id definitely like to hear results! Also MlleFabuleux I think the child room is a great idea, its the best of both worlds, the kuds can come and be taken care of and enjoy the evening too while the parents are at your reception. 

Post # 9
19 posts
  • Wedding: May 2014

@NigerianHair:  How did everything turn out for you? I am also a naija girl and will be having 400 ppl at our wedding. Our guest list has been the hardest thing especially with marrying an American we are trying to please both sides. We love kids but there just is no room for everyone and their kids. My dad dosentence really get it since they had a large bridal party that consisted of like 10 Kids alone. My mom has been showing him the difference between the weddings wiyh kids & the ones without, in fact my cousing stated very clearly & tastefully adults and invitation only but yet the kids took over her reception. I am enforcing it at my wedding and I do have a total of 7 kids that will be there, 3 in bridal party and 4 that are cousins coming from Nigeria. It would be wrong to tell them they should stay home if they have the opportunity to come to America. We are going to also utilize a large coat room that my venue has for this. 

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