Post # 17
I don’t understand why they’re keeping this from you. Generally, the idea of a surprise party is that the guest of honor will be pleasantly surprised and have a great time. If you’re clearly stressing out about this, all the ‘fun’ of the surprise is out the window. It’s rather childish of them to continue this when you are clearly not enjoying it.
Try to see if you can get them to give you a heads up a couple of hours before, that way you’re still in the dark about when/where but you can get dressed up all nice.
Post # 18
I would explain to one of them or close friend or family member to get it out of them. I agree with you and it’s not fair to make you so uncomfortable. It’s about you not them!
Post # 19
UPDATE: So, I kinda found out which weekend it was going to be because my mother slipped up. One of my grandmother’s friends is going to Puerto Rico for 2 weeks on the 4th and she mentioned she won’t be around for the bridal shower.. Opps. So since my sister works on Sundays I am guessing its on the 7th or the 14th of September. I will be sitting in a nice dress and makeup all day and will be upset if thats not the date. My fiance still insists he doesnt know and I kind of believe him at this point but is telling me that the girls will insure I don’t look stupid the day of. Well, I have very differing fashion taste than my girls. I dont know if they are buying me something or pulling stuff from my closet. Either way, I am not going to leave my house without a nice outfit on. I am still pissed at them for not tell me what the day was.
Post # 20
Aw Miss Moxy… I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through this! I’m having all kinds of anxiety over my shower too (which is this Saturday)- but I know the date, time, and location. I can’t imagine how I’d feel if everyone was keeping that from me and I wanted to know. From the first time a shower was brought up, I made it clear that I didn’t want to be surprised- I too don’t handle surprises well and have a history of messing them up.
It sounds like you’ve already tried talking to your mom and bridesmaids about wanting to know the date several times, but I’d try pleading with them again. You can certainly threaten to tell them that you’ll leave, but I would start with the approach of letting them know just how uncomfortable all of this is making you. I understand that they’re trying to make it a surprise because they think that’s more special- or mayhaps it’s because it’s what they would want if they were in your shoes. But this is about you and what you want and what you need to feel comfortable and enjoy yourself. I would let them know just how much anxiety this is causing you- let them know that you’re crying- let them know if you’re having trouble sleeping or having nightmares about it. These women were chosen to be a part of one of the biggest days of your life. I’m sure they all love you and I’m hopeful that if they know how much this is hurting you, they’ll do whatever they can to make you feel better.
Post # 21
Thanks Ms ScarletMiller! I appreciate your reply. I have had to go behind thier backs snooping around. Though I feel bad about it, I don’t feel guilty. Ive seen texts from my sister to my fiance over my wardrobe but nothing about the date. After an emotional break down with a friend and her being a recent bride herself, she told me the date time and where it was being held (Sept 7th at 1030am! SO EARLY!). She thought my BMs and family were being really unfair and she couldn’t believe they were being so ridiculous. But now I am less stressed out and I feel like I can go on to do other things without the thought of embarrassing myself or disappointing people because of ill planning. They don’t know that I know and I’m going to keep it that way.
Post # 22
I’m so glad you were able to find out when it is!! I would have flipped out on my Maid/Matron of Honor if she had tried to keep the date a surprise. She got to keep all the details a suprise, but not when it was happening. And since you hate surprises, I would be pissed! I know they’re trying to be nice, but ugh, they should know you well enough to know that isn’t cool. But now you can enjoy it 🙂
Post # 23
Thanks, I am glad too. I dont know any of the details but just to know the date was a god send and now I even know the time! YAY