Post # 1
I always thought I would have my sister be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I have an older sister whom I love dearly, but is very…unreliable. She is just in the early stages of putting her life back together (she ran off with her loser of a boyfriend-he skipped his probation,and because she was soo in love, she dropped her whole life,home,job,friends to be with him. Just up and left, no call to her family or nothing for a good 6-8 months) and I just don’t know if I can trust her to be there for me when my day comes. My family is very forgiving, we were very upset and dissapointed with her, but, you know we love her.
And I also have two great best friends. My sister wasn’t around when I got engaged so I asked my to BFF’s to be Co-MOH. Now that my sister has been around for a bit, she is showing interest in my wedding plans, and I get the feeling that she assumes she will be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I always shy away from the subject and haven’t told her I asked my friends already. If I’m totally honest with myself, I know that my friends would understand if I asked my sister, but I just don’t want to. What if I change my sister to the Maid/Matron of Honor and then she just up and disappears again? Also, even if she doesnt disappear, she’s got so much drama in her life, that I just don’t want to deal with. I have been reading the boards and it seems that a lot of people feel obligated to ask someone to be the Maid/Matron of Honor and it turns out horribly. Anyway what do you think I should do? And if someone else has gone through something similiar, please let me know how you handled it.
Post # 3
Do what you think is best. Me personally I would just keep your friends as Maid/Matron of Honor and maybe ask your sister either to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man or just help out some where else in the wedding.
Post # 4
you should let her know she wont be the Maid/Matron of Honor so she does not assume she is and ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Dont feel obligated to include anyone that you truly dont want to include.
Post # 5
This sounds exactly like my sister. She also ran off with a boyfriend at one point and didn’t talk to my family for months. She has changed a lot lately, but still has her moments.
We were never very close, and I think a lot of it had to do with us living together at home. We both recently moved out, and get along pretty great now that we don’t live under the same roof. The thing is though, my friends were the ones who were there for me through the years, and I chose my best friend to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, even though my sister and I have gotten closer recently.
She’s still a bit unreliable, and I also don’t think she would even know where to begin with Maid/Matron of Honor duties–I think it would just be overwhelming for her, especially since she is due to have a baby any day now! I think she is just happy and excited that I asked her to be a bridesmaid.
Post # 6
I think it is rude to take yoru friend from the position when they don’t deserve it. I would just include your sister as a bridesmaid and give her the oportunity to step up and be there but know that if she does flake for whatever reason you still have your Maid/Matron of Honor there for you.
Post # 7
Just leave it as is, and officially ask her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man. She doesn’t have to be Maid/Matron of Honor, and I think it’s a bit presumptuous of her to think she is. She shouldn’t have an issue with not having that “title,” and if she does, point out to her that the point of being in the wedding is not a title, but being supportive.
Post # 8
I would keep the 2 co-MOH’s as is and ask your sis to be the Bridesmaid or Best Man. And you need to tell/ask her right away.