Post # 1
Curious what you other bees think about the idea of making a wedding website page with FAQ’s and resource links for guests in regard to your wedding’s dress code?
I’m having a “black tie” outdoor garden wedding. Which I expect to cause plenty of questions. I was considering adding a page to our site which could have some links to definitions of “black tie” or articles in reference of what to wear to this type of wedding, & the anticipated weather, ground conditions, and also some links to places guests could rent an outfit from if they needed (and maybe some kind of coupon code if I can negotiate one with a few places)
Would this be helpful? Or just make me come off super Bridezilla… Has anyone done something similar? Or if you had a black tie wedding…how did you deal with the dress questions?
Post # 3
My wedding isn’t black tie, but the church we’re getting married in has a dress code, so I’m putting it on our website :] I personally don’t see anything wrong with that.
Post # 4
I think if it is a suggestion on your website, then it is totally okay. But I also woudn’t be too disappointed if people don’t show up in tuxes and formal gowns for an outside wedding, in August. I do think having weather and such is a good plan to because Out of Town guests may not be sure.
Post # 5
Ours was black tie requested and we did mention as much on our website. Luckily, we have family connections to a big tux rental shop in the city and were generously offered a discount for our guests when they quoted our name. That’s how we sugar coated that dung bomb. Didn’t provide any other info for guests, that sounds helpful though. We knew the shop would just take care of ours.
Post # 6
We’re also doing an FAQ tab, mostly because I wish all weddings had them. I cannot tell you how many wedding invites I’ve gotten and been unsure of the dress code and/or had additional questions. We’re not sure if we are going to call the tab “FAQ” or “Other Info” or someting else. We’re still working on questions, but here’s what we have so far (we’re getting married on a yacht and FI’s family is all over 6’2″):
- Will I get seasick?
- Will I fit on the yacht?
- What should I wear?
- Will you verbally assault me if I use pirate jargon before, during, or after the reception?
Post # 7
I think that you should note “Black Tie” or “Black Tie Optional” on your invitation because eventhough the evening time would normally indicate that it’s formal, the outdoor setting makes it unusual. Hopefully the location on the invitation also indicates that it is out of doors.
As for the website, although I typically wish that people would be more upfront about the dress, I think that it’s ok to also put the dress code on the website under a FAQ section, but I wouldn’t go as far as to describe what you want them to wear. In text it could come across as if you are demanding that they wear x,y,z rather than a suggestion/ request.
Now I am rethinking my own wedding. I sort of want a black tie wedding, but I figured that since the ceremony is outside, it starts just before six o’ clock, and since no one in my family has had a black tie wedding that it should be a little less formal — although the groom and groomsmen are wearing blacktie and the bridesmaids are wearing long dresses.
Post # 8
I have a hard time trusting the whole “people will know it’s formal because it’s evening” thing… I’ve been to 4 weddings so far, and they were all in the evening, and only 1 of them everyone was cohesively dressed formally – and perhaps because it was 2 wealthy families. The other 3 more “middle class” weddings I went to I felt that a good number of people were seriously underdressed. Not like blue jeans underdressed…but just like “church dress” or “work dress”.
Maybe I’m being picky…but if a guest opts for a short dress or a shirt and top… and then also opts for it to be jersey cotton… and printed… I don’t feel like it’s formal anymore at all. I’m not sure people know evening weddings are formal… or even what qualifies as formal dress. I’m not sure they know they don’t know. I mean, I certainly didn’t know a lot of the specifics until I started reading about wedding stuff. I’m relieved to know I haven’t committed any faux pas…but I tend to err on the side of over-dressing anyway… most people I know are the opposite.
Post # 9
I would agree with you. As a guest, I always appreciate being given as much information as possible. I grew up with the old definitions of formal, semi-formal, etc. which means that my definition of formal is white tie for evening and morning dress for daytime events, while semi-formal is black tie (dinner jacket and stroller respectively). In my social circle, I know that formal requires a long, full-skirted ball gown and opera gloves for me, and a tailcoat with white marcella shirt, waistcoat and bow tie for my husband, while an evening dress and dinner jacket will suffice for semi-formal. However, most people haven’t a clue when it comes to traditional definitions, and do not realise their blissful ignorance.
I believe that guests play an important part in any event, and if the guests do not dress appropriately the atmosphere is compromised. I have personally experienced people who were refused entry or were asked to leave because they were not properly dressed. It is embarrassing for all involved and entirely avoidable, of course.
As you live in California, which I understand to be extremely casual in dress and attitude, I too would err on the side of caution and provide as much detail as you can. Also, there is nothing wrong with printing black or white tie on your invitations.
Post # 10
You definetly need to put the info on the website because it soudns like your expecting a lot more than what most people would even think of. I think its simple for men to understand blacktie but women its a little different. Are you requiring that your female guests be dressed in ball gowns youll need to be very clear about that.
Post # 11
I think you should put “formal recpetion” or “black tie” on your invitation, as well as your wedding website, however IMO, links to definitions, and telling people to rent from a certain location, or telling people you need to wear….. comes across as bride-zilla….
But I do agree that you should say it is formal/ black tie/ etc… how ever you wish to word it, because traditionally, an outdoor wedding is garden attire, which is semi-formal… at best… usually more “brunch” attire.
If people need help finding somwhere to rent formal clothing from, they can ask you, or a family member, or do a simple google search.
I also think it’s important to state the weather … etc… b/c it IS an outdoor wedding, and even in August it can get COLD in the evening.