(Closed) Dreading Dress Shopping With Mom

posted 7 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 3
Member
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Eeesh, I’m sorry. :-/ Honestly I wouldn’t bring her with me. I would go alone or with a close friend.

Post # 4
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

My mom is EXACTLY the same. I usually turn around and tell her that they are her jeans that did it to me. (Clearly a healthy relationship)

I plan on going dress shopping with her alone simply to give her the satisfaction of being involved. But also going without her and with more supportive ladies.

Post # 5
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’d also not bring her with me.  Maybe go shopping with a girlfriend, and bring your mom in to see your final three choices before you buy.

Post # 6
Member
455 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yikes.  My mom is a bit crazy too, but she at least understands that a wedding dress nowadays under $1000 is a good deal.  Maybe you should bring your Maid/Matron of Honor or an Aunt or something along to help cut the tension?  Instead of it just being the two of you, I would suggest a third person…

Post # 7
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee

My mom is like this too, and we live in different countries (her in Canada, me in WA state), so its hard for her regardless to come shop with me.  I am scared she will comment on something, and I do NOT want her to come with me, so I am going to go with one of my bridesmaids, or my sister if i dont have a dress by the time she comes. 

Post # 9
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@GeekChic: I felt the same way you did and to my surprise this weekend when I took my Mom she was very good, it did help to have my sister there with me so I didnt have to go through the drama of it all. I think it would hurt her feelings if she were not involved but I think it would help for you to take someone else as well. Take one of your bridal party members with you and that night ease the pain of it all

Good Luck!

Post # 10
Member
1340 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I thought I was going to have a similar problem with my family so I found a solution in order to “manage their expectations”. My fiancee and I (we’re both brides) are both large and we both have vocal mothers and family members, so we went to the bridal store by ourselves to try on a couple that we liked and figure out what looked good. Then we booked appointments with our families so that they could see the dresses and they were not allowed to know the value, only that they fit into our unannounced budget.

It worked out pretty well…until my mother started pulling dresses for me, but she did find my dress @[email protected]

Post # 11
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@GeekChic:

Feel lucky that you are able to have your mom there with you to try dresses on.

My mom lives in another state, and wasn’t able to make it up here to go dress shopping with me.  She is not even going to be able to make it here for the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner.  We are picking her up for the wedding after the rehearsal dinner because she wasn’t able to get the time off from work for the whole week-before the wedding like we had wanted.  I am just grateful that she will be able to make it for the wedding!!

My mom is also one to make those type of comments, but I would have at least liked to have her here when I got my dress.

Post # 12
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I feel you’re pain but at least she wants to be a part of this with you. My Mom completely refused to go and I had to go with my bridesmaids. It really hurt my feelings.

I hope things work out for the best!

Post # 13
Member
154 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I completely understand your concern. I was FULLY prepared for my mother to act the same way, BUT, she was perfectly behaved. There was no negative feedback. She was quite possibly the nicest she has ever been. Hopefully your mom acts this way too, good luck!

Post # 14
Member
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Some brides go to several wedding salons before they find “THE DRESS”.  I would go on one trip with a few close friends and another with my mother and maybe another close friend(only if she does not object to it).  I would also say mothers are mothers and they all drive us crazy-you are blessed to still have her here to drive you crazy!  The comments may be hurtful, but in order to survive, you are going to have to play interpreter-she wants to best for you and may not mince words.  Ulitimately, it is going to have to come down to how YOU feel about yourself-that is what determines what you will feel like on your wedding day.

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