Doulas

posted 2 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 2
Member
7062 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’m a doula (so I’m a bit biased) but I absolutely advocate for women to have them! They are there to support you but ALSO they can be a really valuable support for your partner (especially if this is their first child and/or they don’t really know how to support you in labor). They can help you stay focused in the altered state that you enter while you are laboring, they help everyone remember (and stick to) your birth plan, they also can be really great about asking questions that help you/your partner make decisions during labor and enforcing your boundaries about guests/visitors in the room (especially helpful for folks who have boundary stomping relatives). The lights and talking and beeping and testing that can happen during hospital labor can keep your frontal lobe activated when you really want to be dropping into a more expansive, present state so that you can open and release your baby to the world.

The only cons (imo) can be price and if you get a doula who isn’t great or who you aren’t vibing with during labor (sometimes it happens that people you love usually get on your VERY LAST NERVE during labor), but that’s true of anyone on your birth team.

Post # 3
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I had a doula during my first pregnancy. My doula was so wonderful and answered all my questions and calmed my fear. Honestly with my first pregnancy i had so many questions and it’s nice to have someone to turn to right away instead of waiting till my prenatal appointment. Really my doula was my epidural during labour. She coached me through labour. I had very bad backpain during labout and she knew exactly how to give me a massage to help with the pain. 

I was able to stick with my birth plan. I had a natural birth, no epidual and no other medical interventions. In fact, we went to the hospital and after 4 hours i gave birth to my daughter. Everyone was so surprised how quick my labour was especially with first pregnancy. I had a very good birth experience. I think what really helped was definitely having a doula, and i was very empowered with good birth stories. I highly recommend Ina May’s Guide To Child Birth book. They provide empowering stories about birth. A lot of women go into labour with fear. And fear actually heightens pain. When you go into labour with confidence and trust in your body, your body will do what it needs to do to bring your baby to this world.

Sorry i went offtrack haha. I’m very passionate about this. It breaks my heart when i hear other women who have a traumatic birth exprience. Of course there are exceptions to high risk births where you will need medical interventions. I think medical interventions are necessary when there’s a need. It should not be a standard for every single birth. 

To go back to our topic, i highly defnitely recommend a doula. They provide you with very good coping techniques. I’m currently pregnant with number 2 and will get the same doula for this one. 

Post # 4
Member
800 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

If you think you want one, you’ll probably enjoy having one (that’s my very basic take on it). I don’t think they’re something that everyone wants and then some people need to be talked out of. I’m sure they’re extremely useful for people who want that kind of support. 

Post # 5
Member
8982 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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jeweledbeauty :  I think it depends entirely on your ability to advocate for yourself or have a partner who will do it for you. It also depends on how in sync you are with your care providers. My husband was a champion birth partner and everything in my birth plan was SOP with my hospital so I felt comfortable not having a doula (although I did consider it). The only time I really had to speak up for myself was when I arrived at the hospital – the triage nurse thought I was being overly dramatic because I hadn’t been in labor “long enough” to be as far along as I actually was and she wasn’t going to interrupt the midwife who was with another patient unless I agreed to an induction to speed things up. I let her have it and she got the midwife. And I was right – the midwife came in and goes “wtf are you talking about induction I can already feel the head!” My kid was born 15 minutes later. In my experience all politeness and modesty goes out the window when there is a head in your vagina and I wouldn’t have needed anyone else to speak up for me.

Post # 6
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

oh i met with a few doulas before decided on the one the i had. You need to find someone who you click with and understand you. 

Post # 7
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I’m 17 weeks pregnant and we have a doula. We decided to hire one because I really want my labour and birth to be as positive as possible. For lots of reasons (I have anxiety and have had a traumatic past) I was really worried about giving birth. We found a doula who we love; she is helping my husband to feel more confident about supporting me and I actually look forward to the big day. It’s an expensive service that we’re having to budget for, but our doula is worth her weight in gold.

Post # 8
Member
1450 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

I’m not even close to TTC (probably still 1.5-2 years until we’ll start) but OMG the advice you ladies have given here has been so helpful.  I’m not horrified of childbirth, but I AM horrified of terribly unhelpful people who scare pregnant women, either on purpose to get them to induce or something or accidentally with terrible birth stories.  I didn’t know much about doulas but it sounds like having one is exactly what I would need to relax a bit.  So thanks!

Post # 9
Member
8982 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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hickoryhills :  if you can’t afford a doula (since they aren’t covered by insurance) I would look into midwives as well. My hospital offers a midwife and an OB practice that work together VERY well. One of my good friends is an OB and she’s the first to admit that her job isn’t to really hold your hand – it’s to help you get a healthy baby out of your body and move on to the next patient. Nurses and midwives are more focused on your mental health and emotional wellbeing in addition to the clinical care. 

Post # 10
Member
1450 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

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LilliV :  Thank you!  I will certainly keep both in mind.  My best friend had a HORRIBLE experience with the doctors at her hospital with her first daughter and ever since I heard her story I’ve just been dreading the experience.

Post # 11
Member
8982 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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hickoryhills :  if you have a choice of hospitals make sure to talk to local moms and get feedback on each. I’m in Boston and Brigham and Women’s is well known for being an amazing hospital – if you or your baby are high risk you definitely want to be there. They save lives that other hospitals just wouldn’t be equipped to. That said – my girlfriend gave birth to a very sick baby 8 weeks early (emergency c) and not a single.fucking.person in that entire system asked her about her mental health. The all lived, her daughter received absolutely amazing care and top notch doctors, but she was a first time mom that just had a horribly traumatic experience and really needed a professional to stop and say “how are YOU? How are you handling all this?” because it’s a lot. 

Post # 12
Member
9524 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Didn’t have a birth doula (I was actually adamant about not having one), but we had a postpartum doula for a little bit and she was invaluable.

Post # 13
Member
488 posts
Helper bee

For those of you who had doulas (if I can derail for a moment), would you mind sharing how much they cost? I’m definitely interested, but have a limited budget.

Post # 14
Member
196 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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bethio :  the one we are hiring is costing $3,600, plus $48/hour for post partum. We are in Los Angeles 

Post # 15
Member
550 posts
Busy bee

Still TTC but in my area (NC), it’s about $1000. 

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bethio :  

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