(Closed) Dress and in-law clash! Help me Bees!

posted 5 years ago in Dress
  • poll: What should I do about the sleeves?
    Leave the dress as is. In-laws will understand. : (98 votes)
    85 %
    Respect In-laws wishes and find an alternative. : (10 votes)
    9 %
    Other. (Please write below.) : (7 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    823 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @turningpersian:  I personally would leave it as is. It’s your dress and your wedding day, and it’s my belief that God isn’t offended by some bare shoulders (and I wouldn’t even consider yours bare).  It’s a little shoulder area, not a nip hanging out. And I agree that adding something might ruin the appearance of the dress 

    Post # 4
    1063 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Could you arrange your veil in a way that it covers your shoulders for the ceremony?

    Post # 5
    1030 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @turningpersian:  Just have your veil cover your shoulders. Dont alter the dress for bigger straps or add something to it. You took it into consideration to now have a strapless dress (for example). 


    Post # 6
    805 posts
    Busy bee

    It’s so pretty as it is, it would be a shame to alter it in a way that you don’t want. You dress yourself every day, so I think you should be able to decide how to dress yourself on your wedding day without people taking offense! I do actually think a small ostrich feather bolero could look quite pretty with it, but maybe not so suitable for a summer wedding.

    Post # 7
    237 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    What a beautiful dress!

    I have no idea if this will make any sense:  Could you use a piece of fabric from your alterations and snap it under your dress around back and into the inside front of your dress — just past your shoulders and removable?  I have no idea if people actually do this, but it could look like it’s part of your dress and your arms & neckline would look the same.

    I do think you currently would qualify as having bare shoulders. if that’s what you’re trying to avoid.

    Post # 8
    10453 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    If you love your dress as is, don’t change it! Someone else’s opinions will never be as important as your own.

    Post # 10
    153 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    @turningpersian your dress is beautiful and looks perfect on you, I feel that the straps cover your shoulders enough they are a good thickness, I personally do not think you need anything though I really like what Happiness IsInDaises said about bringing your veil onto your shoulders to cover them, I think that would look beautiful with the straps and neckline on your dress 🙂

    Post # 11
    622 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Well Dear your shoulders look covered to me 

    I agree allow the veil to give you more coverage but it looks very modest in nature as is



    Post # 12
    1094 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I think  your shoulders are totally covered! Adding anything would totally take away the beautiful nature of that dress.

    Post # 13
    9139 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @turningpersian:  If you’re being married in a synagogue, clear it with the rabbi.  If the rabbi is cool, then the parents should be fine.

    Post # 14
    1157 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014


    “I think they just assumed I didn’t think the dress counted as covered shoulders, the same way I assumed they thought it did.”

    Have you explained this to them??  I think that it may be just as you stated.  If so then maybe everyone could agree that technically your shoulders are covered.  I think that just having a discussion on a misunderstanding may solve this problem??

    I would hate to see you add anything to the shoulder area.  The dress is beautiful, and quite modest as it is.  I think to widen the straps or wearing a bolero or shrug would take away from how beautiful the dress is.

    Post # 16
    1181 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Don’t late the dress, but maybe wear a bolero? ( I don’t really know how that would look with your dress, but you could try)

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