(Closed) Don’t Want to Help Plan BFF’s Baby Shower

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Moms aren’t supposed to be involved in the baby shower! Any way you can plan it without getting mom involved? Could you put her in charge of something specific, like bringing food?

Post # 4
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Since her mom was so pushy last time I just wouldn’t offer my services, especially since last time she didn’t want your help…just your money. Still go to the shower, get gift etc. Maybe you can offer to bring a dish of food or something small but not offer to foot the bill for the party. I don’t think your friend should get mad for you not helping since her mom seems to have things under control.

Post # 5
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

You could offer to throw her your own “friends” shower, just for a smallish group of girlfriends vs. family, family friends, etc.  My cousin did that for one of our girlfriends who was already being thrown a shower by a family member.  It was really fun, and actually very nice to have 12 guests vs. a larger crowd. 

Post # 7
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Could you throw a “friends” baby shower and then she can have a separate “family” shower?

Edit: In that case I don’t think you should be responsible for throwing it – you are so far away! Maybe if you just don’t volunteer you will just get an invite instead 🙂

Post # 8
Member
3526 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

In that case then I think logistically it really doesn’t make sense for you to assist in the baby shower planning.

If you are traveling to her shower why don’t you offer to take her out for something just the two of you on an alternate day?

Like a spa day (pregnancy massage if she’s able to during that time) or just a nice girl’s brunch or something?

Post # 9
Member
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I say offer to take charge of ONE aspect of the shower.   Say to your friend and her mom “I would love to be more involved in the planning process, but the distance makes things tough.  But I’m so excited for you and would like to contribute…why don’t I handle the favors”

Pick something small, the mom is less likely to care.  That way, you contribute, but don’t have to be involved with mom on a regular basis

Post # 10
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

In that case, Ew. Do you HAVE to throw it? Is there anybody else who’d do it?

Maybe “throw it” at a restaurant?……it’s kind of hard to throw a baby shower if it’s 100% hosted by the grandmother of the baby, yet paid for by you.

Who was her Matron of Honor?

Post # 11
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wouldn’t offer. I think it’s perfectly OK to attned the shower as a guest only and bring an awesome gift.

Post # 12
Member
2640 posts
Sugar bee

 I don’t think you have to really offer to throw it at all.  Your Bm duties are done, now.  You don’t live near her.  Most of the people I know have their baby showers thrown by their family. 

Post # 13
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

If she lives in Florida and you live in DC there is not much you can do anyway to help plan. Flying down for the shower is a major gesture to begin with.

Post # 15
Member
14183 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Ahhhh. I got the impression you already got roped into throwing it or that she’d asked you to help or something. 

I think you flying all the way to Florida and spending time with her would be PLENTY for her to not be hurt over!

Since mom loves to throw parties so much and impress people to a T, let her do it if it’s going to end up being at her house anyways!

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