- 4 years ago
I think people forget that prior to getting married you have hundreds of people talking in your ear about the wedding, and preparing events. I didn’t want to call everything off, after spending 30K+ on our wedding and 20K on our honeymoon, if it was just a fleeting feeling, and potentially ruin our lives.
First off you’re on the Weddingbee…I doubt anyone here has forgotten what it’s like to be planning a wedding! Second, you have now spent the $50k, not to mention made vows, so okay, maybe you’re sure it’s not just a fleeting feeling two months in, but even so, why not work on repairing the marriage? Why not at least, as a pp suggested, give it six months and go to counseling?
If this is truly irreparable, then you should do yourself and your husband a favor and leave, but it just seems like you’re giving up so easily. What strikes me and many others from your posts is that you have this habit for years now of always looking forward to the next thing. Seriously, read what you wrote: “I was always the one in pursuit and never had the opportunity to really think and ask why he was such an amazing person, and more so an amazing person for me.”
You need to figure out why you were so focused on the pursuit, for SIX YEARS, that you never gave yourself the opportunity to ponder whether this guy is really the one for you (and I say “gave yourself” because this is something you have to do YOURSELF, you dont’ just sit back and wait for an “opportunity” like this to land in your lap, you make it happen!).
This is a really unhealthy pattern…being so focused on the next milestone that you don’t take time to look at your life as it is, and to enjoy your life as it is in the present. And it’s a pattern you need to break, I think, before you can ever really find contentment, both with yourself and in any relationship.