Post # 1
So, if you haven’t read my older posts, I’ve had a hard…. no.. terrible time finding a reception venue. I even sat with a planner/friendor for like an hour and a half calling places. Booked, too small, booked, booked, too small, booked, booked, and… what’s that one venue… BOOKED! So, I open up to the idea of venues I don’t want. BOOKED!! I mean.. really…. Oct. 16? I don’t get it. 10/16/10 nothing special about it other than apparently every reception hall is booked.
When we went to schedule the church, we went thinking the 2nd… then all of the sudden on a whim we switched to the 16th…. big mistake.
… I get engaged… I tell my Sorority sister….
… Hey, did you know ____ got engaged too? “No, when’s the wedding.” October sometime.
Now that every venue is booked my dream venue is open the 2nd… if my photographer is still open the 2nd that’s awesome, because our church is open too. It seems the only date that the stars can align is the 2nd….
.. “hey sorority sister and bridesmaid… do you know when _____’s wedding is yet?” “Ya, it’s Oct. 2.”
Of course it is! So… it wouldn’t be aweful if it wasn’t for the fact that we’re the same “generation” so to speak. If it was me and one of the younger girls that’s one thing… but I hate the thought of making people pick. And I already cut a lot of my sisters from the list but now most that I wanted to keep are this girl and 2 of her now roommates/fellow sisters who obviously will choose her wedding… and others that will choose either or will have a really hard time deciding.
But, it’s my dream venue or the church schools cafeteria. For the sake of about 15-20 guests. But, they are really VIP to me… 🙁
Oh, and we’re in the same general area. A 3 hr drive.
Post # 3
I think it boils down to considering which is more important to you on your day; where you have it, or who is there. If you can live without these guests then pick the dream venue. The other girl picked her date first so if I was someone picking I would have to go to hers. If you absolutely need to have these guests, you need to pick another date or another venue.
I know it is so frustrating when your friends are all getting engaged and married at the same time. Our choices were instantly limited when friends that we absolutely wanted at our wedding were already committed to being in 2 weddings next year!
Post # 4
Is there a reason you can only consider 2 dates? Have you thought about a different month to resolve all of these issues?
Post # 5
I agree with Lorenna – is there possibly another date maybe in September or November you could consider? I guess you have to decide which is more important in the end – having the sisters you want there or having your dream venue and date.
Post # 6
October is my dream month. As a wedding photographer, any earlier and I’ll have to turn away a LOT of business. SO is very warm bodied and any earlier he’ll melt. I am very cold bodied and any later and I’ll be so miserably cold. Obviously my photographer is important to me and he was already booked other dates… and halloween is out. My parents 30th anniversary this next year is also in Oct. so it’s also kinda in homage to them.
the girl getting married, while I love… I’m ok with her not coming. Even her roommates, it’s sad but I’d live. But… for my 3-4 girls I planned on having as bridesmaids…. while I’d like to think I’m closer to them than the other sister… I hate having to make them choose.
But, many girls live out of state so I was already stressed with the 16th for girls who would have to take time off and pay to fly to our state… TWICE in one month.
I actually did things first, but couldn’t say anything cause i didn’t have my ring. She got her ring a few days before me… and like I said, I didn’t even KNOW she got engaged and when I asked her what date she chose she still hasn’t responded to me herself….
Post # 7
The thing is… our guest list is OURS. Our parents didn’t add to it… We’re of course inviting our parents best friends, but other than that… the other 180+ guests on the list are OUR good friends and family. And save for my family and sisters, the rest are local. So I also have to take into consideration the other 180. We have a few really amazing close… see all the time… large… no… HUGE groups of friends…
Post # 8
Do you know that the other girl would ask the girls you want to be BM’s to be hers too? If not, you might just be asking them to choose between going to one wedding and being in one wedding. I understand October is your dream month and your reasons behind it – maybe the first week of November would work?
Post # 9
I agree, you’ll have to decide what is most important. I was also thinking that you should consider another date. (And yeah, if your looking for venues now, less than a year away, I’m not surprised that so many are already booked.) I can see getting stuck on deciding between the venue and the friends, particularly if the other choice is really a cafeteria. However, I’m having a hard time relating to the rigidness of an October wedding. If you get cold super easy, why not use that as a good reason to get married in the winter? Then you can go someplace warm for your honeymoon 🙂 (I get cold easy to. And I got married in the winter.)
I guess in deciding what’s most important you might want to throw the date in the mix, along with friends and venue. Also, if you were to move your date for these friends, are you sure they wouldn’t have something else come up to keep them from going?
Oct. 2nd = dream venue /no friends/dream month
Oct. 16th =cafeteria/friends (hopefully)/dream month
Another month =dream venue/friends (hopefully)/dream month
Post # 10
I think it’s also that I’ve given up my dream wedding idea (beach house reception) because the max in any house is 100. I’m about to give up my dream color scheme, we already had to give up the date we actually really wanted in OCT and had dreamed about for 2.5 years… I know weddings will not be “perfect” and not everything can happen… but so far everything IS changing… And it’s not even budget related stuff.. it’s all about my favorite word. NO.
So I guess that on top of loosing almost everything else… holding on to october and a decent venue is all I have left. 🙁
Post # 11
My dream date was going to be 9/10/11; however, when I saw the cost of the venue and vendors, I got over myself and picked a different date that is off wedding season and have saved myself a bundle and I am going to have my dream wedding because of the savings. Although it is sad to not have your first choice, it might be a blessing so that you can rethink things and get your dream wedding.
Post # 12
- Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas
You really just have to decide which is more important to you: Your date, photographer, location, etc. or having those certain friends there. It’s a tough decision, I know, and it sucks that you have to make it, but I’m sure your friends will understand if you end up having your wedding on the same day as the other girl.
Post # 14
Yeah, I have to agree with other posters, I’d just go with a different month. I understand that October is important to you for several reasons, but I don’t think pushing it to the first or second week of November would change things that much. Plus, VA can’t be THAT cold in November (as compared to the Northeast or something) so no one is going to freeze to death. Just my two cents.
Post # 15
What time is the other girl getting married? I got married on the same day as a relative/friend of some of my guests but I got married at 1:00 and she got married at 5:30 and the guests did both! 🙂
Post # 16
Also, I just want to say that Tanya123’s emoticon schematic sort of inspired my post