(Closed) Dreading the weekend :(

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Have you and your Fiance read Toxic Parents? I found it most helpful when dealing with my very similar in-laws. We have to establish boundaries and ground rules Every Single Time we interact with them. Every time one of us gets blamed for our “bad behaviors” when we’re trying to talk to them we have to say, “I’m happy to write that down to talk about after, but right now we’re talking about ________.” This is every other sentence. 

You can’t expect them to change. They probably won’t ever stop pushing and prying and demanding he act like their little widdle boy. It sucks but so far my in-laws haven’t improved even with therapy. Every conversation is us asserting ourselves and them trying to break it down. 

Post # 5
Member
2105 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@whammy:  We’ve been laying down the law in earnest for 2 years and half-assed for 2 years before that. We’ve gotten to the point were I wish and hope that they disown us (my Mother-In-Law threatened to disown my husband in 2011 for skipping Thanksgiving).  We had a family meeting last weekend and it went… ok. It was supposed to end all issues but Mother-In-Law wants to be angry and insisted we meet AGAIN so we said no, she has to have one private counseling session and then we will attend group therapy with them. We need a moderator at this point because it’s the same fight every time. You may want to consider group therapy.

I saw a counselor with my husband who preliminarily diagnosed both of my inlaws with depression and my Mother-In-Law as narcissistic personality disorder/borderline based on their actions. Sigh.

Post # 7
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

THAT is AWESOME!!! i know it’s so hard to change people’s long time “roles” in the family, but it seems like at least your FIL’s are aware and willing to change.  That’s so wonderful.

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