(Closed) Dreams After a Loss

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@futuremrsndl:  I am sorry for your loss. The dreams seem to be a result of grief. I don’t necessarily believe he is trying to contact you.  I think you should keep getting cousel for your grief.  And for me personally, God has helped me find healing in loss.

Post # 3
Member
2418 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

After my cousin died suddenly I drempt about him a lot. Mostly we were at hockey rinks and skate parks because that is what he loved most. I do think it was him trying to communicate with me and show me he was ok and not in pain. I was a mess when he died and I still have a hard time dealing with it and it has been almost 10 years.

Post # 5
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee

 

@futuremrsndl:  

Yes, about my grandfather who was like a father to me. A couple weeks after he pasted I was really angry. I got so angry one night I felt rage like blood rage (scared me) I felt evil. I remember laying in bed and thinking mean thoughts then all of a sudden a burst of light went from across the room and hit me. Literally HIT me. Right after I had a overwhelming feeling of relief and security. I knew it was my grandfather. Ever since then I have not felt that kind of anger.

^ Sorry wasn’t a dream but close enough

I believe that they walk amoung us. I have had a couple experiences with my love ones who have pasted. I believe that can communicate through dreams.

Post # 6
Member
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would like to believe that our loved ones can communicate through our dreams, but I’m not sure how much I actually believe that.  I have had a similar dream though, and it brought me comfort to think that my dream encounter came from a dear friend lost too young.  Maybe it was my mind’s way of finding closure, maybe this person was trying to ease my mind… I’ll never know really.

A good friend was killed tragically at a construction work site where he worked.  I’m not sure about the details as it’s still difficult for his brothers to discuss, but what I gathered was that he saw something about to happen, and ran up to shove someone out of the way of a piece of falling or malfunctioning equipment.  He was crushed to death immediately.  He had only just turned 24 years old the previous weekend.

In my dream, I went to a local hang out he frequented, saw him, and realized that he wasn’t supposed to be there.  I knew I was dreaming, and I knew he was gone, but I went up and gave him a big hug.  He smelled so good, just like always, and hugged me so tight, just like always.  I said “Joe!  What are you doing here???”  and his simple answer was “I’m always here, and I’m ok.” and he smiled, laughed, took a sip of beer, and the dream faded away.

Maybe he was telling me he’s always with us and he’s doing ok, in a better place I suppose.  Maybe I want to think that.  I’m not sure, but it doesn’t matter because I woke up with a warm sense of peace and comfort.  Where that came from is irrelevant, because I believe our loved ones lost are always alive in our hearts and memories.

Post # 10
Member
682 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

In the years after my Dad passed away (also on July 27th coincidentally) I have had pretty vivid dreams about him-  They were more common after it happened and I wanted to believe it was him coming to comfort me-  Now, it’s been 13 years and I rarely dream of him, but when I do, it’s just as if he never left.  I also have had the “realization during my dream that he was dead in real life” towards the end of the dream and tried to make myself say the thing I wanted to say etc. 

 

Who know’s if they can come in dreams.  I hope so, at least some times, when we really need it.  I’m so sorry for your lost and I hope you continue to find comfort in your dreams, regardless of who they come from.

Post # 11
Member
1598 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m so sorry about your dad, first off.

As for the dreams, I don’t belong to or practice any organized religion, but I am very spiritual and believe in God and everything, so I think it is totally possible that he is communicating with you.

I don’t necissarily think that anytime someone dreams of someone who has died that they have a specific “message,” or anything. I think it’s usually just the deceased person’s way of telling their loved ones that they are okay or they are still “with them” in a spiritual sense.

I also don’t believe in coincidences when it comes to things like this. If you’re hearing certain songs all the time, I totally believe that’s just another way of them reassuring you that even though they’re gone physically, spiritually, they’re still by your side. 

