(Closed) Dream Venue Wake-Up Call….Frustrated!!

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I’ve felt the same guilt that youre describing when talking about things for the wedding.  It helps to get it out – like you just did.

I recommend setting a budget – and sticking with it as best as possible.  Prioritize what is most important.  For instance, Id rather have more flowers at my wedding – so I cut my invitation budget to increase my floral budget.  Then I decided to reduce my flower budget to increase my food budget (I dont want any hangry people at my wedding haha…)

Post # 4
Member
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Don’t spend your entire savings on a wedding. Emergencies happen all of the time, and you should always keep a 6 month emergency fund in your savings account. And don’t stretch yourself too far to pay for this. There are so many bees who work out a stretched budget, only to have someone lose their job, get seriously ill, etc. and not be able to make those final payments when they come due.

I know it must suck, and it’s okay to be upset about it, but you have to be practical. If you need to, give yourself permission to mope and pout for a few days about the dream wedding that could have been, and then tell yourself that it’s time to “get over it”. Once you allow yourself to mourn the dream and get it out of your system, you can get excited about your reality and get creative in finding ways to work within your means.

Post # 5
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@idolina:  I do feel for you. Here’s what I’d do:

-Don’t blow all your savings on one day. You WILL regret it. If you’re in the position where you can’t afford it, that’ll cast a cloud over the day anyway, and you won’t enjoy it as much, and any little thing that goes wrong will seem even worse.

-Keeping looking for a venue. No, you may not find your dream venue in your budget. Once you realize this you will accept it. This doesn’t mean that you won’t still LOVE your venue. Make a list of your top priorities and find a venue you like. You will find one. There are also ways to tweak the budget and cut certain things. Invite less people if possible.

Sadly we can’t all have what we want. I would happily wear a $50,000 engagement ring, but that isn’t going to happen. I’m grateful for the budget my bf has given me, which is still a lot more than the average ring. A big wedding isn’t my priority so we are eloping and spending what a wedding would cost on my ring. I wonder if you could do something similar except put the bulk of the money into the venue (within reason).

Post # 6
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

Don’t go to the venue if it isn’t affordable.  there’s no point to it.

 

Post # 7
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Is it possible to try an off-day during the week or maybe push it a few months back into the Fall so it is out of “wedding season” in Michigan?  I have seen tons of couples save money this way.  My love and I are getting married on a Tuesday so it gives us negotiating leverage with venues because there is NO WAY they will make the same amount of money our wedding will bring through the week!  If the venue is the most important thing to you there are several ways to cut costs everywhere else!  Where there’s a will…       

Post # 8
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

OP: Fi  and I had our hearts and minds set on this one venue, just based on their website. Everything sounded so wonderful and the pics they had online looked beautiful, we get there for our viewing, and the place is even more amazing then I could have thought. The rental charge alone was probably about 4 or 5 times every other venue in our city. As much as I loved that place and wanted to do it there, I couldn’t justifuy spending so much more then anywhere else for a hall. Having our wedding there would have made our reception alone go over our entire wedding budget, and that was without centre pieces, favours, cake, booze. It wasn’t going to happen.

It sucks when we fall in love with a venue or dress, or caterer that is beyond our budget. I think at the end of the day you won’t regret saving the money and all that will matter is you will be married to the love of your life.

Post # 10
Member
515 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would suggest being open minded about your venue and not locking yourself into an idea of what is “perfect”. I couldn’t afford what I thought was my “perfect” venue either. In fact, I couldn’t afford pretty much any of the standard venues and I was about ready to call my mom and tell her I changed my mind about having a wedding with the family and would just elope when I found a cute little B&B that was not at all what I was looking for to start with, but ended up being perfect in its own way… for half the price!

Post # 12
Member
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m not sure why you would even look at a venue you can’t/don’t want to afford. It’s like wedding dresses, you never ever try on a dress you can’t afford because that’s the one you’ll fall in love with.

Post # 14
Member
2692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I couldn’t justify spending the amount of money it would cost to get my dream venue so I settled on a nice venue with a much lower price tag with just as beautiful indoor space (but not so pretty outdoor space).  I think it’s up to you.  But if I were you I would continue searching…your just right venue is out there.

Post # 15
Member
439 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

What about something that’s a less “traditional” wedding venue like renting out an entire B&B? Or renting a private cottage? I know there are websites that you can look up cottages and chalets that are being rented by the owner. I’m not sure what they’re called up when I was growing up my family use to go to these resorts that had multiple cottages for rent, and some even served meals in like this main cabin thing. Maybe something like that would be more budget friendly?

Post # 16
Member
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@idolina:  I’m glad you didn’t go! You’ll feel much better! Good luck with finding the perfect place!!

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