(Closed) Dreading my bachellorette….

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

wtf. i would be so sad and hurt too!! why did all your friends bail?? is the destination really far or timing inconvenient or something? like is it on a wednesday morning in hawaii? thats the only reason i can imagine my friends not being at my bachelorette party

Post # 4
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@metalbride:  Unfortunately, that happens alot with weddings. 🙁 It sucks.

I would try to enjoy your bachelorette! I know in my family, all the generations typically have a lot of fun together when we get together! Also, try to look at it like these are the people that truly care about you and will make your weekend fun! Go and relax and enjoy 🙂 I hope you feel better!

Post # 5
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Aw, I’m sorry that your friends are being losers. But don’t hold it against your Maid/Matron of Honor or the people that will be coming.. Try to enjoy yourself and don’t think about what could have been. Just be happy with the fun weekend you’ll have.

Post # 7
1736 posts
Bumble bee

@metalbride:  I’m sorry but the last “no” made me laugh out loud. I suppose not being able to cross the border is a viable excuse!

In all seriousness though, I’m sorry that you are feeling so hurt. That’s not supposed to be how you feel about your upcoming bachelorette! Don’t assume yet that you won’t have any fun (even though it feels like that will be the case)! You will have your Maid/Matron of Honor and one of the BMs and you can still have a rockin’ good time – all the other non-attendees be damned!

Post # 8
674 posts
Busy bee

@metalbride: How are those reasons for being unable to attend lame?

1) Depending on the wedding and who I knew planned to attend, I would be very uncomfortable sitting alone and without my guy around. I have attended weddings alone, but that’s because I would know other people there. Many people don’t consider spending hours with a room full of strangers to be a great time. Her husband can’t get off work, what do you expect them to do? If he can’t do it, then the only other option is for him to quit. Seriously, that seems a little absurd to get upset that someone can’t easily re-arrange their career for your party.

2) No money seems like a viable excuse to me! I would never expect my friends to go into debt to attend my wedding. You say she spends her money in other ways that you clearly don’t approve, but that’s not really your decision. Besides, how confident are you that she’s spending nearly as much as you assume? I have a friend who goes out regularly, but rarely spends as much as one might assume she does. Between simply not drinking nearly as much as others some nights or even managing to score drinks from guys she has met or even from social contacts who offer to buy her drinks or dinner, she may be out often, but not spending herself into the poorhouse. If you don’t do her accounting for her, it seems hard to make a solid judgement on this situation.

3) You are seriously getting pissed over the decision to have a child that gets in the way of your wedding? Just because you decided that you wanted to spend more than $1,000 to attend her wedding doesn’t give you veto rights over her decision to have a child. I just can’t imagine if my friends viewed me like this! I’d definitely find myself new friends if they thought that I should rearrange my entire family plan just to attend their party. The ability to travel to a wedding doesn’t mean that she doesn’t value you or your soon to be husband.

4) The last reason is a new one for me to hear, but I’m glad you consider it valid. It’s interesting that you’re concerned enough for your friend over her prior criminal conviction, but don’t give the same consideration to your friend who is expecting a child and may need medical care around the time your wedding.

I think you need a little perspective on this. No, your night out with the girls isn’t what you expected it would be. I can get being a tad disappointed in that for a short time. That short time should be the time that you realize you still have friends and family members who want to throw you a party and have a good time celebrating you and your upcoming wedding.

Post # 10
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@metalbride:  You are totally entitled to your feelings.  It sucks when friends don’t reciprocate the generosity you have shown them.  That being said, try not to think to negatively going into your bachelorette party.  Enjoy the women that have come to celebrate you and don’t think about the ones who did not.  You make it a point to enjoy yourself, lady! 🙂

Post # 11
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

That totally sucks that you’re bummed, but you may still have a good time! You will still get away and relax with the girls! It may be hard for your friends to afford a weekend away.

In regards to your friend who is pregnant and not attending your wedding, you are being a little ridiculous. Nobody should take someone elses wedding into account before they get pregnant. Instead you should be happy for her!!

Post # 13
377 posts
Helper bee

Your friends not being there for your bacherllorette is disappointing for you so I can sympathise when you say your not looking forward to it. But in my experience (and my mums as she reminds me when im being to grumpy to rememeber) sometimes the best things are the ones you least expect to be. Almost always I think I’m going to have a terrible time at an event i’m dreading but then i have one of the best times ever!


Also you have way more fun in small groups than in big parties where everyone disperses and stays segregated instead of mixing and having fun!

I hope this helps and more than anything I hope you really do have a great time!x

Post # 14
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

What a rotten situation. It’s not a reflection on you. 

Vent here (good job) and keep your head high and try to enjoy the party. 

Post # 15
1036 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

if it makes you feel better you & i are on the same page. my Maid/Matron of Honor is just throwing a little sex toy party at my parents, not a big deal thats okay with me. we were planning on going out after but i am now 11 weeks pregnant and she still wants to go out. i am not the kinda person to go out pregnant or not. i am gonna be a mom the last place i need to be is a bar or club. on top of that no one has RSVP’d but we cant cancel just incase people do show up that didnt call us to let us know. & here is the cherry on top, she invited HER friend to MY parents house that she KNOWS i DONT like, with out asking me. (end rant) but just make sure to have fun and make the most of it not having fun and making it worse isnt gonna make it any better. just gotta let it go. im sure something fun will come out of it.

Post # 16
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I’m sorry this happened to you.

I somewhat understand how hurt you are. My Maid/Matron of Honor sent out my bridal shower invitations (before my wedding was postponed) and 80% of my friends RSVP’d “NO”, I talked to them & they all had what I deemed were excuses not to come … it’s 2 hours of your time!! I was so upset because I’ve traveled out of town & stayed in a hotel for a night just to attend showers & bachellorette’s.

I hope you can try to enjoy your bachellorette and look forward to a future with your hubby.

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