Post # 1
I’m coming to terms with it. The fact that our wonderful number of 70 is gone. Bye bye.
My mother watched me order Save-The-Date Cards. She knew I was pricing out invites. Never did she think to say “don’t forget about my 20 bagillion people that I’m going to tell you about the DAY Save-The-Date Cards go out.”
Thank god vistaprint made me order 100. The guest list is finalized (YES it is closed! She even kept adding people. No wonder I’m breaking out for the first time in years)
It is a number I hate. I don’t know any of these people. It’s my fault because I didn’t put my foot down, but here is the issue. They are paying for the reception. My father, my wonderful father, is usually the logical one. I calmly ask him what he thinks and I got two answers.
1. You can’t invite (insert random person here) and not invite (insert 15 people here).
2. They won’t come, but most will send a gift.
I have asked my father to remember those words, I may have to make him eat them when 150 people show up.
My parents have gone bridezilla.
Post # 3
LOL! I’m so sorry hun. My mom did the same thing. We had a guest list of 40 and she sent me her own with 50. I invited all of them and, you know what, all of them have RSVPd “NO” so far (and not sent a gift). YAY!!
Post # 4
@aliavenue: That sounds so awesome and amazing. Praying for No’s!!!!
Post # 5
Oh man!!! The same thing happened to my sister when she was planning her wedding — she was the first to get married so mom and dad went a little wild with the invites. And then OF COURSE the guy who gets drunk and nearly gets punched in the face by the bride was one of the ‘randoms’. Here’s to hoping for some NO boxes checked! I was lucky enough to learn from my sister, who warned me ahead of time that “mom will want to invite a lot of people. You will have to say no. Then you will fight. Keep saying no. Unless you want Ross to come and get drunk at your wedding too.”
My list is about half of hers and I’m a happy camper 🙂 the one getting drunk and causing a scene had better be ME!
Post # 6
Went through this 20 minutes ago with my mom too but hopefully all those people wont come. You can count out at least 20 of those guests! Im sorry though, I already know the feeling.
Post # 7
@PinkFlemingo: I’m the youngest of three. The eldest went to the courthouse. The middle to vegas. My mother always wanted a wedding. FI and I knew this was what we were getting into.
If posts by me pop up on weddingbee that sounds like a small incoherent child crying just ignore me. Thats just me not dealing with this in a functional way at all. The sarcasm seems to help.
Post # 8
Ok…you went from the 70 people you wanted, to 159 they wanted? So basically, you’re having a wedding in which over half the guests are people you really don’t care to share your day with? I understand that you feel “obligated” to your parents to invite a few extra people due to them financing your reception, but there’s no way that should extend to nearly 100 people more! Your mother knew your numbers and should have piped up prior to you ordering your Save-The-Date Cards. After they arrived? Their number should have been capped at the 100 vistaprint sent you! Period!
As for your fathers argument you should have answered “I don’t have to invite (insert random persons name) then I won’t have to invite (insert 15 other random peoples names). You have 30, beyond my 70. It’s up to you and mom to figure out who they are”.
Really, it’s your day and if you want to keep it that way, you have to fight a little for it. If they’re bullying you this much over the guest list, just wait until other details start coming together. Fight for your day, Girl!
Post # 9
i know how u are feeling…. i had a mini vent yesterday.. our guestlist totaled invited is at 229. but thats with a listers responding no, or a listers not bringing children so there was room for b listers… so far 106 yes. and 26 NO’S.. i still have ninety something spots waiting for responses….
i really hope we dont have more then 200-210– max is 220 they will shut down the wedding reception if there is more then that…
Post # 10
The list 90 people being invited and expecting some no’s (the 70 was what we figured we’d end up with). Then Future Mother-In-Law gave me hers and I was at 110. It’s the cousin’s that are killing me, who knew we had so many? Then my parents said a few friends. That was about 20 (and the spouses of course). I would have argued but my father usually is the one to put his foot down on spending. They were both telling me that we ‘had’ to invite all these people and that none of them were going to come. Whatever, I’ve got too much to do already.
At this poing I’d be happy if it’s under 100.
Post # 11
@Dr Pepper: Our original limit was 100.
Just passed 300 when I sent invites out last week.
Wish I had some advice, but I clearly never had a handle on this one in the first place lol.
Post # 12
I feel you!!
my parents are the opposite though…. we wanted to invite 75-100 people, and they were like, I think you should get that down to 30-40 people!
(weird thing is, they’ve been divorced since 1996. apparently they still agree on some things, without even knowing it. lol!)
what we did is cut the dinner. Without have a per head price stressing us out, we can now invite who we want and not worry too much. even if people no-show! we’re just doing limited bar, appys and desserts. evening ceremony, after dinner.
but if your parents are paying for the reception, you can’t stress TOO much. but i know the feeling of wanting an intimate wedding, where you know and love everyone there. at this point though, i’ve just accepted that there will be family there that I’m not too close to. and people can still RSVP no!
Post # 13
“They won’t come, but most will send a gift.”
In my case this was not true. They are not coming, and they are also not sending a gift. I’m a little mad I was talked into inviting them, because I feel like I wasted the cost of the invitation and stamp.