Post # 1
I’ve got a pickle of a situation.
I work on a team with four great women. I’m definitely inviting one of them to my wedding. We socialize outside of work regularly. I’m unsure what to do about the other three.
I have a close relationship with one of them (let’s call her Emily) at work — but we don’t socialize outside of work. At work, though, we talk about a lot of stuff — her personal life, her career goals, a bit about my personal life.
As for the remaining two — with one, I’m not at all close to. The other, is very nice, but very professional, and rarely talks about her personal life. (I like her, but I feel like I don’t know her at all, really.)
The women regularly ask me about the wedding, and I tend to talk a lot about it, too. I feel bad for not inviting them to my wedding, and at the same time, I wouldn’t feel entirely comfortable if they were there, except for perhaps, Emily.
Any suggestions? Should I take them out to lunch or something? Or just hope their feelings won’t be too hurt? Should I hope the one I am inviting brings “Emily” as her plus one?
Post # 3
That’s a tough one. Have you worked with all of the women for a long time? Are there other co-workers beside them that you are inviting?
Post # 4
I’ve worked with them for a few years. There are other people from work I’m inviting. One is a dear friend, whom I socialize with frequently. (She’s like my work “husband.”) Another is a friend, who honestly, I’m inviting because he basically invited himself to the wedding. : / I know — not proud of that one, but he’s done a lot for me. That’s it — just 3 people from work.
Post # 5
If you work closely with the women on your team, I’m afraid they probably will get their feelings hurt. At the same time your not obligated to invite them but down the road will this cause tension during work? If you think it would I would probably just invite them.
Post # 6
I think most important thing is to keep wedding stuff to yourself. I only invited my co worker and his wife whom I socialize with out side of work, and one of my bosses whom I consider a mentor.
I think the best way to avoid bad feelings is to not advertise your plans to invite only Emily, and to keep your wedding details to yourself.