Don't want to include FSIL in bridal party

posted 1 week ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 31
Member
6806 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

lavender9 :  You said you believe your fiance will be hurt if you don’t include his sister. And that he will be including your brother as a groomsman. If you don’t include your Future Sister-In-Law on your side, will she be the only sibling left out of the wedding party? 

Post # 32
Member
9163 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

if he’s asking your brother, i would just ask his sister.

my brother stood on my side, he’s not my husband’s nearest and dearest. he had his own people.

Post # 33
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

Is it an expectation of the family, or just your FH? Of course she can stand with your FH but many times the families expect the SIL to be a bridesmaid.

Post # 34
Member
585 posts
Busy bee

Given the upate, if your brother is going to be in the party and you think it would win you big time “brownie points”, I would probably have her in. 

Post # 35
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I’m with the bees that say she should stand on his side if he wants her in the bridal party. It is ridiculous to make separations based solely on gender. I didn’t have a bridal party, but at my sister’s wedding, her husband had two women standing on his side along with a few men. 

Post # 36
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - Upstate NY

I am including my Future Sister-In-Law. We arent close, we are vastly different people, we dont talk very much at all aside from when she is in town and we see her at their parents house (she lives like 5ish hours away). BUT i think shes pretty awesome, very easygoing, and im not expecting a lot. my fiance thought i should include her and i dont see any good reason not to. 

I think you need to weigh the pros and cons and make a decision for yourself. If you think youre going to get resistance on your choices and but heads then you probably shouldnt include her. 

Post # 37
Member
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020

I didn’t realize that it was a “thing” to have a SIL as a bridesmaid.  I mean, I know that people do it… but didn’t think it was an automatic thing.  My FH has a sister and I like her just fine and it never crossed my mind to make her part of the bridal party.  Maybe it is because I see her once per year (we live in different states) but even if I saw her more often I am not sure she would be in the bridal party.  I didn’t want a huge bridal party so I chose three close friends. 

Post # 38
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee

If your husband to be is going to ask your brother to be an usher/groomsman, then I would include her in the bridal party if I were you.

Post # 39
Member
983 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

hikingbride :  I think when you get married its about families coming together as one. Once I’m married I would hope it wouldn’t be about well they are YOUR family it would be about OUR family.

Post # 40
Member
773 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - Turkey

Include her to the bridal party just to be gentle but not make her a bridesmaid. Is that an option at all? (sorry if a bridal party means everyone is a bridesmaid, I’ve never been to one – cultural reasons) 

Post # 41
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2025 - City, State

I’m on team groomswoman (and bridesman*, since you have a brother).

 

Since it’s a bridesmaid, not a brideswoman, is the proper term bridesbutler?

Post # 42
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2025 - City, State

betyl :  Hi Betyl, the “wedding party” actually isn’t a party (as in gala / fete / celebratory event) at all.  It’s just a collective term for the bridesmaids and groomsmen, or whatever attendants there may be.  It’s more like when you call a restaurant and make a reservation for “Joan, party of 5,” if you’re familiar with that usage – it just means there are 5 people not that there’s necessarily a birthday event or anything like that.

Post # 43
Member
983 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

lovesbooks99 :  Not asking to be mean but I hear this a lot of oh I am closer to my friends than family and not close to cousins or a sibling in law but just for the sake of having family they threw in some random cousin or an in law they don’t event like. What’s the point of having family if you aren’t close. For appearance sake?

Post # 44
Member
1350 posts
Bumble bee

soexcited123 :  Yes, pretty much.  And I also think that if you are not close to the bride, you shouldn’t feel obligated to say yes and then feel resentful and bitter.  Even my husband thought it was a bad idea to put his sister in the bridal party, but I didn’t realize it at the time. 

Post # 45
Member
828 posts
Busy bee

My Future Sister-In-Law got engaged before me and didn’t include me in hers. This was a relief to me because I have 5 sisters and didn’t need another one in my very large bridal party. I don’t think it is/should be a requirement to have a sister in law in your bridal party if you’re not close. IMO, it’s not the same thing as a Fiance sister (or brother) and it’s not necessary to include. It’s just a nice bonus if you do have a relationship like that!

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors