Post # 1
I don’t post this to cause a riff or a tide, I’m just curious. I know people who would NOT be able to deal/want a down syndrome child. I’m pregnant and the thought constantly crosses my mind on what I would do if in my U/S showed DS.
I saw a little down syndrome boy the other night. He was maybe two and Darling Husband was playing peekaboo with him. I then realized I would love him/her just the same as my Dirty Delete.
I’m not here to judge because again some of my friends would terminate a DS baby.
What would you do?
I added a poll for people to be private.
Post # 4
Hard question, until recently I may have said abort. However, I recently discovered this amazing blog which gave me new wonderful insite. If you haven’t seen it you absolutely must look now. Amazing pics, a wonderful story that will tear your heart out and then put in a new bigger one. Get ready for tears 🙂
Post # 5
I would keep the baby. When I was pregnant we actually decided against that screening because it wouldn’t have changed how much we already loved & wanted our baby.
Post # 6
Wow. I am surprised so many people would terminate.
If you spend time with a DS child you will realize that they are just, if not more, loving than other children. There are so many people out there struggling to have kids why would you deny the life given to you just for that reason? What if your non-DS kid ends up a drug addict, a murderer, etc? Would you not want them either?
Post # 7
I would also keep the baby. This is the reason we chose not to have any screening done. Regardless of what the result would have shown, we would have chose to keep the baby, so we felt htere was no reason to get ourselves worked up about something we could not change.
Post # 8
I didn’t vote because I’m honestly not sure what I would do. My Fiance has an uncle with Downs so we see first hand the how people’s lives can be affected by it. His uncle is high functioning (has a small job, speech is fine, and can do most things himself) but still can’t live alone, so FI’s grandmother must take care of him. Even though he is high functioning you can see the difficulties in caring for a person with Downs. I’ve also seen some people with DS that can barely function and you can tell that, while the parents love their kids, it is extremely hard and they require constant care.
I guess I’m not sure what I would do because I get frustrated very easily and I don’t ever want to feel resentment towards my child and it scares me that dealing with a special needs child might cause this. I also think about the child’s life. My FI’s uncle for example gets frustrated because he can’t do certain things and doesn’t understand why. It’s hard to watch him struggle with trying to understand why he can’t be like everyone else.
On the other hand, I don’t know if I could bring myself to terminate a pregnacy if the issue wasn’t life threatening. (this goes for other diseases as well)
Post # 9
I can’t say with certainty, having never been in the situation, but I have the feeling I would keep the baby. Maybe it would depend on how far into the pregnancy you get the diagnosis? I actually have no idea when the screening occurs. Now, if I found out I was carrying a baby with Tay-Sachs and that kid was going to live a very short and excrutiatingly painful life then I would abort. But a DS kid can lead a happy and mostly healthy life (I know there are usually other physical complications with DS but not necessarily painful ones).
Post # 10
I’m almost 28 weeks pregnant and I feel really bad for saying it, but I’d probably terminate. The plan back when we had our 11-week scan was to terminate if the genetic tests came back with poor results . . . but I honestly don’t know if we could’ve gone through with it. Thankful we didn’t have to make that decision.
Post # 11
Very, very tough question. I truly believe I would keep the baby. I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself after the fact if I terminated the pregnancy. I’d live in constant regret and feel like I am the worst person ever, I’m pretty sure. But that’s just me, each person knows what they can and can’t handle and have to make their own choices. I feel like as parents, Darling Husband and I would love our children unconditionally, regardless.
Post # 12
with Down’s Syndrome the decision is really hard because every person with it is different. Some need constant care others get a college degree. I’m not sure what I would do but if it was something worse than DS I would definitely terminate.
I found this thread very interesting: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/sl93q/get_out_the_throwaways_dear_parents_of_disabled/
Post # 13
@FauxBoho: What a beautiful story. It had me in tears.
Post # 14
Definitely a tough question, but I am pretty sure we would keep the baby and give it a chance. I definitely think I would regret terminating any pregnancy. :/ Caring for a special needs child sounds extremely difficult, but I would want to give it a shot.
Post # 15
@FauxBoho: I loved that story…. Definitely a tear-jerker.
My cousin, who is one year, one week older than I am, has DS. She was my best friend growing up. We spent countless summers together playing at our grandparent’s house. She’s awesome and Ive learned so much from her!
I know that her parents really struggled and eventually got a divorce. I think that having a DS child puts a lot of stress on relationships – but I definitely dont think that its a reason to terminate. She has put so many smiles on so many faces… I cant imagine growing up without her!
Post # 16
I’m so glad I can hear everyones opinions(: Thanks for being so open!
I knew someone personally with DS and he holds a small job as well. It’s very hard for him though. It’s a life long commitment truthfully as a parent.
I asked Darling Husband and he is still up in the air about it.