Post # 1
Hi bees! Do you think it is tacky for just the best man to give a speech? Isn’t that what they did back in the day? I love my Maid/Matron of Honor but not sure I can trust her speech abilities lol is it horrible to say I don’t want her giving a speech? I sort of planted the seed to her already but didn’t make it official. She was surprised. My fiancé wants his Bridesmaid or Best Man to give a toast so I can’t do away with them all together. Any advice would be great.
Post # 3
Can’t you just ask her to see it first? Or ask her to show it to your mom, or another friend or something?
Post # 4
I’m sorry but I don’t think it’s fair to not let her make a speech. She’s your Maid/Matron of Honor, she’s not going to say anything bad.
My Maid/Matron of Honor is a girl who is very outspoken (she has a raunchy mouth to be blunt) and a few people were like “Maybe I should ask her to read me her speech just in case”. In the end, her speech was so sweet and heartfelt.
Post # 5
Either they’re both allowed to give speeches/toasts, or no one is.
I’m curious about why you don’t want her giving a speech, you really didn’t give a particular reason. Does she have the tendency to curse, and this will be a family gathering? Is she just not very well-spoken?
If she chose not to give a speech, that’s one thing – I wouldn’t bat an eyelash at just the Best Man speaking but not the Maid of Honor… but that doesn’t sound like the situation here.
Post # 6
I think you’re stuck – either both Bridesmaid or Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor make speeches or neither of them should.
Post # 7
I think you will be ok when moh do her speech. it wont be ok for bm to do his and not your moh, at the end of the day no matter what she may say….. you an ur hubby will be happily married. WISH YOU THE BEST!
Post # 8
@dncewtme: Are you worried about what she will say or how she will deliver it? If it is a content concern, then ask to see it ahead of time. If you are concerned about here delivery, then that is not fair. It’s your wedding, not a beauty pagent or debate competition. You should be happy she would say caring things about you, not about how well it is delivered.
Post # 9
Definitely not worried about the delivery. just the content. She is SUPER outspoken and has no filter. Which sometimes makes me even love her more for. But there is definitely a time and place for that. There is nothing worse than going to a wedding and hearing the Maid/Matron of Honor talk about there drunken night in cabo (really did hear a speech like that-poor bride) so Im just worried that sometimes when people think they are funny they are just inappropriate. But she’s super loving and maybe she will understand me wanting to see it or having someone look at it pre toast.
Post # 10
@dncewtme: My Maid/Matron of Honor is like that too. She openly talks about sex in front of everyone, among other things. People who don’t know her are shocked by how she speaks.
A few people were like “You should make her read you her speech”. I joked about it with her, but I told her “I trust you, just don’t talk about anything sexual”. There was nothing at all inappropriate in her speech. She knew that it was a special day and she was grown up enough not to behave inappropriately.
Post # 11
I have actually only been to one wedding where the Maid/Matron of Honor gave a speech. I guess its more common in my area/circle that only the best man gives a speech.
Post # 12
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
@dncewtme: In the UK, it’s not at all expected for the Maid/Matron of Honor to give a speech. Traditionally just the FoB, Groom and Best Man give a speech, and occasionally the Bride does. So I don’t think it’s tacky at all for her not to if you don’t want one!
Post # 13
I trust my Maid/Matron of Honor and am really excited for her speech–she’s been working on it for months now. It’s the Best Man’s speech I am NOT excited for–I’m hoping he’ll do exactly what Fiance did for his wedding and say, “I don’t want to give a speech, so let’s toast.”
Post # 14
My poor Maid/Matron of Honor had most of her speech material stolen by the Bridesmaid or Best Man, lol so when it did come time for her to talk she has nothing, so she just said how happy she was and how much she loved us.
I didn’t want speeches, but they did them and I didn’t care. These are things that we, as brides, she be able to just let happen. That would be really sad if you told your Maid/Matron of Honor not to give a speech and then the Bridesmaid or Best Man was able to give one.
Post # 15
I’d definitely ask to hear it if you are worried… People will often surprise you with what you thought they’d say as opposed to what they actually say.
Post # 16
I think you should let her do it. Maybe just tell her your worries. Just tell her to keep the content PG.