(Closed) Doubts about getting married to my fiancé

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
  • poll: What should i do?
    Call off the engagement? : (54 votes)
    98 %
    Get married to my fiancé? : (1 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    701 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2017

    Nope, don’t marry this guy 

    Post # 3
    Member
    352 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Why would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone you don’t have feelings for? It doesn’t matter how much he says he loves you, how “great of a guy” he is, etc. If you don’t feel love/attraction/passion towards him, he’s not the guy you should marry.

    Post # 4
    Member
    533 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

    I don’t think anybody should settle at any age but definitely not at 22 years old! Wait to meet somebody you truly love and are compatible with. Marriage is a lifetime commitment. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    Wow, there’s a lot to unpack here. First, why did you get engaged to him in the first place if you had never talked before and didn’t know each other? Is this cultural for you? I feel like the answer to this would affect a lot of my thoughts..

    Post # 7
    Member
    9528 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    1. Why did his family propose?

    2. You already answered your own question when you said he isn’t attractive and not intullectual.

    3. You don’t want to marry him 

    is this an arranged marriage? There are so any red flags. It isn’t fair to him for you to commit to him when you obviously don’t want to

    Post # 8
    Member
    75 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    This sounds like an arranged marriage, right? I ask because I’ve seen many of my cousins, daughters of family friends, etc., go through these situations and if you’re having this many doubts this early on, it’s not a good sign. If you’re not in love with him, don’t enjoy talking to him, feel superior, do not enjoy his company, and are not attracted to him, what sort of foundation will your marriage have? He may make a good partner, may care for you and treat you well and make a good father some day, but is this enough for you? Or will you always wonder what life would be like with someone you truly wanted to marry?

    I grew up in a similar culture and saw many of my family members take the path of least resistance and agree to marry guys that were great on paper because that’s what was expected of them. They’re living comfortable lives now, but I think if you asked them, they would all tell you not to marry someone you don’t love. I’ve seen how envious they are of their friends, family, etc., who are marrying guys they truly connect with.

    You are still so young, there is absolutely no need to settle because it’s what’s expected or the norm.

    Post # 9
    Member
    929 posts
    Busy bee

    Was this an arranged proposal by your family? So you did not start dating him initially because you liked him and thought you may have things in common to form a relationship? That would make the physical and emotional attraction to him difficult for sure if you didnt know him before you were engaged.  I do not think you should marry that man. You should be in love with the person of whom you are to spend your life with.

    Post # 10
    Member
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    sk13579 :  Hugs, that sounds difficult. Are your parents opposed to the idea of you calling off the engagement? 

    Regardless, I still think that you deserve to be with someone you adore and who you can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with. Calling things off would also give your current fiance the chance to find someone who can fall in love with him as well. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    480 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    Don’t do it.

    Post # 13
    Member
    262 posts
    Helper bee

    Is there a possibility of holding off or postponing the wedding so you have more time to think about this? You can just say that you realised that you’re rushing things and would like more time to get to know your fiance. 

    Is there ANYTHING your fiance can do to make you feel differently? You could ask him to share in some of your hobbies if that would help.

    Otherwise – if nothing can help, then don’t marry him. You’ll only start to resent him – can you spend your next 60 years with him? Remember you only have one life on this world and you shouldn’t worry what other people will think – they are not YOU and they are not the one that has to live with this guy.

    Post # 14
    Member
    262 posts
    Helper bee

    sk13579 :  Is it worth the risk to wait to fall in love? I don’t think so – but you could hold off the wedding for longer to allow more time if you want to try.

    The topic ‘Doubts about getting married to my fiancé’ is closed to new replies.

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