(Closed) Dreading my Bridal Shower. I Hate Surprises.

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 17
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I don’t understand why they’re keeping this from you. Generally, the idea of a surprise party is that the guest of honor will be pleasantly surprised and have a great time. If you’re clearly stressing out about this, all the ‘fun’ of the surprise is out the window. It’s rather childish of them to continue this when you are clearly not enjoying it. 

Try to see if you can get them to give you a heads up a couple of hours before, that way you’re still in the dark about when/where but you can get dressed up all nice.

Post # 18
220 posts
Helper bee

I would explain to one of them or close friend or family member to get it out of them. I agree with you and it’s not fair to make you so uncomfortable. It’s about you not them!

Post # 20
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Aw Miss Moxy… I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this! I’m having all kinds of anxiety over my shower too (which is this Saturday)- but I know the date, time, and location. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if everyone was keeping that from me and I wanted to know. From the first time a shower was brought up, I made it clear that I didn’t want to be surprised- I too don’t handle surprises well and have a history of messing them up.


It sounds like you’ve already tried talking to your mom and bridesmaids about wanting to know the date several times, but I’d try pleading with them again. You can certainly threaten to tell them that you’ll leave, but I would start with the approach of letting them know just how uncomfortable all of this is making you. I understand that they’re trying to make it a surprise because they think that’s more special- or mayhaps it’s because it’s what they would want if they were in your shoes. But this is about you and what you want and what you need to feel comfortable and enjoy yourself. I would let them know just how much anxiety this is causing you- let them know that you’re crying- let them know if you’re having trouble sleeping or having nightmares about it. These women were chosen to be a part of one of the biggest days of your life. I’m sure they all love you and I’m hopeful that if they know how much this is hurting you, they’ll do whatever they can to make you feel better.


Post # 22
2868 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply
@Miss Moxy:  I’m so glad you were able to find out when it is!! I would have flipped out on my Maid/Matron of Honor if she had tried to keep the date a surprise.  She got to keep all the details a suprise, but not when it was happening.  And since you hate surprises, I would be pissed! I know they’re trying to be nice, but ugh, they should know you well enough to know that isn’t cool.  But now you can enjoy it 🙂

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