(Closed) Dos and don’ts from a guest’s perspective

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
295 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

The only really big faux pas I’ve seen was a wedding where champagne for toasts was provided for the head table and immediate family but not for other guests—that came across as pretty tacky, especially since people were standing so they had to ask which table you were at before saying whether they’d hand you a glass. For the small difference in cost to let everyone toast—definitely not worth it! There are better places to save money.

Post # 4
Member
5498 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

make sure the DJ has a loud enough mic. I’ve missed a few cake cuttings and such that I wanted to see because the mic wasn’t loud enough or they didn’t announce it.

Post # 5
Member
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I don’t like it when the bride/groom don’t let you know that dinner won’t be served right away.  I’ve been to weddings where the bride and groom go out bar hopping in between the ceremony and the reception.  The rest of us just sit around the reception hall for 2 hours and wait for them to arrive.  I don’t like that.  Let us know exactly what time the reception is going to start.  We could have gone out bar hopping during that break time too!

Post # 7
Member
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Edit (because I misunderstood the question…): The only thing I can think of that works better in theory than practice is the videographer coming around to all of the tables to get greetings.  It’s a good idea, since you can get footage of everyone easily.  However, I went to one wedding where the videographer came around while people were eating and wanted us to say something.  Me with a mouth full of food is probably painful to look at on video, haha.

Post # 8
Member
5263 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

Slideshows are nice and all, but can be a much bigger pain than they are worth. I went to a wedding where they couldn’t get the flash drive to work with the computer on-site. They went around to every table asking if someone knew how to get it to work. An hour later they got it working, and then the volume ended up being so loud that most of the guests had to cover their ears. It was a 15 minute slideshow, too, mostly of pictures and songs. 

Post # 9
Member
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Speaking of slideshows, I feel like they’re always waaaaay too long, and half the pictures that the family thinks are soooo funny (because they remember what happened when it was taken), no one else ‘gets’.

Post # 10
Member
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Stuff that should be avoided with what I think would have worked better:

  1. If you’re throwing a dry reception, PLEASE NOTE IT, either on the invitation (if invite is informal style) or on an insert or the website (if invite is formal style)…also, have the MOB or MOG or both spread the word to family by word of mouth.  People tend to expect alcohol at weddings, even during the day, so it helps to know before hand to not expect it
  2. If not everyone is seated at the ceremony, please identify who the seats belong to, so that wedding party members don’t have to do the dirty work of ousting guests who sat down in the seats meant for immediate family
  3. If doing the video message thing (actually a pet-peeve of mine…I SO don’t like having my celebration interrupted by a videographer whom I don’t know, insisting on a video message & then asking for a 2nd take b/c he thought I needed to be more original), have your MC announce that this will be happening so that guests can prep a meaningful or fun message, not just the video version of yearbook messages
  4. Either cut the “wait time” between ceremony & reception (including cocktail hour) down to the bare minimum or provide entertainment & carb-y snacks…those passed hors d’oeuvres are NOT as filling as you think they are & the longer people have to drink, the drunker they are during the speech portion of the reception 

Stuff I saw that I never would have thought of, but was AWESOME!:

  1. Allow for multi-media speeches: at my best friend’s wedding, the GMs put together a video, a song, & a stage performance that was unforgettable!
  2. Provide other (but uniquely YOU) entertainment: one of my BMs had Casino Night at her wedding – she & her hubby notoriously put together our yearly Vegas vacay…the chips had their monogram on them
  3. Superfun wedding party entrances: Same BM’s groom & GMs walked in to the ceremony to Top Gun intro music with Aviator shades & in a flight formation; a mutual friend had the groom & GMs skate in on boards (I think she’s featured in Real Simple Weddings this season)
  4. Put your own twist on classic wedding events: same BM’s Father/Daughter dance was the “Twist” to “Twist & Shout”; Future Brother-In-Law & Future Sister-In-Law replaced their first dance with an acapella duet (they were in the same acapella group in college – fell in love while in the group); friends of Future Brother-In-Law had karaoke singing during the cocktail hour – wedding party started the performances to get ppl brave enough to go up…makes the wedding more interesting
  5. If doing a destination wedding, either only invite people who know each other REALLY well or make sure to host “getting to know each other” events: friends threw the most awesome breaking the ice event by having guests play “Family Feud” with questions about the Bride & Groom, then after the wedding, hosted a FABULOUS after party at their villa with private hot tub & pool…we’ve made friends that we still get together with 5 years later at that wedding

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