(Closed) Drama with My SO’s Brother and Wife

posted 7 years ago in South East Asian
Post # 3
Member
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

When you respond to her, do it in front of others.  Something simply along the lines of “The comments you make about my wedding are hurtful and maybe give here a few examples.  I know you don’t mean to be hurtful.  I’d appreciate it if you would stop.” Say it in front of several others so there will be no chance for her to retell her version of the story with a different twist and she will have no choice but to respond with an apology and hopefully she has the self control to stop.  

Post # 4
Member
868 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I have to respectfully disagree.  I feel as if she is doing this to ellicit a response from you, but it has nothing to do with you.  It is about her own feelings about her own wedding and her own insecurities.  I wouldn’t entertain her silly comments.  In fact, the next time she says something snarky, I would simply tell her exactly that.  I would say “You know what?  You had YOUR day, but this is MY day and if you don’t have anything nice to say then I would appreciate it if you didn’t say anything at all”

If she continues, simply discontinue communication with her.  She’s not worth the stress.

Post # 5
Member
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

She’s obviously trying to get a rise out of you and in the process is making herself look like a jealous, catty bitch. She’s doing it for the same reason that bullies do it in high school, because she’s insecure.

Honestly, just ignore her. She isn’t worth the stress and aggravation.

Post # 6
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

OMG sounds like my husbands sister in law as well! She did a similar thing to me. It was hard to say anything in front of everyone to her because I didn’t want to seem like I was starting trouble. It got so bad and she threatened to come over to my house and punch my face in just because I asked her nicely if her daughters which was the flower girls could come to my house to get their hair done….. So I gave it back to her… and then she went up to my husband and said that everything was my fault. I know she was trying to get me upset… but seriously it was just sad of her.. She brought that up one day and I was like “Yeah I know and?” She wasn’t smiling because she honestly thought that I would get upset.

Anyway, I had a nice word to my Mother-In-Law and told her that she needed to intervene if she wanted a happy family, because like your SIL mine had no family.

If I would do it all again after the first … AND I did. AND we didn’t invite them and it was the best WEDDING EVER!!

If I were you, I would lose their invitation. Otherwise you can only do one thing to set it straight….

 

BUT YOU MUST DO IT…even if everyone gets upset… this is your day and NO ONE else gives a s*** as much as you do.

You have to say straight out maybe when everyone is eating dinner or when you’re Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law is there and say exactly this “I have decided, that I am not inviting _____ because she belittles me and I am not going to tolerate it anymore.” At least this way they know that you’re serious.

 

Post # 7
Member
244 posts
Helper bee

well, if she says that’s so expensive… maybe just say you know, but your wedding is worth it 😉 or if you hear her say something behind your back, just speak up and say oh, no -insert truth here- so you’re not really being catty but you are speaking up.  🙂

Post # 8
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Stop telling her how much things cost. If she asks just say, “That’s between Fiance and I. Why do you ask?” If she makes a snarky comment like that must mean it’s expensive, I’d add on, “Nope, it just means I’m not comfortable sharing our budget with other people, it seems kinda rude.” I would also have your Fiance say something to his brother about how she needs to stop being so nasty to you, and that if someone was treating his wife that way he would want them to stop, and he needs to give that same respect towards you and your Fiance.

Post # 10
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Olive12: Good luck! You mentioned hoping your Future Mother-In-Law will step in…could your Fiance ask her to? Maybe big brother would be more willing to listen if it was coming from her?

Post # 11
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

The other thing that I did, was I asked to speak to her privately in a room at my inlaws house, but don’t close the door. Confront her and I am pretty sure she’ll lose it. Everyone will her lose it, you’re setting her straight. Inlaws know this, but you have to keep really calm. Be extra nice tell her if she has anything to say to say it to your face. That the wedding is none of her business. Stay calm.

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