- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
I’m just feeling really down and need to get this out. I want to be excited to be planning a wedding, I want it to be fun and beautiful and for people to be happy, but…
My SO (not even officially Fiance yet) doesn’t believe in the institution of marriage, he’s willing to do it because I need it, he really does care about me and wants to be with me so he’ll marry me so I can immigrate to be with him but his ex destroyed any faith he had in the vows and sanctity of marriage. My sister says atleast he’ll be marrying me because he loves me and wants to be with me, it’s better than marrying me just to because he wants to be married without caring about me, but I still wish he wanted it as more than a means to an end.
My father rages when the suggestion comes up, he doesn’t think internet relationships are real (but we’ve met IRL and I’m going to see him again in a week) and I’m dreaming in technicolour and I’m going to ruin my life.
Most of my family and friends think an LDR is ridiculous and doomed to failure. My SO and I talk atleast 3 times a day, more than many couples I think. We’ve been “together” for over a year and will have been together atleast one more year by the time we get married.
My sister and best friend are trying to be patient with my excitement and are the most supportive so far but…I kind of feel alone in the wanting of this wedding.
My SO gets excited and happy talking about being together and living together, how his dog and my cats will get along, if they’ll play, about when to have kids and when to move back to Canada and settle here to have a family and go to the cottage on weekends…but She ruined the whole marriage thing for him.
I just, I don’t know. We talked about it the other day because I was bursting and needed to know. I was relieved that, yes, he’ll marry me because “that’s what I need” but kind of sad that he doesn’t believe it means anything…I just feel so sad.
I was hoping, really really hoping, to be officially engaged by the end of this next visit, and still may be, but I’m afraid it will lack any romance whatsoever, though maybe if he agrees because he loves me and wants to make a life together it’ll salvage a bit of it…