(Closed) Don't want my Daughter in daycare anyone else feel this way???

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

Neither of my children have ever been in daycare (oldest is 8) & I don’t plan to every put them in one. Primarily b/c I don’t see the point in me going to work just so half if not more of my income can go to childcare… it just doesn’t make sense. I do work from home part time though… very part time for my moms business. My Darling Husband is 100% supportive of me being home though and has never made me feel bad about not working out of the house.

Is there something you enjoy doing that maybe you could do from home? I once considered having a registered day home but I don’t really like kids so that wouldn’t be a good idea. I DO like making paper flowers though so that is on my list to make an etsy shop…. IF I can ever carve out the time. lol

Sorry you’re in this spot though, hope you can get something worked out soon!

Post # 4
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I am a Stay-At-Home Wife (no kids) and my husband and I decided that I would stay at home when we do have kids, but at the same time we don’t plan on having children until he leaves the military and finds a job that doesn’t require so much moving.

Post # 5
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

haha, I think this is so completley normal! 

I have worked in childcare and I know she will not be neglected but I still think I would have a hard time doing it.

Your child will have all of her needs attended to and she will be fine in daycare but I do also know that nothing compares to being at home with mum for them and it can be difficult to make a decision like this when it means that she may not get all of the attention you are able to provide.

I guess you and your SO need to sit down and have a serious chat about where your finances are at and if you have wiggle room to give her a few more years at home with you before you return to work. If he does agree that he would prefer her at home then you probably need to make a timeline of when you need to return to work and at what age you are both comfortable withher being in care. Once this is decided, don’t let him make you feel guilty or hold anything over you for staying home to take care of your daughter. This is his child too and you are doing a very important job, he needs to recognise this. 

Honestly my Fiance and I have discussed this issue and both believe that a mother should be able to make the choice if she wants to work or stay at home with the child (depending on finance of course) and he would never hold it over me if I chose to do what you are doing…which I believe I will. You need to tell him how this makes you feel and be strong in your own knowledge that you work just as hard as him.

Post # 6
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You could consider working for a daycare so that you don’t have to worry about how she’s treated there & you get free care.

Post # 7
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I felt this was when dd was born, I had a close friend who had in home daycare with just a few kids and I felt really comfortable having her there until she was 3 and we put her in preschool. It is very expensive but the curriculum can’t be beat. It’s worth every penny. 

Post # 8
83 posts
Worker bee

Instead of a ‘center’ type daycare what about a home based daycare? They are typically way smaller so your daughter would have more attention. I’m pro-child care. Before I worked in public school I worked in child care all through college. Where I worked, we had cameras and parents were able to log in whenever they wanted to so they could check on their child. We had a chef and never served anything with sugar in it. Our curriculum was award winning and had a balance of play based and academic based activities.

From working in child care, I understand your hesitation to be away from your child. But, if you do your research you will find a center that fits your need. Also, I’m not sure where you’re from, but in Ohio, there is a program to help families with the cost of child care. If you’re in school or working, a portion of your child care fees could be covered.

Good luck! I hope you find the right solution for your family 🙂 

Post # 9
8440 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@les105:  +1, I think most states will allow you to work as a classroom assistant with just a few hours of early education credits.

Post # 10
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2005

I definitely feel this way, to the point that we wouldn’t have had a kid if we didn’t know that we’d be able to stay home with him.

Have you considered running your own small in-home daycare?  Just 2 or 3 other kids about the same age?  I know a couple of moms who have done that successfully.

Post # 13
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Yes.  I don’t want my Dear Daughter in daycare, but we need to do it a couple of days each week because I have to work!  We found a lovely daycare with caregivers we love.  Also it’s close to my work so I will be popping in unannounced frequently!!

I actually prefer the large centers over home daycares because there are so many different people in and out every day.  I like lots of people seeing what’s going on at all times!!

Post # 14
1401 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I used to work in daycare. I think it depends on the center or place that you decide to use. Is there someone that can recommend a place to you? And in most states you can look up wether or not a place has had any complaints or issues with the state through the licensing agency. Question… if you decide to use daycare wouldyour husband have you pay for it or would he be willing to pay if you work? And some places have cameras that are linked to their websites so you can actually go online and see what’s happening in the classroom.

I don’t want to use daycare specifically because of the cost. But it’s something I’ll have to do when the baby gets here. Good luck.

Post # 15
4691 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

I read a little while ago kids raised in daycares vs kids raised at home/ with family turn out to be no different socially, educationally or physically, if that makes you feel any better. In other words, “research says” daycare won’t negatively affect your kids.

I’m a teacher and most all my colleages have kids in daycare and have had good experiences. It’s outrageously expensive up here too (I’m near Albany). I can understand why you wouldnt want your little one in daycare but you might start to feel very isolated and controlled by SO if you don’t get out and make a life for yourself.

Post # 16
6883 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

My son is in a in home licensced daycare and I love it.  Maybe try something like that so much more intimate and more 1 on 1 based. My daycare provider can only have 9 kids.  She is awesome. 

I would have a hard time if he was in a center. 

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