(Closed) Dont want to send mother in law a thank you card

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: Do I send a thank you card?
    Nope. No need if you already thanked them at the rehersal dinner with a gift and card (and we did) : (14 votes)
    29 %
    Yes ! They are your husband's parents ! : (35 votes)
    71 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    714 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Your in-laws were not obligated to contribute to the cost of your wedding. 

    If they gave you a gift, you thank them for that.  If they didn’t give you a gift, you don’t need to send a thank you.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4137 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    i would send one anyway. they’re your in-laws…if they’re rude, kill them with kindness!

    you can say something like “thank you for sharing our special day and i’m happy to be able to call you family”

    Post # 7
    Member
    652 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Yes, you should send them a thank you note.  I like what you wrote “thanks for coming” or “thanks for sharing in this special day with us…” or something to that effect. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    4137 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    @OrchidGal: yes! that’s the point of killing with kindness! i know you don’t mean it, but i would say it anyway.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1135 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    If they gave you $1000, you need to thank them.  Him giving them $1000 to pay them back for a loan has nothing to do with it.  He would have had to pay them back and so basically, by giving you $1000 they forgave the loan that they made to him, which is a lovely gift.  My in-laws literally gave us NOTHING and while they were here for the wedding we had to give them a check for $8,000 that they loaned us for the downpayment on our home the year before.  They still got a thank you note because they’re family and they were there.  I have a multitude of issues with my in-laws, but not sending them a note just makes me look like the smaller person, and I prefer to take the high road.

    Post # 12
    Member
    893 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Etiquette rule for thank you notes:

    If they gave you a gift, you send a note.

    You do not need to send a note to thank people for coming to your event.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1135 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    Okay seriously?  They loaned him $1000.  He HAD to pay them pack.  It was a loan.  That’s what you do with loans (or at least that’s what I do with loans). 

    So.  He gets a $1000 loan.  He has $1000.

    Then he pays them back, $1000.  He then has $0.

    Then, they GIFT him $1000.  He has $1000.  To keep and do with as he pleases.

    The first $1000 was not his.  The second $1000 is.  So it’s a $1000 gift, which is a lovely gesture, and deserves a thank you note.

    Post # 14
    Hostess
    16215 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    It’s sounds like your mind is made up, but I’m also going to mention that I think I’d send them a note, just for good measure.

    Post # 16
    Member
    4547 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    We had a few people not give gifts and we still gave them a thank you for coming. I would send your ILs a thank you for coming just to keep the peace.

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