Dreaded usb. Help

posted 2 months ago in Relationships
Post # 31
450 posts
Helper bee

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esbeejay :  If you are concerned he’s still looking at these pics then it definitely warrants a conversation. Just don’t put him on the defensive, that will not end in a fruitful conversation. Ask him why the pics are still there, explain how it made you feel to find them, and that you would like them deleted. Chances are they’ve been a non-issue for four years and he’ll probably get rid of them without much fuss. 

Did you see pics of his dog on the USB? I’m confused about that part. 

Post # 32
515 posts
Busy bee

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esbeejay :  Hey there. I DO NOT want to stress you while you are pregnant…but affairs, especially with women in close proximity, almost always become physical.

There are forums that deal with indfidelity, most notably survivinginfidelity.com. There are hundreds of stories of women who thought their partner’s affair was not physical…because their partners told them so.

A lot of these women find out later it was actually physical, or they demand a polygraph test and get a “parking lot confession” about the physical parts of the affair.

Tbh, whether it was actually physical or not would be irrelevant to me because he has already shown you that you cannot trust him. Even with his hand on a Bible swearing that nothing happened, I would not believe him because he has already shown that he is capable of breaking promises an commitments.

Post # 33
1198 posts
Bumble bee

You can open this can of worms now and deal with the fall-out, or you can let it fester, slowly rotting you from the inside. I would open the can of worms. It’s going to weigh on you forever if you don’t. Clearly he has been unfaithful–whether it was physical or not remains to be seen–but you need to address the betrayal and figure out if this is somethign that can be salvaged. Probably counseling will be in order.

I’m so sorry you’re in this situation, but you are strong and can do this. For the sake of your child you need to get it out in the open and figure out if you can put the pieces of the relationship back together or not. 


Post # 34
12805 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Were you in a committed, exclusive relationship when he originally received these photos? A year or two later, unless you had a temporary break up, it seems very likely you were. It defies credibility that nothing was going on then, and as others say, sketchy in and of itself that he took the time to download and save them. The fact that he’s sneakily looking for and at these photos, right now, today, two weeks before your wedding, is very disturbing as well. He certainly wasn’t looking for “dog pictures.” 

You’d better believe this conversation would be happening.  

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