(Closed) Drama! Invite friend with *maybe* cheating spouse?

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Should he invite his best friend anyway?

    Yes, let them decide if they want to come or not.

    No, if they do show up it will cause unnecessary stress on your wedding day.

    Other. Please comment.

  • Post # 3
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I probably wouldn’t invite.  It seems like your Fiance and the friend are not friends anymore.

    Post # 4
    5976 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I say to invite them and let them decide whether or not to come. Would he really not want his best friend at his wedding? I understand that they’ve grown apart, but what happens if his best friend catches his wife red handed and comes back with his tail between his legs later…I think sending an invitation shows that your Fiance is still trying to make an effort, and will be there if/when things fall apart. my vote is with you!

    Post # 5
    2203 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I would invite them anyway as a last ditch effort to keep a friendship.

    Maybe they were separated (or going through rough times) and they are embarrassed that your Fiance found out. Sometimes, it’s easier to tell near-strangers (like coworkers) than to tell your closest friends that your world isn’t as perfect as you’d like it to seem.

    Maybe X heard wrong and the wife is justifiably hurt that such a rumor would be going around about her and a coworker.

    If you don’t invite them to the wedding, the friendship will most definately be lost.

    I say, put the ball in their court and they can decide how they want to proceed.

    Post # 6
    4753 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Yes the invite should go out to both of them. Leave the choice up to them.

    Post # 7
    13561 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I’d also invite. It might help, but it can’t hurt.

    Post # 9
    7172 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I would invite them based on your FI’s friendship with his friend.  If the wife has issues and is stepping out on him, then it’s up to FI’s friend to decide how to handle the issues within his marriage.  To not invite them seems really strange to me.  Meaning – it’s not your FI’s friend’s fault his wife is straying or lying about the status of their marriage.  Why should his friendship with your Fiance suffer because of it?

    Post # 10
    858 posts
    Busy bee

    ok I guess I will be the one to say it, this is your FI’s day and if he doesnt want any drama and doesnt want to invite them then there you go. I am amazed at how many people always tell the bride/groom to do things they dont want to do “just because”, my feelings are the hell with other people. you get one day and life is way too short to be unhappy on your special day. That being said could you hold a STD for a little while and see if your SO changes his mind? I also have to say good for him for doing the right thing so many people turn a blind eye to that sort of thing. He was being a better friend then his best friend will ever know. It takes a true best friend to tell you the truth 100% of the time even if it hurts

    Post # 12
    907 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Invite them and stay out of it.

    Post # 13
    858 posts
    Busy bee

    It could get to the point where he cant turn his back on the truth anymore and one day be happy your Fiance told him so I wouldnt write the friendship off forever even if you do invite them they might not come but atleast your Fiance can say he tried. She cant hide it forever its going to come back to bite her at some point

    Post # 14
    1359 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Honestly, even if she is guilty, if this is your FI’s best friend we’re talking about I wouldn’t let the relationship die without a fight. Lie if you have to. I’d have your Fiance contact the friend’s wife/contact his friend and see if he can meet with his wife. Go to her and say something like, “I’m so sorry if you thought I was trying to break your marriage up, I wasn’t at all. I love you guys together and I just felt it was my duty as his best friend to tell you what was being said about you two so you can deal with it. I really want both of you to stay in my life.”


    Just butter her up. Your Fiance and his friend can stay friends, and if she is cheating, they’ll break up one day and Fiance will be right there to support his friend. Don’t let the wife bully her husband out of having friends, too.


    So do all that and THEN invite them. Lol.

    Post # 15
    7365 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Its your FH’s call. If he doesn’t think its the best idea go with that. He stuck his nose in something (with good intensions) and got burned. This was a predictable outcome. Since he caused this situation, its up to him to fix in any manner he deems fit.

    Post # 16
    2546 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I would do whatever your fiance wants to do. It is his friend, and should be his decision.

    As for whether or not this lady is guilty, hs absolutely nothing to do with this situation. Of course the guy is going to side with his wife, that is his wife. I’m sure if you know the truth, so does he. Maybe it is just extremely awkward for them, since their dirty laundry has been aired.

    I don’t think your fiance was in the wrong to say anything, but I do think these are the consequences to such decisions.

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