Post # 1
Ok – so here’s the deal:
my parents have been divorced for 10 years and I don’t have a relationship with my father, he is not invited to the wedding. I am ok with the whole situation and love the family that has chosen to be in my life.
Before i expressed any concerns to my Fiance about the traditional dances i asked if he wanted to do a groom/mother dance, and he confidently said ‘of course’. I don’t really want to take that away from him, it’s important to him and i want to incorporate elements that are important to him in the wedding.
So i read some posts on here and decided, it’s fine, they can just do their dance, i will take the time to visit, or sit down and relax, no biggie.
So fast forward a couple months. We are having dinner at his parents house and discussing the wedding and stuff. And some how the groom/mother dance comes up and i can see his mother getting very uncomfortable. Anyway it surfaces that she won’t do the son/mother dance unless i am dancing with someone too (she would just skip it)
I appreciate what she is trying to do, but I know it’s important to my Fiance and i would really just have them dance and not worry about me.
As for substitutes, my brothers don’t dance (it was a big enough feat for my SIL to get my brother to dance for their first song at his own wedding) and i could ask my grandfather, however he is quite elderly and has a cane and I am not really sure if dancing is an option for him.
My Fiance has now said he doesn’t have to do the dance with his mom, but like i said earlier, i feel really bad taking that moment away from him.
Post # 3
Can you dance with your mom? I’ve heard of bees doing that, and if she’s the one who raised you and who you feel close to, it makes perfect sense to me. I actually feel a little bad that I’ll only be dancing with my dad, as the man, and not having a dance with my mother who’s just as important (maybe we’ll sneak one in later).
Post # 4
Yes, I’ve been to weddings where the bride dances with her mom, and I think it’s touching.
Post # 5
I think dancing with your mom is a nice idea. Also potentially if you are close to FI’s dad you could dance with him.
Post # 6
hmmm…it’s not odd at all? i can’t really imagine dancing with my mom.
I have a good relationship with my Future Father-In-Law, however not sure I would want to dance with him for that dance.
maybe i will run it past my mom and see what she thinks of it.
Post # 7
@sunbride11:I don’t see what one has to do with the other. Either she wants to dance with her son or not! Why does she care what you are doing?
Post # 8
@sunbride11: What about dancing with your Father-In-Law while your hubby and Mother-In-Law dance?
Post # 9
what if you dance with your Father-In-Law or do you have a young boy/flower girl in your wedding party that you can dance with
Post # 10
yeah i don’t know why the two are linked together. I think his mom maybe feels bad that i don’t have someone to dance with. I don’t think she gets it that i am really ok with it.
@eloping – there are no children in our wedding party, nice idea though 🙂
Post # 11
@sunbride11: I think it wouldn’t be weird at all to dance with your mom. If you feel awkward, you can always do a faster dance, as opposed to a stand and sway. It just seems to me like the whole point is dancing to have a moment with and honor a person that brought you to this point. And if you dance with Future Father-In-Law or someone else, when your mother is sitting right there, just because she happens to be female…well I personally feel like that defeats the purpose. At least if the purpose is doing something equivalent to the mother-son dance.
Post # 12
It’s all about what you’re comfortable with, but FWIW, I would be really touched to see a bride dance with her mom. I think it’s sweet and lovely.
Post # 13
hmmm – ok, thanks for the reassurance. I guess i just haven’t seen a bride/mom dance before.
I will ask my mom and see if she is comfortable with it.
@miss OBG – i totally agree with you, i would feel awkward dancing with my Future Father-In-Law and having my mom sit by the side.
Post # 14
We have this same problem, except it is with HIS mom and not my dad. Here’s our solution. We will do two dances:
1st: Me and my dad doing a traditional father-daughter dance.
2nd: Parent-switch dance, where I will be dancing with HIS dad, and he will be dancing with MY mom.
That way there isn’t just one dance with me and my dad, and all of our parents (that are in our lives) will get to dance with one of us. Maybe you could do something similar? If you just wanted to have one dance, maybe you could start out the dance with your Fiance and his mom, and then your man could switch his mom for your mom, and you and his dad could enter the dance floor at that time too.