(Closed) Dreading Second Job

posted 5 years ago in Career
Post # 2
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee

I’m a pretty firm believer that it’s not worth it to have a soul-sucking job for the sake of money. Find employment elsewhere if you have to, your quality of life will be much better because you’ll be happier!

You’re going to have to learn to say no. They’re professionals, they can deal with it. As for the owner, just tell her that you learned a lot and enjoyed working for her, but it’s time for you to move on, and thanks for everything. That’s all that needs to be said.

Post # 3
Member
8936 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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classylassie:  Go ahead and look elsewhere, why not? But I wouldn’t quit one job without having another lined up. Also, learning to say “no” will benefit you all throughout your life. Why not start now? I started using a phrase with my kids when they wouldn’t take the first no, and it really worked. The trick is, you MUST mean it when you say it. If you don’t mean it, then don’t even say it. Ready? Here it is: “The answer is no and it’s not going to change.” PLEEEEEEEEASE?????? “The answer is no and it’s not going to change.” But I NEEEEEEEEEEEED you!!! “The answer is no and it’s not going to change.” Then I’ll have to call in Amberley and you know she’s been sick, do you want her to have to come in sick? “The answer is no and it’s not going to change.” Repeat ad nauseum. If you ever say that and then change it to a yes, you just taught that person that they can get you to do anything if they harass you enough. But once you’ve used it (and meant it) a few times on the same person, they will miraculously start believing your No’s.

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by  Daisy_Mae. Reason: spelling
Post # 4
Member
323 posts
Helper bee

Definitely look for another job. If you can still pay your bills at another job, but you get to keep your sanity, then go for it!

Post # 5
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
classylassie:  I agree with somethingbee 100%! I learned the hard way

My last summer of college I worked at a movie theater. It was the best job in the whole world. It was fun, the perks were great, everyone got a long, and I was respected and felt like my work mattered. The only negative was I wouldn’t get many hours during the fall because less movies. That and it was minimum wage. My last semester came around and I wanted to get a 2nd job. So I got one as a waitress. Then I was forced to choose one or the other. I couldn’t keep both. I chose waitressing thinking I was smart and it would be good money. I chose wrong!

It was the most soul sucking job ever. The customers were RUDE and ghetto, my manager felt like he needed to berate me in front of customers basically telling I was stupid and it was my first waitressing job (excuse me for learning something new). He also felt like he didn’t need to train me like the company asked, he cut corners were he could. And it was so tiring. I told them only about 15-20 hours a week. It was closer to 40 a week. I came home crying everyday and I just couldn’t handle it on top of school. My sanity was quickly in question at this job. 

I’m a very laid back person and pretty forgiving. But I cried when my boss told me I was a horrible listener because a customer lied to him and the manager chose the customers word over mine. I was about one comment away from punching another problem waitress and on my last day I quit last minute and sped home, pretty much ignoring all traffic laws. Not the best thing to do. I’d look for another job straight away. Your sanity and happiness is not worth the extra money. I still kick myself for giving up a great job for just money at another.

Post # 6
Member
9583 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Surely there are other nice restaurants in town!! Get out of there.

Post # 7
Member
2011 posts
Buzzing bee

Leave, it’s so not worth it!!

As for what to do with the owner who hired you: Either write her a letter or ask to speak to her in person and lay it all out. Tell her you appreciate her hiring you, that you leaving is not a reflection on her at all and that it all boils down to the work environment. Give her some examples like what you stated above and tell her that it’s causing you extra stress that you just can’t deal with anymore. Explain that you feel frustrated, dejected and disheartened that no complaints are taken seriously and that it’s hard to keep motivated when you know that you will be dealing with the same issues over and over again. Also point out that there is a high turnover of staff and you’re pretty sure everyone knows why. Thank her again and tell her that you thought you needed to be open and honest with her because you do respect her.

I feel it’s important to tell her why you’re leaving because it may actually make a difference. I once worked at a company that had a bully for a manager. Many people left and the newcomers tended to not even last a month. The company spent thousands of dollars on recruiting that they wouldn’t have had to have spent if that a**hole wasn’t there. Even though they ask you to fill out a separation form to give feedback about your time there before leaving, it was frustrating to see that time and time again, former employees just kept saying things like, “I just needed a change” or “I didn’t feel the position was a good fit for me”. Either they were too scared to say anything negative fearing a bad reference or they just didn’t think it would make a difference. When I left (for unrelated reasons – that dude couldn’t crack me the whole 5 years I was there even though he sure did try his hardest), I told them exactly what I thought about the manager. I wrote out in point form certain incidents I felt the higher ups should know about and explained that if they did something about Captain Control-freak’s behaviour then perhaps the company’s financials wouldn’t be in the red for the past two years because they were wasting so much money on recruitment. Shortly afterwards I got a call from the CEO himself thanking me for an honest review. They had no idea this problem was causing such big waves and thanked me again for bringing it to their attention. They also assured me that they would be taking all possible measures within their legal rights to rectify this issue. I have since heard from former colleagues that things improved greatly, they have never been happier at that company and I have been thanked a few times for having the guts to say something. So you see, even one person can make a difference.

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