Post # 1
So, I just got a group Facebook message from a ‘friend’ of mine (we haven’t talked in 10 years), which basically said that she’d heard a lot of people asking about a high school reunion and that she’s willing to undertake planning the event.
Unfortunately she can see that I’ve read the message, so I can’t pretend I didn’t see it. But bees, I DO NOT want to have anything to do with this reunion. I already know that two of the people on the group list were upset that they weren’t invited to my wedding, and another person on the list used to be my best friend in HS but we had a falling out around the time things got serious with my Darling Husband (BF at the time). That was 5 years ago.
How do I politely decline without offending everyone on that list?
Post # 3
@MsGolightly: if you don’t want to relive high school and I personally wouldn’t, just politely decline. I just got a message about my 10 year reunion on FB and just rolled my eyes at the thought there is a reason I moved away from that town after high school 🙂
Just be honest if this is my something you want to do let them know that you have other obligations and that you can’t dedicate yourself to planning it or attending it if you dont want. No one should make you feel obligated if you think you’ll be miserable there
Post # 4
@MsGolightly: Just say you cannot participate. I wouldn’t worry too much about their feelings. You haven’t seen them and you don’t socialize with them so don’t feel guilty. I’ve never been to any of mine.
Post # 5
You couldn’t pay me to go to my high school reunion. Nothing particularly negative happened to me in high school or with anyone from my high school in the last ten years. But I’ve lived over 1000 miles away for the last 5 years and am perfectly happily with the limited set of friendships I’ve maintained.
Post # 6
“I’m sorry but I won’t be able to make it. I hope everyone has a great time though!”
Done. If you don’t want to go you don’t want to go. You don’t owe anyone any explanations! Reliving high school isn’t everyone’s cup of tea – I skipped the latest reunion too.
Post # 7
@MsGolightly: You are an adult right? So you get to choose what events you go to. So just say no. If you haven’t spoken in 10 years then you really aren’t friends so who cares if they get offended. And if they do get offended then I think they have bigger issues than you saying no to a high school reunion.
Post # 8
@MsGolightly: Just decline! Honestly, I am betting that they really aren’t going to care if you show up or not since you haven’t been in contact in 10 years. You couldn’t pay me enough to go to my HS reunion *shudders*
Post # 9
Thanks for the replies everyone. Glad to hear that others have felt the same way. I guess I’m stuck on the fact that we were all really close before (this “reunion” is for a group of 10 girls who were great friends 15 years ago), and some girls on that list I speak to all the time, and others I’ve kept a friensly but distant relationship. These are the girls I don’t want to be rude to. But without a date having been set, how do I bow out early?
@j_jaye: Not sure why your reply had to be so snarky. You think I don’t realize that I’m an adult, and that I get to choose what events I attend? At least be constructive. You obviously see the world a bit more black and white than I do, and that’s fine. My situation has a bit more history to it than that. That’s why I’m struggling with it, and trying to be diplomatic.
Post # 10
A lot of people said they would go to mines about 10 people ended up showing up out of a class of about 200-300 people it was a sad sight and I giggled a bit like THANK GOD I missed it. If you don’t want to go don’t go i’m sure you’ve kept in touch with those people that were important to you.
Post # 11
@MsGolightly: say your busy, lol. Im not going to mine.
Post # 12
@MsGolightly: Just don’t respond? I’m not sure I see what the issue is. If you don’t want to participate, don’t. But you aren’t obligated to respond if it’s a preliminary message. Once more details come out, just say “Won’t be able to make it, have a great time!” Don’t overthink it. ; )
Post # 13
@glamvicious: yikes! That sucks, lol. I really don’t think we need those huge reunion events anymore in this era of social media. You’re right – I do keep in touch with the people I still care about….
Post # 14
@Mrs.LemonDrop: maybe you’re right. Maybe I am overthinking it. I have a problem with feeling bad about stuff like this. I guess it’s just cause it’s a small group that I don’t want to stir up drama. Especially if they haven’t set a date yet and I’m like, “I’m not coming!” Lol
Post # 16
Just say you have other obligations, if that. I haven’t gone to any of mine and last year was my 30th. I moved to a different state and never looked back, lol.