(Closed) Don’t want to look like a dummy…

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What should I do?
    Ask for a vegetarian option. If not, go with chicken fingers. : (58 votes)
    69 %
    Don't bother the busy wedding planners. Select chicken fingers. : (22 votes)
    26 %
    Get fish and hope husband eats off my plate so it doesn't get wasted. Just have a snack beforehand. : (4 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1363 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Do you like chicken fingers?  Because I freaking love them, and since the two other options on the menu are not an option for you, I would select chicken fingers and include a note letting her know that you can’t eat fish or beef.  

    If you’re not secretly thrilled about chicken fingers, I’d drop her an email and let her know that you can’t eat fish or beef, and would be happy with the chicken option, but were wondering if there is a veggie option.

    Post # 5
    Member
    3124 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    If you like chicken fingers, just order that. you can put a cute little note in there and if they choose to, they could probably arrange a veg meal for you. If not, chicken fingers are basic but delicious!

    Post # 6
    Member
    332 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    The kid’s options are usually less expensive for whoever’s paying. The venue might not be okay with an adult getting a kids item. I know at my venue at least, the kids option really is only available to kids.

    I would ask if there is a vegetarian option. They may have just left it off of the rsvp card to keep things simple, but most caterers provide a vegetarian option upon request!

    Post # 7
    Member
    494 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    The chicken fingers would be a good option if you like them but if the portion is smaller (since it’s for kids) maybe you can ask for “adult serving” of chicken fingers!  Or definitely a vegetarian option.  Maybe they’ve polled their guests on the amount of vegetarians attending but it really urks me when people think a fish option is great for vegetarians…we don’t eat fish! If one did they’re a pescetarian.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2015 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I have to chime in and agree with chexmix. Some venues have pretty strict policies on kid’s meals, and mine did, too. While they weren’t IDing the kids at our wedding, if a server brought chicken fingers to an adult, I’m pretty sure they would have charged us the full price after-the-fact. There was something about that in our contract.

    If it were me, I would e-mail the bride, and just say:

    “I’m so sorry to have to ask because I’m sure you have enough to worry about! But, unfortunately, I don’t eat fish or beef, and I just wanted to ask if there was a vegetarian option being served? If not, that’s totally fine, I just wanted to make sure I gave you the most accurate RSVP! We’re so excited to attend your wedding, and hope planning is going well. Thank you!”

    Post # 9
    Member
    1051 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    You could probably just do the chicken fingers though I’m not sure how that would get priced out for them (since kids meals are typically cheaper but you’re clearly not a kid).  I’d be hesitaant to make a special request since it could open the flood gates for people with all sorts of food aversions, allergies and restriction.  My mom’s diabetic, but she doesn’t ask them to provide sugar-free cake.  To be honest, I’d just eat something before I go and hope there are some apps I can nibble and grab a quick bite after if I’m still hungry.  It’s impossible to completely please everyone, and I personally don’t think it’s the couples’ job.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1585 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I didn’t think twice on having a vegetarian option at my wedding.  Of course my mom eats a vegan diet so it was very important to me to have this option.

    I think that you have every right to ask if there is a veggie option.  A lot of times the location has the unspoken veggie option.  You could always call where the reception place is and ask them if they have this “secret option”

    Post # 12
    Member
    2015 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    @twilila: I don’t think it would open up any flood gates because who else would know that there’s been inquiries about the food selections? While I totally understand not wanting to be demanding, I think it’s totally reasonable to ask about a veggie option, as they’re pretty standard (I would be shocked if there was one). I’m not usually one to cater to everyone’s dietary restrictions, but if heathaah were my guest, I actually would want to know that she was aware of all the options. As long as she’s polite about it, and doesn’t demand another option, I don’t see the harm in asking 🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    713 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    my guess is they have a pasta dish on hand for vegetarians. I am thinking that this is how my venue works.. but any wedding i have ever been to, the option isnt listed on the menu but if you ask they have pasta or sometimes eggplant.

    Post # 14
    Member
    713 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    now i am craving chicken fingers 😉

    Post # 15
    Member
    2004 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2008

    I would include a small note on the response meal card explaining your situation. That way the bride can examine your situation at her leisure when she receives your response. Also, since she is your cousin, I think you get more leeway in asking questions without being a pain.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1045 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2008

    I wouldn’t bother the bride– most venues have a “silent” vegetarian option, and it’s just not listed on the short menu.  Or, I’m sure they could always sub in the chicken for you on the day.

    The topic ‘Don’t want to look like a dummy…’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors