(Closed) dress code

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I honestly don’t know. As a guest, I wouldn’t want to be told what to wear and would feel put-out to dress to be a part of a theme and spend extra money on clothing. If it were for a black-tie or casual wedding/reception, then it’d be no big deal, but otherwise…I don’t know. I’m sorry – I’m no help! Just putting my two-cents in.

Post # 4
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It’s not tacky, but it is rude.  You can’t dictate what your guests wear.

Post # 6
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Okay, then I change my answer a little 🙂  If you’re friends would enjoy it, then maybe use word of mouth to say you think it’d be fun?  I don’t think you can put it on your website, and I think you’d need to make it clear that it’s not a requirement.  But if you mentioned to some close friends in passing that you think it’d be fun then that’s probably okay.

Post # 7
Member
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I would word it along the lines that it’s enouraged and appreciated if one dresses in these colors, but not required. I had a friend dicate what colors *not* to wear to her wedding because she didn’t want anyone wearing her wedding colors and so many people were annoyed.

Post # 8
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I don’t think it’s necessarily tacky or rude IF it is worded correctly. It sounds like you’d just be telling guests to don festive, themed attire if they care to wear it, right? Not DICTATING what they must or must not wear – or even SHOULD or should not wear. What you probably don’t want is people coming dressed as pirates and sailors to go with your nautical theme. (Or maybe you do. That photobooth looks fun!) 

“Want to hop on the boat with us? Feel free to cruise in with your favorite red, white and blue attire if you like!”

It’s no different than saying you’re having a roaring 20s wedding and telling the ladies they can jazz it up in their favorite flapper dresses if they want to. Themes can be fun but the important thing is to make absolutely, positively certain that your wording is CLEAR about it being optional and really just for fun, not for fuss.

(NOTE: Does this particular combo encourage people wearing white at your wedding? Is that an issue for you?)

Post # 10
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@kafir:  Oh, feel free! I made that up just for you.

Post # 11
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@sweetcrackers:  Totally.

OP, I love the idea. Sounds like it’ll be a fun wedding.

Post # 12
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Unless it is a black tie event, or your venue has a dress code (i.e. a private club that requires men to wear jackets) it is inappropriate to tell adults how to dress.

Post # 13
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I would phrase it something like:

We are having a nautical themed wedding and encourage guests to dress accordingly, but please do not feel restricted by our theme.

 

Post # 15
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I usually have a couple of wedding-appropriate dresses in my closet.  (Yes, this includes a couple of dresses for formal evening receptions.)  I’d be annoyed if someone tried to dictate a dress color because if one of my pre-existing dresses didn’t match I would feel pressure to go shopping.  And I positively HATE shopping and have a hard time finding time to do it.

Post # 16
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

The OP isn’t dictating a dress code. She’s inviting guests to dress to the theme IF THEY CHOOSE, and wants wording to make it clear that they are not being told that they MUST dress in a certain color or style.

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