Another example I’ve heard or experienced is animals, birds, or even coins. Like if your loved one had an affection for butterflies or blue jays and all of a sudden you seem them constantly or you see them somewhere where you normally wouldn’t, that’s them. With the coins, I’ve heard that if you find a penny or something somewhere random and totally unexpected (like in the tub while you’re showering — totally happened to me! lol) that can only be explained spiritually.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 12
Member
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

After my grandfather died, I was pretty traumatized. My whole family is super close, and everyone had pretty much taken off work/school/life indefinitely to be with up until he passed. (He found out within two weeks that he had cancer and it had spread pretty much everywhere and only had a couple of months to live.) After he passed, for MONTHS I had nightmares about the whole thing. I was so afraid to fall asleep, and thank goodness it was over summer break because I literally couldnt sleep when it was dark (I would go to bed at 7am when the sun came up.) My nightmares would include pretty much reliving his death over and over, but it was in different ways each time. But sometimes he would be mad at me (My grandpa was NEVER mad at anyone, so it didnt make any sense) and I would wake up crying/screaming/with night sweats. It was pretty horrible, and I think it was caused by post-traumatic stress disorder. I actually witnessed my grandfather dieing which really wasnt something I wanted to see, I didnt see his last breath because it was about 3-4am and I had finally passed out on the couch next to him (he had been moved back to my grandparents house, his last wish, he wanted to die at home with his family). 

 

Anyways, I think one of the main reasons this happened was because the first of his last two weeks I spent every second I could with my grandfather, my cousin and I were the first to spend the night with him in the hospital, and we always made sure he had company. Well, I broke down one day in the room saying I coulddnt handle it (I emotionally was just swamped with sadness, my grandpa was like a second father) and at the same time was going through a million different things and I said I just needed a week to go home (he was still doing pretty good here, we had no idea he would only live another week, we figured at least another month) so I end up getting a ride home 3 days later and get a call 4 days later saying my grandfather was doing bad (he actually askd my cousin if he needed to say goodbye to me when he found out she was about to call me) and she told him no, that I would be coming the next day. The next day I came as the ambulance backed into my grandparents driveway and opened the doors I could already tell he was in so much pain and so drugged up that I had missed my opportunity to say goodbye to him. My point is, I think the guilt of not being there those last moments causes us to relive certain points in our life that we wish we still had. For me, it was seeing my grandfather one more time and being able to talk to him before he passed. For you, it might be a similar situation but because it was so sudden you probably dont harbor the guilt I do. I think its perfectly normal, as long as they dont get as stressful as mine were.

 

I’m so sorry about your loss, having lost my mom I know how incredibly hard it is to go through all of that pain and missing them every day. If you ever need someone to talk to, please message me and I would be happy to listen. *hugs*

Post # 13
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

This is long and it’s not something I like to share.  Two people in my family have passed, and both times I’ve been visited after the fact.  After the second time, my family requested that I write what happened.  They found it comforting, so maybe you will as well… 

This took place shortly after my grandfather, Pop-Pop, passed rather unexpectedly on Cape Cod, MA.

Sleep is a very distinct feeling for me.  I’m one of those people who am always aware or the fact I’m dreaming.  That being said, I’m usually just a drifter along my dream, perfectly aware it is happening but unable to stop it.  Often, if I concentrate hard enough, I can manipulate the dream world just enough to change something, but once I let my concentration go, it reverts back to the story line, and I am stuck until I wake. 

Sometimes, I can control the dream just enough to skip parts, rewind, or play other sections.  In that way, my dreams are rarely ever lineal and hardly ever make sense once I’m conscious.  I just seem to be playing a part with very little free will. 

This “dream” has none of those elements.

Following the news about Pop-Pop, I fell asleep for the night, much like every night, where my consciousness seemed to drift below my body, entering the eddies of my subconscious.  Suddenly, however, I snapped awake.  But, instead of being in my own bed, I snapped upwards, as if into a higher plane of my consciousness. I went beyond the feeling of awake.  I wasn’t quite sure what was happening, but I felt more alert and awake than I ever have before.  It was as if a different set of eyes were suddenly open.  And I was in a white room, sitting, with a door across from me.

It felt similar to a doctor’s waiting room, but there was absolutely nothing to distinguish it.  I can’t remember there were other people with me, as I was concentrating on how I managed to get here and how I would manage to leave.  Suddenly, the door opened, and a woman motioned me forward.  “You can come see him now,” she told me.

