(Closed) Don’t want to do the right thing…

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Man.  I’m sorry that you’re going through this.  Getting to know the Future In-Laws is difficult enough without all of this.  I think I would feel the same way as you, I wouldn’t want to invite them, but at the same time, I might see it as the “bigger” thing to do.  In all honestly, I think things might be made worse if you didn’t invite him.  I think it might just add fuel to his fire on his campaign against you.  If you invite and he decides not to come because he disapproves of your lifestyle, then at least you can say you tried.  If he does come and acts out, then hopefully everyone will see him for what he is and consider him a jerk for impeding your wedding day!

Post # 4
Member
674 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

You know, in my opinion…don’t send him an invite.

You said your Fiance is ok with that, so there’s no problem there.

You do NOT need someone running their mouth at YOUR wedding. It’s supposed to be the best day of your life. You don’t need people like that there.

He wanted to cut off all communication so honor his wishes and don’t send him an invite. I wouldn’t send his wife one either because then you run the risk of him coming with her and hence running his mouth at your wedding.

Post # 5
Member
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

If he can’t be trusted to behave… you can invite him and hire security in case he doesn’t behave or you can not invite him. There’s also the possibility of hand delivering the invitation and trying to make a reconciliation at that time – I don’t know your BIL and if that would work. If you invite both him and his wife, there’s a possibility that only she would come since he disapproves of you so much. It really sucks when people can’t shut up about their disapproval for at least one day.

Post # 6
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I second thecolorteale–he said he wanted to cut off communication, so do so. I know you know the “right” thing to do, but do you want bad memories of your wedding day? He needs to learn that running his mouth has consequences, especially since he’s so religious, he should know that only God can judge!

Post # 7
Member
10 posts
Newbee

If they have such strong religious convictions (and I believe this is true in every religion) how could they judge you like that?  No communication means no communication, means no invitation. People like this give religion (all of them!) a bad name, I doubt god would behave that way!

Post # 8
Member
2030 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I don’t think you have to invite them. He said he is done – so let it be, especially since it is causing you so much pain. In time he will come to realize what he has thrown away.

Post # 9
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

This situation really stinks! I am sorry you have to go through this. That being said, don’t invite him. Surround yourselves with people who love you and want to share this special day with you.

@Sally – I agree with you wholeheartedly! I have found that some of the people claiming to be “religious” are the biggest hypocrites! Who are they to judge?! Unfortunately, I live with one… Sigh.

Post # 10
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I am so sorry that you are being treated like this.  there is just no excuse for poor manners or rudeness.

I deal with people like this by sweetly smiling at them, patting their arm and saying “Thank you for telling me how you feel.  I’m going to pray for you.”

Post # 12
Member
495 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I agree definitely don’t invite him.  I definitely understand feeling bad, but I guess if you’re Fiance is okay with it don’t invite him.  Although I suppose you should consider if you want a relationship with him or the sister or their family it all.  If you want to at some point down the road, you  may have to invite him.  But ugh! I’m so sorry you’re going through this!

Post # 13
Member
774 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I have to agree, he made the choice of cutting all communication. I know you want to be the bigger person and I think I wold too, but if you really feel it is a bad idea and are dreading it that much, it is your wedding day honey. You need to do what will make you happy. I also agree with sally that if he claims be so religious then he would know better than to judge you like that and leave it in God’s hands.

Post # 14
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with the hive on this one – don’t invite him. You want to be surrounded by people who love, accept, and suuport you on your wedding day, and who are there to celebrate your love. Anyone who can’t or won’t do that for whatever reason need not be included. Also you’d just drive yourself crazy worrying about them making nasty remarks and just generally being unpleasant all day and you don’t need that. Forget them. If they can’t share in your happiness, they shouldn’t be there.

Post # 15
Member
235 posts
Helper bee

I second cheerful‘s suggestion… I think that you should hand deliver, at a last attempt to fix things and if he still pushes you away, then leave it at that and be done with it. 

I’m sorry you’re going through this and I hope that you and your Fiance can find the happiness amongst all the drama.  Don’t let them bring you down, you and Fiance are each others families now and that’s all you need.

Take Care ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 16
Member
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Steph921, I’m sorry that attempts to rectify the situation in person haven’t worked out. Maybe then a last-ditch phone call? 

The topic ‘Don’t want to do the right thing…’ is closed to new replies.

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