(Closed) Don’t want to move in before wedding…

posted 8 years ago in Christian
Post # 3
Hostess
18641 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would first check to see if you can start the program at the other school and transfer (or which classes they say you should take that would transfer).  I’m sure that if they are similar they will transfer over.

Post # 4
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Ugh, this is so difficult. I was also very against moving in with my (now husband) Fiance before we were married as well. I was in almost the same situation that you were in, and my very awesome brother and sister in law offered for me to live with them for 6 months. It definitely stunk having to move twice, but I moved most of my big stuff in with my guy, and just lived with my brother. It worked out so well for us.

But, you unfortunately don’t have that option. I’m also assuming you don’t have a friend in the area who might be able to help you out, right? In that case, my vote would be just to move into together. I know it’s tough to swallow, especially b/c you don’t believe in it for your religious background, but it’s the most cost effective thing to do before your wedding.

I know it’s not the best solution, but it sounds like it’s the most logical at this point.

Post # 5
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

What about campus housing?  If they have some you could do that for a semester.  I don’t know what the cost would be.  Since me and my Fiance won’t live together before the wedding I understand your concern.  I would think that if you really need to move in together maybe you could stay in seperate rooms.  That is what I would do if I was in your situation.  Just my suggestion.  I hope every thing works out.

Post # 6
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I agree with 2peas suggestion, if that is an option for you.

I was the same way before I got married. I lived in an apt. and my least was up 3 months before the wedding. I could have paid month to month, but the rent would have gone up significantly, so I went ahead and moved in with him. When we went for pre-marital counseling, I was actually hesitant to tell the pastor about it, but he was very understanding. Most people realize that apartments aren’t going to cut you any slack if you break a lease. I understand if you’re not comfortable moving in together beforehand, and if it were a longer amt of time I wouldn’t advise it BUT I also know that you can still refrain from “certain things” even if you live together for a short period of time 😉

Best of luck!

Post # 7
Member
14185 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Could you maintain separate rooms or beds if that would help? Campus housing should be able to help you out….but it’s not exactly cheap to live in a dorm nor eat their food. And they almost always require a food plan.

If anything, you could talk to the campus about roommates–a lot of people need a short term roommate and will take it as they need it. So you could live with another person for just a semester. Again, costs money and not ideal. I’d rather live with someone I know/trust and maintain bounds than a stranger. Or, if your religious feelings are that strong, you could stay where you are until December, THEN move.

Post # 9
Member
14185 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

How long would it take to finish your masters where you live? Is the program where you live better than the program for where you move?

Post # 11
Member
14185 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

You could always ask your pastor what he thinks you should do…he may have some options for you. Or, he may give you advice on how to “live in sin” without, well, living in sin….Maybe there is another couple he knows of you coudl talk to about how to avoid temptation if/when you live together.

As long as each others’ rooms are off-limits, that will really help.

Post # 13
Member
363 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2010 - Trinity Presbyterian Church/Harrison Opera House

I know moving twice stinks, but that’s what I did.  I got a short term lease for 6 months (and I was also looking at sublets and even Extended Stay America) and then moved when we got married.  There are options – just looks into them all, be patient, and pray that God would open up the doors!

Post # 14
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Maybe you could look for someone who needs a semester long sublet.  Lots of people have roommates who go study abroad or something, and need someone to fill a space for a few months.  Then you wouldn’t have to worry about a security deposit or furnishing more than a bedroom, and your rent would be fairly low.  It’s not ideal, but it’s only for a few months…

Post # 16
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I live in a college town, and there are a ton of opportunities for short-term rentals, sublets, etc. I’d definitely look into that. I’m also near a large state university though, with a lot of turnover in rentals, so I don’t know if the situation would be different for you. My Fiance and I are trying to find a new apartment that’s long-term, non-student housing and it’s been a struggle because everything out there right now is temporary. If you contact people at your school they may be able to help you find something for a few months.

I would second the suggestion of living together in different rooms if that’s an option you’re comfortable with.

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