I remember she had dark hair (but not black), was pretty (but not beautiful), and was probably in her mid-40s.  She had a dismissive air about her, but it didn’t seem directed towards me.  It was similar to how a seasoned waitress treats you if she’s very busy and you ask her a question.  She seems hustled, but spares some patience for you, because she realizes it’s not your fault.  I followed her through the doorway and into a hallway, with many people sitting around chit-chatting.  I dodged a waitress, realizing we were in a restaurant. 

I walked past tables to my right and a breakfast bar starting down my left.  I saw touches of red everywhere, enough that it reminded me of the Stewed Tomato, a place Pop-Pop and I had frequented together often when I was young.  And then I saw him, sitting on a stool at the bar, waiting for me.  It suddenly made sense to me, this was something that we had shared in life, and it would be the easiest place to meet up again.    

I reached him and gave him a hug.  I started to tear up saying, “I miss you, and I never got a chance to say goodbye!”

He looked a little uncomfortable with my public display of emotion, but motioned me to sit.  “I’m fine, but sit down and have something to eat.”

I glanced at the table in front of him and saw coffee, wheat toast, with a poached egg on top.  “I’ll take the same,” I told the cook. 

“We miss you.” I repeated.  “We are going to you funeral soon.  A lot of us are up with Nanny already.” 

He nodded his head, as if this wasn’t news to him.  We proceeded to talk about all of our happy memories: waking up in the morning to go to breakfast before everyone else.  Walking along the beach.  Finding the arrow heads.  The hiking trips across Wing Island in Brewster.  Looking over his rock collections.  Learning about his jig saw.  Sunset walks along Brewster’s beach.  Stopping for ice-cream on the way home at the Brewster store.  The poached eggs on toast were good; just enough salt, and the bread was just a little soggy from the egg.

After a while of reminiscing, I told him how he was a really good Grandfather to us.  He thanked me.  Then I brought myself to ask the burning question, “How is it being dead?”

He shrugged, “It’s a lot like being alive.” 

A little while later, the same woman who brought me in came back.  She told him, “You have to get going now.” 

He got out of his stool, as did I.  We embraced one more time, and I told him that I loved him, and goodbye.  She brought me back through the restaurant, and through that door.  I dropped, and the drop woke me enough back into my bed.


I called my mother the next day to retell the story, as I wasn’t quite sure what happened.  I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but in the very least, this was the nicest thing my consciousness/sub-consciousness had ever done for me.  I had been given a chance to say my goodbyes.  And, regardless of the factuality of the situation, I felt like he was happy to be where he was.

Jesse and I went up to Cape Cod to attend the funeral.  Once there, we stopped at a restaurant for food.  It was the restaurant where the Stewed Tomato used to be, taken over by new owners.  I had found out the night before that Pop-Pop often spent his mornings here. 

Once I entered the restaurant, I had an eerie feeling a familiarity.  The touches of red were the same.  The seating was how I remembered it, but backwards.  I walked to the back of the restaurant, and realized that in my dream/vision/whatever, I had walked from the kitchen towards the front.  Everything snapped into place.  I started crying, but I had to know more.

When I spoke to the cook, I tried to explain my dream.  I had never been here, but I had sat in *that* seat with my grandfather and had whole wheat toast with a poached egg.  He told me that my grandfather sat in that exact seat almost every day, and ordered exactly that order. 

 


I don’t know much about what happens to someone after they die, but this has changed what I think is possible.

 

Post # 15
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

You’re welcome!  Feel free to PM me anytime!

Post # 16
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

My mother committed suicide in January of this year, and I have had several dreams in which she appeared.  I have and likely always will have the strongest desire to know why she did it.  

In one of my dreams, I asked her “Why?” to which she replied, “I was really unhappy and unless you’ve been there, you don’t understand it.”  It was such a simple response to a question that could have so many answers. 

Honestly, I’m not sure how much I believe in this type of thing, but sometimes, I swear she is here with me because I am overcome with a feeling of comfort, as if she were hugging me. 

I do believe that my mother did try to communicate with me the day she took her life.  You see, my grandmother (my mother’s mother) had passed away almost exactly a year before my mom killed herself.  The coroner told my family that my mom’s time of death was 2:30 PM.  I recall looking at the clock right at that time at work and having a strong urge to hug my grandmother again.  I never had that feeling, and I know it was my mother letting me know that she was hugging her mother once again. 

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