(Closed) Drama with FI’s former best friend

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

If he’s your fiance’s friend, why do you need to be friends with him? Sounds like you just rubbed him the wrong way and he doesn’t particularly care you be your facebook friend. Who cares? I don’t get along with one of my husband’s good friends but I wouldn’t expect him to drop his friend on my behalf. I have my friends and he has his and that’s that. Sometimes adults who don’t mesh well just have to chalk it up to one of those things and call it a day. You’re over dramatizing a little here.

Post # 4
Member
6021 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

@2bMrsG: ok ill be honest here, I think this is very silly. I know thats not what you want to hear at the moment but I had to kind of ask myself “really? over being deleted over facebook?” . and if it is over his friend who doesnt seem to be much of a friend these days, not liking you I would still say it all sounds very silly. I mean over a charge for a piggy bank is why he wouldnt like you? unless there is more to this? Idk. bottom line, I wouldnt dwell on something so trivial. If his friend doesnt like you and your Fiance has already said you come first I would leave it at that and let the friend feel however he wants. Your Fiance is what matters and he has obviously chosen you. And as far as him sticking up for you, I dont think there is anything for him to stick up for here. what is he going to do? say “hey it was rude that you deleted my fiance on facebook over the piggy bank”. again unless i missed something and he was really disrespectful to you in some other way. Am i missing part of the story here?

Post # 6
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I agree with PPs. YOU don’t need to be friends with him, but it would be nice, right? I would just have your Fiance tell him that its not cool that he acts that way towards you, and he needs to respect you as his future wife. 

Post # 7
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think what he did was pretty immature – I mean, an adult deleting his friend’s fiancee? It’s a bit immature and silly. It does seem like it created unnecessary drama. However, it’s just facebook and you don’t have to be friends with him ever if you don’t want to be.

I don’t think your Fiance should “have” to stop talking to this guy, whom you say he doesn’t talk to very much anyways, because of it though. I think it was silly of the guy honestly, but it happens. Just let it play out. Your Fiance doesn’t have to have some massive dramatic throwdown with the guy over something that is admittedly kind of dumb. If I were you, I’d just let it go. Let it play itself out and see what happens.

As far as your other question, no I don’t get along great with all of FI’s friends. His best friend is kind of (read: really) immature for his age (which happens to be one of my pet peeves.) It doesn’t mean I dislike this guy or that I think he’s terrible or I’m not going to be casual acquaintances with him. Fiance can still be friends with him because he’s an adult and so am I.

It’ll be okay. Don’t make this more dramatic than it needs to be. To me, it seems he did it for the drama anyways. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

Post # 9
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@2bMrsG: Ok, what really bothers you more here. The fact that this random person (who you don’t really know and who isn’t that great friends with your SO) doesn’t like you, or that your SO isn’t readily dropping him as a friend because you want him to? If you feel he’s gotten the wrong impression of you, wouldn’t it be somewhat more mature to say “Sorry if I’ve offended you, I hope we can all get to know each other better in the future” rather than to make such a big deal out of this and tell your fiance to stop talking to the guy? That can be viewed as very controlling, even if that is not your intention.

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