- Circus Peanut
- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
Since I’ve noticed on the Bee that the same issues seem to come up over and over with family and friends, I thought it would be fun / funny to do some “Do’s and Don’ts” for people close to the bride and groom during wedding planning. Please don’t take it too seriously or think I’m being self-entitled here, I mean this totally tongue in cheek!
Please add on!
DO: Ask questions to show an interest in the couple’s plans. No matter how many times they’ve been over it, they’re probably still excited to talk about the dreamy cake flavor, the fun color scheme and the creative centerpieces.
DON’T: Ask inappropriate questions! A wedding does not give you free rein to blatantly ask a couple how much they’re spending, whether they’re trying for kids right away, or if the wedding night is going to be “wild”, wink wink.
DO: RSVP promptly.
DON’T: Modify your RSVP. In any way. Ever. No additions, no substitutions.
DO: Offer useful advice. Do you happen to know that the ‘hot’ new local DJ is a cad who no-showed on his last wedding? That there’s a trick that will save you a boatload of money at the local florist? A great idea for keeping people mingling at a cocktail hour? By all means, share!
DON’T: Overdo it, or turn ‘advice’ into ‘orders’. Simply put, it’s not your wedding. Unless you’re footing the bill, no telling the bride and groom what they have to, can’t, or simply must / must not do. This is not the time to get on a soapbox about children at weddings, nontraditional weddings, or destination weddings. If there’s something that you really can’t deal with, politely decline on your RSVP.
DO: Build the couple up. Have you noticed that the groom has a wicked sense of humor? That the bride looks radiant in white? Let them know! This is a stressful time when the couple is forced into the spotlight and may be second-guessing a lot of choices. A little vote of confidence goes a long way.
DON’T: Tear the couple down. Have you noticed the bride is really breaking out from stress? The groom could stand to hit the gym? Trust me, they have too. You’re not helping them out by “making them aware” of these facts.
(Note – this applies mostly to parents and very close family members!)
DO: Put your differences aside for the sake of the bride and groom.
DON’T: View the wedding as “your chance” to avenge some long standing beef with the second cousin who slighted you at the family reunion, by insisting that the bride seat her in the closet or exclude her from the shower.
DO: Make sure you have an internet connection available, so that you can do some Googling.
DON’T: Use the bride and groom as a personal concierge service to resolve every easily answerable question you may have about the wedding. Especially if said information was already laid out on the invite.
DO: Have fun at the wedding!
DON’T: Get really really drunk and hit on the bride at the wedding.