(Closed) Dreading seeing my MOH (Long)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

She probably asked if you were sure because you live so far apart.  She knows that a Maid/Matron of Honor is supposed to be there and help, but that was impossible for her.  It sounds to me like she was giving you an out just in case there you had a friend close by that you would want to ask. 

My best advice is make this a non-issue and have a great time at your wedding. Congrats on getting married this weekend!   

Post # 4
1431 posts
Bumble bee

Just remeber why you asked her in the first place to be your Maid/Matron of Honor. She has been a wonderful friend to you for such a long time. Forget about the past few months. Wedding planning can get people in a tizzy for some weird reason. Don’t waste a wonderful wedding day on worry about something silly.

Post # 5
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Really?  All of this resentment because she asked twice if you were sure you wanted her to be your MOH?  Then when she’s not on top of things with the bachelorette and others are “getting on her” about it you flip out further?  She probably asked twice because of the distance and somewhere deep down knows she’s just not good at focusing on others. You accepted that long ago, you said.  I think you’re being a bit harsh to be honest…

Post # 6
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yeah I would say you overreacted as well. She was prob just making sure because she lived far away and didn’t want you to obligated to ask her. I would think your reaction made her very uncomfortable, it sure would me. Sorry 🙁

Post # 8
1172 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I have to say it sounds like you overreacted. I do the same thing to people. I ask them sometimes two and three times if they are sure because I dont want anyone to be put it out. It sounds like she was giving you an out since she is so far away. She was just making sure you didnt ask her because you felt obligated because you had been friends for so long.

To make matters worse when she called asking your opinion on things you just shut down. When your friends for so long and then you move away people change. Sounds like she was just getting your input to make sure it was something you would really like and appreciate. Sounds like she didnt want to screw it up and have you say later that you hated it.

Then when your BM’s got on her you shut down further. Its got to be hard for her to deal with things from a distance and since she cant be there for everything. But your not helping the situation by shutting her out. Talk to her and let her know that even though you know she is far away and that she is trying her best that you are sorry that you havent been as gracious as you should be.

I understand it can be stressful but its probably stressful for her too since she cant be there and maybe feels lacking in her duties.


Good luck to you!!!

Post # 10
3583 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Nah, I think there is more to the story.  To moi, it sounds like she’s pretty self-centered.  Why you flipped about her giving you an out about being a Maid/Matron of Honor, I don’t know, but it sounds like her behavior over the years has been pretty self-indulgent, which you have enabled, darling.

I think you’re actually having a one-sided argument.  :

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