Post # 1
My bachelorette is coming up in two weeks and I’m starting to get nervous about it. Unfortunately, it looks as though I’m planning most of it because my other friends kind of got bored of planning I’m guessing. They are all still coming, and expect a really fun night, but it’s up to me to figure it out so far.
I’ve decided that I want to just have a low key girls night. I was able to get us a makeup consultation so we can all get our makeup done for free, and then we could order some pizza or something cheap and I was booking a hotel room for us all to stay in downtown. I was hoping to maybe go to this low key bar for a few martinis, but I really didn’t want to do the whole all night drinking party.
Well now some of my friends are starting to talk about how they are so excited and can’t wait to get me trashed and they said they have come up with all of these super embarassing (in my opinion) games and dares for me to do at the various clubs they think we should bar hop to and how they expect some really exciting theme like vegas night or something? This is not what I wanted at all! I am not a huge party girl and I do not handle alcohol well so I didn’t even really want to drink much.
Now I’m stuck feeling like everyone is going to be super bored and annoyed at me if we do what I had planned. Should I just accept what they are planning even though I’ve already mentioned to them that I’m not a huge party person? Or how do I explain to them that I really don’t want any part of what they have planned?
Please help me because I’m now really dreading this party that I had been so excited about before!
Post # 3
I would explain to them what you want to do since it your bach party not your friends party.
Post # 4
Be honest with your friends. While they may want you to have a wild and crazy night – tell them what you envisioned and what makes YOU excited. They may still insist you need to get a little crazy, but just stay firm. You know your friend’s best – talk to the planners of the group that will be the most understanding.
This reminds me a friend of mine… she hates alcohol and her BM’s took her wine tasting for her bachelorette party… and she didn’t drink anything and had a miserable time (but couldn’t bring herself to tell them she didn’t want to do that).
Speak up and ENJOY the time with the girls!
Post # 5
ALSO – I would most definitely EMAIL everyone that’s going with an itinerary of the weekend. That way – they know what to expect (ie: no bar hopping).
If they go into it, thinking it’s going to be crazy bar hopping they will be majorly disappointed and could end up pressuring you into doing something you don’t want to do.
It actually works out well that you are doing the planning!
Post # 6
Sorry you had to plan your own stagette, sometimes when you want something done right you gotta do it yourself.
This night is a party about you… that night out should be something that you enjoy. It is their job to make sure you are having fun not the other way around.
Let them know that you do not want to get stupid drunk or have some rowdy, raunchy bachelorette party. Tell them that you would just not enjoy that and share your vision for the night. Remember that boring people get bored so if they are not having the time that they would like hopefully they will when it is their own stagette.
Post # 7
I don’t know why I’m so nervous, because it’s not like they have actually planned anything. They just talk about what they want to do. I’m the one paying for the hotel room because I wanted a girly sleepover, and I’m trying to keep costs down for everything by just having pizza for dinner, free makeup, and no cab costs because the martini place is across the street from the hotel. I wanted to have a low key, but girly night.
They apparantly want me to be featured on girls gone wild or something? lol. I hate confrontation of any kind so it’s really hard for me to stand up for myself, but I think this is just one of those times when I need to suck it up, otherwise I’m going to be wearing a feather boa very soon lol.
Post # 8
Could you go out for happy hour downtown and just order a bunch of appetizers to split? That way your friends could drink and get the exrperience of going out without making you bar hop and act crazy. I think sharing a meal out with friends is a nice way to celebrate and would probably be a little more exciting for your group than ordering pizza in the hotel room.
Post # 9
@summerbride12: don’t be bashful about what YOU want to do. But, you are doing them and yourself a disservice if you don’t communicate well with them. Think of it as doing them a favor to help them know what to expect. It’s not unusual to expect a bachelorette party to have a lot of raunchy games and crazy drinking… but it’s not unreasonable for you to have the night YOU want either (especially when YOU are hosting it)!!!
Post # 10
u are opposite of me. my girls are making me feel as though i am unreasonable wanting a typical nite out experience with them. and are looking to dump me back home early in the evening. the main point here, it SHOULD be about what the b2b wants, but unfortunately it seems overwhelmingly to be the bridesmaids’ expectations of the nite, whether or not that meshes with what the bride wants. 🙁
Post # 11
I completely agree with oracle… these are your friends! They should understand if you send them an email with more details. Be prepared though… the rowdier ones might get you a stripper/exotic dancer.
I’m like you, and my Maid/Matron of Honor and I have already planned to do a spa day, followed by dinner two days before the wedding. Worse come to worse, confide in your Maid/Matron of Honor and have her crack the whip. Good luck!
Post # 12
they are your friends and should want you to have the best night, I’m sure you would support their decisions on their parties, and they probs want to be there for you, so try not to worry too much about what they want and just have a great night!! 🙂