(Closed) Drama is beginning to unfold

posted 11 years ago in 20 Something
  • poll: Should I be less worried about myself and more concerned for my friends' weddings?

    Yes

    No

  • Post # 31
    Member
    1668 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @Linz1231: LMAO @ “I was 6.”

    Post # 32
    Member
    1337 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I can’t imagine having that many close friends at any age – exhausting! 😉

    It’s not a terrible thing to get out there and focus on YOU while you’re in the best place and easiest time to do so.  You don’t have to get married because you’ve been together for 4 years – especially when (sorry to be blunt, but) all of those years you’ve legally been a child. You don’t have to get married just because you love someone. You have plenty of time – enjoy it. And take some time to think about why you want to get married – or if you are just “itching for a ring on your left hand”

    Post # 33
    Member
    378 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I am marrying my HS sweetheart. We have been dating for 10 years and first starting dating when we were 15, I’m 25 now. I think that if it is right, then there is no reason not to wait for a while. You seem to have ‘grown together’ and this will only continue without the pressure of an e-ring and marriage. We were able to still be together, but did our own things and were able to experience a lot of different things. I would just say that waiting for a little while will never hurt anything. Hope everything works out for you. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    590 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @gabrielleelise1981: so true! i don’t even know 16 people that would ask me to be in their wedding.

    View original reply
    @brightoctober: look, you admittedly sound pretty mature for an 18 year old, but so was i. that didn’t mean that i wasn’t still totally immature compared to myself now, almost 10 years later. i think most of us on here remember being totally in love at the age of 18, but most of us aren’t still with that person. i’m not saying that it can’t or won’t work out…but it might not. there are other things you can do in the meantime. have you two moved in together yet? have you discussed marriage yet?

    i know a couple people in their late 20s/early 30s who are divorced, because they married a high school sweetheart. they all wish they had waited.

    Post # 35
    Member
    590 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    @peaches1038: btw i didn’t mean to imply you shouldn’t marry your HS sweetheart…i just meant that they married right out of HS and didn’t wait like you did. just saw that you wrote that and didn’t want you to take it the wrong way!

    Post # 36
    Member
    139 posts
    Blushing bee

    For me, I knew I was ready when getting married didn’t matter anymore.  We knew we were going to be together forever (with or without rings) and at that point marriage just became a piece of paper, a tax break and the ability to procreate without judgement 🙂

    Post # 37
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @JsDragonfly: While I definitely understand what you’re saying, I wish so many people didn’t think of 25 as some kind of “cut-off” date for being old enough to marry. To me, it’s all about the emotional maturity of two people.

    I try not to be too defensive about this, because I’m 23 and my Fiance will be 27 when we get married. But we both have college degrees, very stable jobs, a house, and the understanding that marriage is not all puppies and butterflies – so while yes, I am “young,” I’m not a child and I don’t feel “too young” to get married.

    In my opinion, if you have to ask people “Is X age too young to get married?” then you aren’t ready. I know 18 year olds who probably would be responsible enough to get married (and by the way, with all she’s accomplished so far, @brightoctober might be one of them) and I know 30 year olds who are nowhere close. 18 does sound too young to me, but it’s all relative to commitment and maturity.

    Post # 38
    Member
    215 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    18 is very young to get married. There was no way at 18 I was ready to be a wife. It’s a huge responsibility and most people change between the ages of 18 and 25. Have you even graduated high school? Go to college and get your education and then concentrate on a serious relationship.

    Post # 39
    Member
    1529 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Mature or not, 18 is too young to get married. To not even have been an adult for a full year? I just don’t get why one would do that.

    Post # 40
    Member
    1369 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    i can only speak for myself at 18… i was not ready to be married. not to my then bf. not to anyone.

    i’m the first of my close group of friends to get married and i just turned 27 a month before our wedding. i can’t imagine what it’d be like to be 18 and having all of my friends getting married.

    regardless, it’s all dependent on each situation. i just know that for myself, 18 was too young to consider marriage.

    Post # 41
    Member
    181 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    A few things I want to voice: First, I generally agree with what most people are saying here, and I definitely think you may want to just step back and take a breath and realize that, regardless of if there is a ring on your finger or not, you and your boyfriend are together and in love and seem to have a pretty good idea of where you want your relationship to go.

    Second, two of my good friends got married to each other when they were 19/20 and have been together for 6 years now and are happier than ever; she was from Ohio (like you), he from Oklahoma. Something is to be said for family and local ‘tradition’ (this may or may not apply to you), and it really wasn’t so crazy for them to get engaged at 18 after only a year of dating. I think they are incredibly lucky that it has worked out, but I do believe that it can. As long as you do it for the right reasons, you know?

    Also, a very petty thing but I have to agree with katNYC2011.. one of the big things my friends disliked about getting married so young was that they couldn’t even celebrate with a glass of champagne! Silly, but nice to be able to do :))

    Post # 42
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @plantains: I should clarify. I definitely think 18 is too young to actually get married. An exceptionally mature 18 year old might be responsible enough to be “ready for marriage.” (Please no one crucify me, I would never encourage it – but it’s just my opinion that it’s possible).

    But being ready for something and actually doing it are two totally different things. The main point I was making is if you’re asking “am I too young?” then you are.

    Post # 43
    Member
    234 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I do know people who have gotten married at 18 and are fine (so far, 8 years and counting).  They did wait to have kids for awhile though.  For me, the real problem is wanting to be married because all of your friends are getting married.  It is a completely reasonable and normal feeling- I have felt that way myself, but it isn’t a good reason to get married. 

    Post # 44
    Member
    144 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    If you have to ask a board of total strangers if 18 is too young to marry, then it is. 

    And I hardly believe you finished 4 years of college while still in high school.  My son is in high school and, because his high school is affiliated with a college of the same name, the senior Math, Lit, Science, and History classes are worth college credit if your grades are up to par.  But it taks more than 4 classes to get through 4  years of college.  So, I’m not buying that.  Sorry.

    With a 4 yr. college degree, I think you’d have a better job than David’s bridal. 

     

    Post # 45
    Member
    133 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @LacrosseBride: That’s a little snarky. A lot of recent college grads have to take jobs that might not be stellar because of the economy right now. A friend of mine has a masters degree in psychology and is still bartending because she can’t get a good job in her field. Another friend is a receptionist at a company, just to get her foot in the door. It’s a very tough job market out there.

    I agree that it’s pretty hard to believe someone finished college while still in high school. But no need to be rude about where she’s employed (and no, I don’t work for David’s Bridal. I have a corporate sales position. Just sticking up for any college grads out there who don’t have their dream job just yet Smile)

    The topic ‘Drama is beginning to unfold’ is closed to new replies.

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