(Closed) Dress Code Breakdown

posted 4 years ago in Guests
Post # 2
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee

I would just say cocktail attire. 

Post # 3
Member
4776 posts
Honey bee

The only time it is within proper etiquette to mention attire is black tie.  

Adults know how to dress themselves.  They do it all the time.  They will understand the formality of the event based on the location, time of day, formality level of your invitations, etc.

At most, if you have a wedding website, you may want to mention that portions of your wedding will be outdoors (mention if on grass) so that women can avoid heels if they wish and people can prepare for the weather.

Post # 4
Member
876 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Unless the venue actually has a dress code, I wouldn’t include one. I pretty much have designated outfits for weddings depending on the venue type and would be annoyed at a dress code other than black tie. I also mainly wear jewel toned clothing and would be stressing out trying to figure out something fun and colorful to wear. 

Post # 5
Member
30393 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
sadieblue :  You can use whatever “creative” dress code you want, but be prepared for the backlash. Other than “Black Tie” , it is not good etiquette to include any dress code on an invitation. “Black Tie” is only acceptable because it conveys a lot of information other than the appropriate dress. It tells the guest about valet parking, open bar, live band, top shelf liquor etc.

It is considered very rude to tell your guests how to dress. It assumes that, without your instructions, they would not know how to appropriately garb themselves.

Your guests are full capable of deciding the appropriate dress by taking directions from the style of invitation , the venue, the time of day etc.

You can include a little more information on your website, such as suggesting your guests choose appropriate footwear if the surface is lawn or gravel.

Post # 6
Member
515 posts
Busy bee

I disagree. I go to lots of events and weddings that have dress codes that aren’t black tie. We said dress code – formal. Then again our invitations and venues scream formal.

Post # 7
Member
8409 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
sadieblue :  Your wedding sounds fun! I agree with the others: not necessary and not polite to assign a dress code. “Above all I want people to feel good about what they are wearing and enjoy themselves.” — this is the perfect attitude, and the best way to encourage people to feel good is to trust them to choose what makes them feel good, rather than make them worry about conforming to a vague instruction that’s open to interpretation.

Post # 9
Member
7865 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

I think the location will tell your guests all they need to know about how to dress. Trust that people will figure it out that they can be creative without being told. In my experience, specifying any sort of dress code – especially one that it open to interpretation – only confuses people and makes them second-guess what they otherwise would have worn.

Post # 10
Member
876 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

If the bees think it’s rude, don’t you think it’s possible some of your guests will find it rude as well. We were just letting you know you could potentially offend some of your guests. Personally if I was told to dress “colorful semi formal”, I would feel less like a guest and more like a photo prop. But if you’re fine with some of your guests feeling that way because it’s your day, feel free to put it on the invitation. 

Post # 11
Member
34 posts
Newbee

In terms of ettiquette, it is bad form to mention anything about a dress code on an invitation unless it is black tie. 

Post # 13
Member
8601 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Don’t say anything on the invite for sure. If people have questions they will ask you, and then just tell them it’s cocktail attire. I would however put info about the setting on the website, I did that at my botanical garden wedding, and warn people in person that it was a garden party and they’ll be walking on grass and gravel, so stilletos would be impractical. 

People will know what to wear based on the venue, time, and “tone” of the invite. If they don’t know they’ll ask you or your family. 

Post # 14
Member
30393 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
sadieblue :  The thing is, it doesn’t matter what you or I think. Neither of us are recognized experts in etiquette. Those of us who are cautioning you against using a dress code, are merely passing on  standard etiquette.

Assigning a dress code is treating your guests like they are too stupid to pick an outfit without your direction, whether you agree with it or  not.

If you don’t agree with us, do what you want. Your guests may not complain to you, but rest assured that doesn’t mean that they won’t be complaining among themselves.

Post # 15
Member
702 posts
Busy bee

I do not think it’s rude unless it’s super specific like all guests must wear pink or something, I find black tie,formal, semi formal etc. Very useful when dressing for a wedding as the last thing I want is to turn up in a dress and heels when actually I should have gathered from the invite (somehow??) that I should have worn shorts and flip flops!! 

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