(Closed) Drama Wedding; Am I an Ass?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@ohheavenlyday: I’d say you have lots of reasons to be uneasy about the situation. 

Has anyone suggested they go to marriage counseling before they continue with the wedding?  This might help with everyone’s unease as well as the situation.  It’s impossible to tell if this on again/off again could be from outside intrusion or if it’s how she subconsciously thinks a relationship should be (due to your mentioning her parents are the same way… unless I misread, then my apologies!). 

I’d say just wait and see how it goes and not worry about her wedding. 

good luck!!! and hopefully she’ll wait a while before going through with it!

Post # 4
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Considering the circumstances, even if your weddings are very close, if most of the family feels as you do, the feeling at yours will be incredibly different (joy, excitement, happiness) than at hers (apprehension, people feeling like they’re making the best of a bad situation).  I really doubt this could overshadow your happy day.  It may just make it stand out more in contrast.  In fact, it would be to her benefit not to schedule closely to yours because she might notice the difference. 

Maybe it’s bad to say, but there’s just a different feeling at a wedding where you know the couple is perfect for each other than one where most people are wondering why they’re getting married.

But I understand where you’re at – I hope for you that she picks 2012 as well.

Post # 6
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

Will the parents pay for the wedding? It sounds like they arent on great terms.

Honestly, I hope her parents encourage her and her fiance to date for more time. Theres no reason to rush things when they have had such a rocky relationship.

Post # 7
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Some people are just really thick headed about relationships. And because you’re not in the relationship, it’s really hard to know what’s going on. I’d be there for her – support her. If this one goes sour too, don’t be right along with the crowd saying “I told you so”.

Post # 8
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@ohheavenlyday: ahhhhh… I know a few people like that.  I also know one who married simply because ‘it was the honorable thing to do’. 

It’s not the best situation for anyone to be in, but unfortunately, the more she’s told to NOT marry him or be with him, the more she will (speaking from experience, too, lol).  A longer engagement might iron out the wrinkles, or it could make her realize what an idiot she is.  Who knows? 

It sucks for everyone involved, but I doubt it will affect your wedding in a bad way.  If they come to yours, don’t ostrasize the poor fellow, since he’s gonna be a part of the family… at least for now.  (Just throw the pair into the back corner, lol.  joking! I’m joking!)

good luck!!!!

Post # 9
Member
223 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

“the more she’s told to NOT marry him or be with him, the more she will” – exactamundo.

I’d encourage them to have a long engagement (and hope they break up again, for good).

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