Post # 1
Bees I’m oober grossed out at the moment. Let me break it down for you.
My ex of over ten years ago starting communicating with me via facebook again about oh six months or so ago. I am good friends with his sister so having civil conversation with him is somewhat required. Be that as it may we honestly had not spoken for nearly ten years (broke up my Sophomore year in college) so when he started messaging me via FB I was a little shocked.
Now my ex was super attractive to me at that time but now he is just a bum. He is incredibly over sarcastic, immature, kind of has his life together (not quite there though) and to be honest talking to him is always surface level and a bit obnoxious. In other words there is nothing about him these days that I find at all appealing. Never the less he decided about two or three months ago to kick up the conversations to include flirtation. While he started light at first recently he has been going all out with the oober gross romance (sending me songs he recorded with HIM singing, bleh!) and flirtation and frankly I find it gross and annoying. I have told him so in a frank manner but yet it continues. Most of the time I do not respond and delete the messages. I have yet to tell his sister (don’t know if I will) as I don’t want her to get involved.
Well today I about gagged when I logged onto FB. After reading yet another inappropriate message about feelings, emotions and “what ifs” I click to my friend’s page to see my ex holding a baby. Curious, I thought….whose baby? So I texted my friend. Turn’s out my ex is now a dad!!!!!!!!!!! ICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This guy, this creep, has been harassing his now married ex for all these months while some girl out there was carrying his baby. He took the time to send me that overtop message today while she was DELIVERING HIS CHILD. Ick, double ick, triple ick. I am so grossed out and bleh! Who does that? Seriously!?!?
Deleted, blocked, removed from contacts. Ew, ew, ew.
Question: Would you tell your friend, the sister about what happened?
EDIT: To answer everyone’s questions my Darling Husband is well aware of what was happening and thinks he is a douchebag. He knows my feelings on the matter and how I was addressing it so no issue there. As for “continuing to talk to him” that is a loose interpretation of what happened. As I said I often ignored his messages and texts (not before showing my husband, laughing and then deleting).
Post # 3
ew ew ewwwww
there will come the time that you look back and think it’s funny
Post # 4
@Anamagana: Not right now. I am honestly disgusted from head to toe. When I saw that picture on FB with him holding the baby I knew, I knew right then, but still had to ask. It was like a wave of ick washed over me.
Post # 5
@Treejewel19: Ew is right, what a creep. What does your husband say about all that?
I don’t think I’d say anything, though. But, idk, maybe. Interested to see what other Bees think, lol.
Maybe you could ask your friend about the FB pics and see if they’re in a committed relationship. Just because they had a baby together doesn’t mean they’re together-together. But, still, he knows you’re married so he’s still being entirely inappropriate. Good for you for blocking him.
Post # 6
Why did you continue to talk to him after the first inappropriate message? Just because you’re friends with his sister doesn’t mean you have to indulge him. I personally would have nipped it in the bud long before it got to this point.
Post # 7
SO gross! I wouldn’t tell his sister unless she brought it up though, especially since you’re friends, and like it or not, they’re related. I know I’d publicly back my sisters even if they did something incredibly icky and stupid.
Post # 8
Shameful, just disgusting.
Post # 9
@Sunfire: My Darling Husband thinks he is a douche. I haven’t told him about the baby aspect, boy won’t he get a kick out of that. I am leaning towards not saying anything to his sister unless he mentions something to her about being blocked on my FB. We shall see.
And true about the not being together with the mom BUT at the same time you think he would have mentioned it, right? I mean while he is spewing all sorts of what ifs and emotions you would think a “I’m going to be a dad” might fall in there somewhere. If he had discussed stuff like that and avoided the gross and surface level stuff I might actually have talked to him.
@somethingaquamarine: I think “continue to talk to him” is a bit loose in interpretation. I had civil conversation with him and most of the time as I mentioned I did not respond. I didn’t block him as again I am friends with his sister and didn’t want to make waves when I could just ignore what was happening. After being so grossed out I ceased to care.
Post # 10
What does your husband think of him contacting you?
He knew you were married, you asked him to stop, he just became a father, write it off and never look back! Great job with the blocking and such. I don’t see the point in mentioning to your friend 🙂
Post # 11
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
But as for your question, OP. No, I wouldn’t tell your sister, that’s her BROTHER, FAMILY so it’s only going to cause problems between you and her. If you want to keep her as a friend you did the right thing by cutting communication with her idiot brother, hopefully she doesn’t question you about it.
Post # 12
@Sunfire: +1 I had an icky ex friend me on fb a long time ago (I was newly engaged). Anyway, I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and accepted him. Within hours he sent me an inappropriate message all “oh, I didnt’ know you were engaged” and “do you think he is the right one”. I immediatly ended the fb friendship right there! I didn’t even respond to his message. If I had been you I would have blocked/deleted your ex months ago at the first sign of inappropriateness. Glad you finally did 🙂
Post # 13
@sn2bmrsmntgmry: Ew icky! Why do guys do that? As I mentioned I didn’t block him because of the friendship with his sister. I figured I could ignore the situation on the most part and it would fizzle out, maybe he would find someone new to harass?
Post # 14
@mchitt329: Agreed. IF she does ask me about it I will allude to the truth but I doubt I will go all out and explain everything. I do want to maintain her friendship of 11+ years.
Post # 15
@Treejewel19: sounds like you dodged a bullet there. good riddance.
Post # 16
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
Well at least now the timing makes sense! Once everything started getting real with the baby (which you have no idea if he wanted the baby or not) he started thinking about how now he is tied to his kid’s mom, and he started thinking about your relationship, and what if he were tied to you instead. Since he’s not married, he’s probably going through the same kind of crisis people go through when they get engaged RE his baby momma. “What if she wasn’t the right person to have a kid with? What am I going to do now? Is my life over?” and he started talking to you to see if he you still found him attractive and explore those what if questions.
I wouldn’t tell his sister unless she asks you. Most likely, he won’t mention it, because then he would have to explain why he was talking to you in the first place. I would, however, congratulate her on being an aunt!