(Closed) Down a bridesmaid

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I ask someone else?
    Yes : (6 votes)
    20 %
    No : (22 votes)
    73 %
    Take my brother up on his offer and ditch a groomsman : (2 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    8353 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I don’t understand why, if she is still your friend and “like another sister” to you, you don’t keep her in the bridal party. I am sure that both her and your brother are grown up enough to be civil during your ceremony and reception.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5993 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    as your wedding isnt until Sept next year i would give it some time before making a decision

    as they were long term they might get back together – if it was a long term relationship then maybe this is a time out for them/him/her to sort out if they are going to take the next step or break up for good

     

    Post # 6
    Member
    7296 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    i say no to asking someone else. i understand that even numbers are important. but even if they don’t get back together, maybe enough time will have passed so that your brother won’t be uncomfortable. i also wouldn’t say anything to her right now. i am guessing since the break up is fresh, your wedding is not on the top of her mind. she might very well step down on her own and that would be the easiest thing for you since it would be her choice and you can reasonably ask someone else without them offended for being second choice.  maybe even wait 1 – 2 months before talking to her about if she doesnt say something first. that still leaves lots of time to figure out dresses. and i would definitely not take your brother on  his offer. he is probably hurting now too. but imagine the wedding day comes and both are present and totally fine with everything, just unfortunately not standing up with you.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1480 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    @dynamic_duo: I agree with this advice. There’s no reason to make the decision now, I would at least give her some time to recover from the break up before approaching her about this.

    Post # 8
    Member
    11 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I agree with Jayce.

    I have a sister that I do not trust  because she messed up my other sisters wedding and made a mockery of her own. I previously asked her to be a bridesmaid and I retracted the offer, however now I have a groomsman that I need to “demote”. I don’t like the odd numbers also, bt mostly because I don’t trust her. It is your day, you do have some time but if you don’t want someone to be upset, maybe you can talk to these two and vocalize your concerns. Maybe they might put you at ease. Good luck!!

    Post # 9
    Member
    988 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    My thoughts are that although she has felt like a sister during the time she was with your brother, it’s likely that over the months/years you wlill probably grow apart (and photos last forever!).  Therefore I can understand you wanting to not have her in the bridal party anymore.

    I’d be inclined to ask another friend – true friends will understand and be happy to help you out.  At the same time, if you can’t find anyone appropriate, I wouldn’t stress about the uneven numbers as it really doesn’t matter on the day!  I’d definitely keep your brother in the bridal party. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    576 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @nqz100: Your wedding is in September?  That’s 10 months away.  If it bothers you that much, I don’t think it’s too late at all to ask someone new although personally, I would just leave the numbers uneven if it comes to that.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3364 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Totally wait it out! Dont stress it until you have to! Like others said, they could always get back together, you remember that dating game dont ya!?! lol Hope it works out for everyone in your situation! 

    Post # 13
    Member
    291 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I’m reviving this thread because basically the samething just happened with my brother and his long term gf / my bridesmaid. Only difference is I only have 5 months to the wedding. I would not be as concerned except for the fact that I had only asked 3 girls to begin with, now down to 2 so I feel like I want more. 

    OP, what did you end up doing?

    Does anyone else have advice to add?

    The topic ‘Down a bridesmaid’ is closed to new replies.

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