Post # 31
30 is VERY YOUNG in NYC. Everything happens later here for people. I personally know people in the city still looking for all of the things you are. I think your situation is acutally not that uncommon and your 30s are the perfect age to be dating in NY because people are just starting to think about getting serious vs. just going on a million dates and going out all the time. It is definitely a hard place to get used to, but as someone else said, there are a lot of wonderful things about the city! I personally have a love hate relationship with it too but there really is a lot to love! If you love your new career path, just rememeber you dont have to stay here forever!
The one thing that does bug me is how you were treated on the subway. That really pisses me off and I am sorry that something bad happened to you. I hope you are OK and know that there are also a lot of really great people here too.
Post # 32
You are soooo not alone. People do this all the time. Most people were 35-50 in my grad program and we all had internships. In the past year, we’ve had three 40-something software developers at my company who joined as entry-level associates because they are switching careers.
Have you ever heard the saying, “comparison is the thief of joy?” It’s so true here. You’re following your dreams in NYC! That’s pretty incredible. I bet your friends with their houses in the boring ol’ burbs, suffering through their boring management meetings, wish they are doing what you’re doing!
I’m a fellow NYC bee, and omg, the subway is the WORST. The more time you’re here, the less you’ll get lost on the trains, but the people always suck. There are hateful, crazy people all over the world, but in other places, everyone is so separate in their own little bubbles (cars!), you don’t experience it that much. When we’re trapped underground, smushed together and touching each other, it just exasperates things and people show the worst sides of themselves. My boss has even been punched by a random stranger on the platform- TWO different times! I couldn’t stand it either so I moved to the neighborhood where I work, elminating the daily subway commute. I’m so much happier now. Is that an option for you?
Post # 33
roughwater : My husband is going to be an intern this summer at age 32. He is also in a dual degree program, so is taking undergrad classes with 20 year olds. I could not be prouder of him. He wanted to better himself and get into a career that would better our lives, and he went for it. There is nothing more impressive to me than going against the grain to do something good. Dont feel bad! Besides, nobody knows your age unless you tell them! Most assume my husband is around 25 and they think it’s amazing or cool when they find out he’s married with a kid. He’s never had a problem fitting in or relating to his school and work peers. You all have your profession in common after all!
Post # 34
I would set some activities every 3-4 weeks you love and look forward to those. Can you go on some small weekend getaways? Go to DC, Philly, Hamptons etc ? This might give you a good chance to escape and feel less like you’re stuck.
Post # 35
Just wanted to come back and say thank you for your responses. A lot of really good advice/ideas. I’m slowly finding spots – like coffee, or the local park – to love. I’m 110% sure I LOVE this job and I’m really good at it. My supervisor is already talking about me coming on full time as an employee after the intern period (I guess the benefits of having prior experience)! It’s exciting, so I’m trying to love NY before then because this is the opportunity I’ve been working toward.
That being said, the age thing is still a little awkward. My coworker was having a birthday and just flat out asked me how I old was in front of the office….so cat’s outta the bag lol. I’m embracing it and trying to focus on the job and being grateful to be here, fulfilling a dream after so long and struggling. I guess it’s not that important to them, because they still complain in front of me that the guys at the bar in their late 20s and early 30s are old, gross, and creepy! bahahaha.
Post # 36
roughwater : I understand how you feel. I started my first professional job at 26-27 after getting a masters. Small office with 22-year-old coworkers. I really did not fit in and they really thought 27 was old. After a year there I moved onto a much bigger workplace and my coworkers ranged from 22 to 70. This was the first time I was in such a mixed environment, and I liked it much better. Just do the work and don’t rely on people there for companionship. Get that outside of work. I am over 50 now.