Drank too much at my wedding, feeling anxious and regretful

posted 1 month ago in Wedding Related
Post # 16
10388 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

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Sounds to me like a bit of post wedding anticlimax rather than serious blackout stuff. You clearly behaved normally and happily even if you had a bit too much. As many pps have said, it all passing in a blur with bits missing is a function of the day itself, not necessarily due to alcohol.  I mean, think of past holidays, it never ceases to amaze me how soon the best of them becomes a dreamlike thing once you are home again. 

You were deeply engaged in the minutiae and decision making of planning ,culminating in what sounded like a huge and satisfying and successful day and now it is over, it’s almost like you lost your job lol. Please don’t waste your emotional time and energy and, incidentally probably making your new husband upset and worried for you. You don’t want him to feel a failure now do you ? 

Everytime you start thinking about the missing bits, resolutely turn your thought to some other aspects. Recall the flowers, or the first married kiss, anything. This anti climactic thing too will pass. 

Post # 17
1671 posts
Bumble bee

I live in Australia and this is normal. 

Lol jokes aside, OP try not to beat yourself up about it! Irs not like you embarrassed yourself. As others have said, much of my wedding was a blur and I barely drank at all. It’s such an overwhelming day and so busy that you wouldn’t remember it all anyway. Hugs. xoxoxo 

Post # 18
3940 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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@sb1993:  I was stone cold sober at my wedding and six years later, I only remember vague details. I’d just let it go. It is what it is at this point. Enjoy the photos and video if you have them. 

Post # 19
825 posts
Busy bee

Don’t stress! I think that even when you’re 100% sober parts of the night will feel like blur. I definitely drank more than average at my wedding and had the best time ever, that’s the only thing that matters! 

Post # 20
1197 posts
Bumble bee

As many have noted– I was sober at my wedding (I do drink, but I was so busy I didn’t get a chance) and its a complete blur. I remember almost nothing. It’s a busy time with so many things pulling you in different directions, I expect everyone has that experience! 

I suspect that (if you are anything like my husband, who did our wedding planning) part of what makes it feel like such a big deal is that you had this giant focus of your attention, and now it is gone. That is understandable, but I feel that it might be helpful to note there is always a feeling of letdown after some things. Give yourself time to grieve the passing of such an exciting thing to look forward to, and then look for another project–volunteering, learning a new school, hosting an event for friends, whatever! 

Post # 21
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Aww honey we have all been there! Don’t beat yourself up. FWIW I didn’t drink at my wedding and it was still a whirlwind/blur. There was a lot going on! Weddings are so stressful; focus on the good parts and move on! <3 I’ve also read a lot of posts on here about “post wedding blues” (nothing to do with drinking) so i don’t think what you’re feeling is uncommon. It’s over and done with, don’t stress about it! 

Post # 22
33 posts
  • Wedding: August 2021 - London, UK

Don’t beat yourself up for not having a photographic memory of the whole day! Not only were you probably physicially and mentally exhausted but then there’s alcohol in the mix. If all that is blurry is a bit of the last hour I think you’re good. In 1/5/10 years time you will remember less and less of the details anyway.

What does ring alarm bells though are a couple of other things about your post. You mention being a drinker but then immediately make justifying comments about it and put it into context with your husband and friends group. Plus the defensive end comment of not wanting to hear about the obvious from us. I worry that *your* worry stems from something a bit deeper around your relationship with alcohol? Maybe you were trying very had to keep something in check and when you suffered a bit of a normal response on an important day you went into hyper-self critical mode. If I am off in left field about this then I apologize and don’t feel so bad about what sounds like very brief gaps in memory at the end of a long day. But if there is something to it then maybe talk to someone? 

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