Post # 16
It’s okay!!!! I know its not easy but you have to forgive yourself. You said it was only for the final 2 hours, that’s only a portion of your big day. It’s cliche but it could have been worse. My makeup artist was telling me a story about how she had a bride get drunk the night before the wedding and spent all morning throwing up, she did the best she could with her makeup but she still looked pretty ill. The bride had trouble standing for the ceremony and couldn’t really enjoy the reception and the groom was miserable. I also heard another story where a Groom had the flu and couldn’t function at all during the wedding. So look on the bright side! You both got to enjoy some of your wedding! The DJ will get over it. I’m sure you’re not the first person to yell at him. I got pretty snippy at one of our photographers on our wedding day. In my defense she was pretty rude to both our moms, made our flower girl feel uncomfortable and I later found out she was rude to my husband too. She didn’t seem surprised that I got an attitude with her. My DJ also skipped a lot of the songs I really really wanted him to play and played some on my do not playlist, it upset me a lot and I wish we saved the money and didn’t hire a DJ, I would have done a WAY better job making a playlist and having a family member MC for the announcements and stuff.
Overall, there’s no going back. Your husband forgave you, it sounds like your families aren’t upset so it’s okay! Focus on the parts of your wedding that you enjoyed and know that there will be plenty of other happy moments in life that you will enjoy together.
Post # 17
kathynaps : Girl I wanted to give my DJ eye daggers. He made so many mistakes, even though we walked through the whole list and he had it printed out!
How does he open up the dance floor? By playing Country Music’s two most famous breakup songs (Neon Moon and Friends in Low Places)
WHO THE F PLAYS THAT CRAP AT A WEDDING
You’re not wrong to be upset and I am debating on giving an honest review (because he really is kind…just senile?). You had a strong reaction, but you were stressed and it seems that your nearest and dearest are forgiving.
Do evaluate the way that you function under stress and alcohol, but it’s time to start fresh and move on. You’re gonna be ok!
Post # 18
“I cried and cried until finally my husband was able to dry my tears and consummate our marriage”
I am sure it’s just how it’s worded but this kinda freaks me out.
Post # 19
frenchtoastvegan : ! 🙂 Makes me wonder if op was a virgin and that’s what was really stressing her out. Am I being mean/unsupportive?
Post # 20
cherryberrypie : I didn’t think of that, but you make a good point! I personally don’t find it mean or unsupportive because it makes sense. Wedding or not, the first time is always stressful!
Post # 22
I find it very weird and pretty disrespectful to yell (or “rage”) at a vendor for playing a song he wasn’t supposed to, and then AGAIN because people weren’t on the floor. I’d be pretty pissed if I were him. I’m also sure your friend was being nice when she said that no one else noticed lol. Those sort of situations, everyone notices.
But anyways, some people are just angry drunks. If that’s you, I’d probably just check yourself when drinking in the future, but if its a one off, oh well, it happened, move on. There is nothing you can do to change the past, and stressing over it is not a good use of energy!
Post # 23
- Wedding: October 2016 - Montego Bay, Jamaica
your husband sounds amazing. You got too drunk & did something stupid. Many, many people have been there, done that! This will blow over. Try not to beat yourself up over it 🙂
Post # 24
I wish I had drank more at my wedding, bee. Don’t feel bad. I cant really handle my alcohol past three drinks , literally. I dont act up, but I just get really sick and nauseous, so my husband was monitoring me, lol so I only had 2 drinks during the entire night. Of course, I still had ton of fun, but I was actually slightly annoyed at not having drank more than 2 glasses at my own wedding, haha!! you are good!! it is your wedding, I hope you enjoyed the rest of the night. The only thing I would say you over did was getting upset over a few songs… i would not have cared about that, but to each their own, I guess. 🙂 Happy marriage!!
Post # 25
eazybreezy : Everyone who is planning a wedding should read this. It’s so true. And it’s kind of repulsive the way society and social media have built weddings up so that they’re regarded as the pinnacle of a woman’s existence. It’s bullshit.
OP, it’s one day out of your life. If you have a good life it won’t be the most important day and you’ll have other days that you enjoy more. Don’t waste your time worrying about it and ruin the days to come.
And don’t drink to excess again.
Post # 26
- Wedding: September 2018 - City, State
frenchtoastvegan : Yeah ditto. His brand new wife is somewhere between “sloppy” and “blackout,” she’s sobbing hysterically, and he’s worried about making sure he gets to fuck on his wedding night? It’s probably just the way it’s worded, but my mind went “Holy shit that’s predatory a.f.”
OP, people make mistakes. You bought into the cultural hype about how everything had to be perfect … now, hopefully, it’s a lesson learned about placing too much importance on one day/event. Don’t sweat it! (And maybe be more careful about how much you drink at social gatherings in the future?)
Post # 27
skibumlove8 : “If I had a dime for everytime I blacked out and embarrassed myself, I would be a millionare. “
Then you have a real problem with alcohol, and I suspected as much after your bach thread. That’s not normal or ok and I find it very disconcerting when people downplay being drunk. Now I see why you didn’t like what @zzar said.
Post # 28
- Wedding: May 2019 - City, State
sunburn : I agree. I admit I’ve made mistakes and was a little bit of a party girl in college, so I’ve been blackout drunk more than once — but not more than a handful of times, but I recognized it was a problem and a symptom of deeper issues and I went to therapy for it.
I highly recommend therapy if you can @skibumlove8. I mean no judgment and no disrespect. you’ve mentioned working on yourself and wanting to improve, and that’s the best way I know.
Post # 29
OP, forgive yourself. Planning weddings for months and then leaning on the expectations that they are magical and should be perfect can really take a toll on us emotionally. If you handled that by kicking back, trying to decompress and had one too many, than you had one too many. You’re not the first to have done it. You won’t be the last. The way you phrased how you and your husband “consummated” your marriage sort of weirded me out, but I’m sure you meant something different by it than some of us read it.
It sounds like he was supportive and calming, and the majority of your wedding and the entire ceremony went off really well. Focus on the nice parts, and just allow it to be a reminder to you that you should let yourself decompress sooner, more often, and without alcohol. Be kinder to yourself overall so you don’t feel this way about things in the future. I mean, hey, you looked beautiful, you had a great start to your day and then you bridezilla’d out at the end of the night: so your husband got “for better” and “for worse” in the same evening and still adores you. That’s something I hope you will be able to laugh about, in the future.
Post # 30
oh wow it sounds like the culmination of the stress of wedding planning + running on empty + too much alcohol. try to forgive yourself and move on.