- 6 years ago
- Wedding: February 2013
It’s approximately 27 days until our wedding and I am pulling together the final details now…. mostly rehashing things I already have decided on
Do I really love my earrings? (Hours of trawling etsy.com will do that to a girl)
Should I wear a necklace?
What about a bracelet?
Hair up? Hair down?
How much weight can I lose in 27 days (ridiculous I know)…. and then I have to be careful not to head into a downward spiral of negative self talk about my weight and how I never imagined getting married as a size 16-18, and how sad I didn’t manage to/make it a priority to lose weight before now.
I’m not normally a negative person, and I haven’t actually verbalised how I feel to anyone else, but the thoughts are creeping in frequently at the moment.
And while it’s not having too much of an impact on anyone other than me, it is making me pretty hyper sensitive to comments – or “helpful suggestions” – from people about what I should be doing with my appearance for the big day. Especially my size 00 mother, who has a bunch of “helpful suggestions”.
I have 27 days to get my head sorted and try and enjoy the lead up (considering there is pretty much nothing left to do, and we can relax now), and I am really concerned that I am going to find the day of – the getting ready etc – really negative and hard work…. and feeling resentful that I’ve bought into these ideals of what brides should do and look like.
And then I go apply a facemask to make sure my skin is looking good, get my eyebrows done, and apply Lilash to ensure my lashes are as good as possible for the day. A walking contradiction.
Does anyone else, or did anyone else feel like they were going mad with the pressure?
I mean I am a logical, intelligent woman… I know I’m a size 16/18 and guess what? So does everyone else who is going to my wedding because they are my friends and family and see me all the time! And my fiance loves me and he is super complimentary about how I look and my body, but the pressure is turning me into a crazy person.
Starting to wish we had eloped!