Post # 1
- Wedding: July 2015 - The Biltmore Ballrooms
I could use a little advise. I am getting married (next year..so plenty of time) and I from the very bottom of my heart– do not want kids at my wedding or reception. Apart from it being an obvious money savings, I have just been to too many weddings and receptions where children are running around aimlessly (Im nigerians and though they are strict.. for some reason at weddings and at church they let their kids run wild and effing free). I told this to my fiance and he doesnt think it’s right not not let people come. I have a younger cousin (6) who will be coming from nigeria and he kinda used her as an example.. :if she can come everyone else should be able to come: she will be the flower girl btw.. I also have a neice who will be about 1 who would be “okay’d”. I planned to have them around for the ceremony and pictures and then getting a sitter to hang with them for the rest of the day. Im not saying 18+ (though that would make sense. i dont know many kids and neither does he.. why the eff should be be feeding these mini germ producers that we never met?)
My husband (we went to court already) feels it will keep some people from coming . I say, if people have 6 months notice and cannot find plans for their kids then they shouldnt come. I am even willing to create a list of childcare for people coming from out of town who want to bring their kids to town with them.I have seen very successful weddings due to NO KIDS rule.
Please be ABSOLUTELY honest with me.. Iwill not be offended. Am I being a brat? Should I put my foot down? I already know that my husband, his parents and my parents will be against me on thisone.. help!!?
Post # 3
I think your language about it is bratty. If you want an adults-only wedding, fine, but don’t go around insulting the kids for being kids. HOWEVER, if everyone will be against you, just let kids come, hire a sitter for the wedding, and send the kids to a separate room with the sitter. We hired a teacher from a montessori school to babysit the 15 kids at our wedding – parents could fetch them if they wanted to bring the kids down to the reception, but otherwise the kids could sit in a separate area with toys and coloring books and be out of the way.
Post # 4
@NigerianHair: Yeah I was on the same boat as you (Not wanting certain kids at the ceremony or reception, but others that were ok, FH did not approve). Luckily, I got away with it, but let me tell you it was NOT an easy road…….
The best of luck!!
Post # 5
@NigerianHair: I am having a child-free black tie wedding, and I am Nigerian, as well (so I understand exactly where you’re coming from). Even at the most upscale Nigerian wedding I have attended, parents tend not to monitor their children and then you have a ton of annoying kids running around, making noise, and disrupting things.
I will be having a separate children’s room for parents that cannot arrange babysitting, and it will have dinner, candy & treats, entertainment, etc. That way, the kids are having fun under separate supervision, but they aren’t keeping the adults from having fun either.
Post # 6
I agree with you! My man and I both agree to have only immediate kids or family with kids to come and that’s it. We put this on our website and will write a note with the invites to follow.
“Due to our budget we’re asking for no kids that aren’t immediate family to attend. Some music content may not be appropriate for little ears. Plus, we don’t want babies crying and screaming during the ceremony. Also we don’t want little kids running around the aisles, knocking stuff off the tables. Just because we don’t want kids at our wedding doesn’t mean we’re baby-haters. It only means we want more of an adult setting. If you’re the aunt/uncle [i.e. Aunt insert name or Uncle insert name], actual brother or sister [i.e. name, name & name], niece/nephew [i.e. name or name] to the bride or groom and would like to bring your kiddos, or are the kids and want to go then that’s cool with us. We’re informing you a head of time so you can find a sitter for your little ones and enjoy our day with us. If you want to bring your kids and aren’t immediate family, please get a hold of the us ASAP, so we can talk about it and decide from there. Do not make the assumption you can bring your kids if you haven’t spoken to us. We really are on a tight budget and would like for you to take that into consideration. Thank you for understanding!!
If a guest for example wants to bring kids and we all have agreed it’s ok then the guest must pay for own kids meal. Anyway, good luck to you!!
Post # 7
@MlleFabuleux: Nigerian wife here! I have never been to a Naija wedding where Obi and Chi-Chi weren’t running around the place! It would be very interesting to see, but it can be done. For like People’s Club, Progressive Unions, groups like that, they have black tie, child free galas all the time, and people come in droves. The only thing I’d be concerned about is people taking offense, weddings for us are usually big family friendly events. But its your day, do you! Id definitely like to hear results! Also MlleFabuleux I think the child room is a great idea, its the best of both worlds, the kuds can come and be taken care of and enjoy the evening too while the parents are at your reception.
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2015 - The Biltmore Ballrooms
@NaijaPuertoDorian: GIRL…………………… just pray for me!! that is all I ask!
Post # 9
@NigerianHair: How did everything turn out for you? I am also a naija girl and will be having 400 ppl at our wedding. Our guest list has been the hardest thing especially with marrying an American we are trying to please both sides. We love kids but there just is no room for everyone and their kids. My dad dosentence really get it since they had a large bridal party that consisted of like 10 Kids alone. My mom has been showing him the difference between the weddings wiyh kids & the ones without, in fact my cousing stated very clearly & tastefully adults and invitation only but yet the kids took over her reception. I am enforcing it at my wedding and I do have a total of 7 kids that will be there, 3 in bridal party and 4 that are cousins coming from Nigeria. It would be wrong to tell them they should stay home if they have the opportunity to come to America. We are going to also utilize a large coat room that my venue has for this.