(Closed) Doubts, anyone?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Um, I think doubts are normal to an extent.  I doubt everything I do.  I’m an incredably indecisive person.  I am terrified to get married in general, but I have no reasons to think that my Fiance will be anything but a great husband. 

If you’re concerned about something in particular (like his unemployment, or lack of _____________), you should make sure to clear this up prior to the big day.  Either that, or question yourself as to whether it’s something you can deal with for a lifetime. 

Post # 4
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I think there is a difference between normal doubts about a relationship, fear of marriage, etc, and the kind of feelings you’re having. I think most of us would be bothered if our FIs were unemployed that long and not 100% invested in getting a job, and for good reason! As @virginiamarie pointed out, think about how you would feel if the current situation continued forever. I’m guessing you would not want to sign up for that. Getting married when there is a huge, ongoing, unresolved issue in the relationship is not the best idea, and I would make it clear to Fiance that it needs to get resolved in the next couple of months so that the relationship can continue. 

I’m wondering, how long have you known FI? Is he generally not an ambitious person? Also, how are you paying for the wedding if he’s not working? 

 

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