(Closed) Dress Colors: Am I Being Unreasonable?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

She agreed to stick to the “light pink” shade so it’s not unreasonable to expect her to follow through with that. I think you should gently and nicely remind her of that.

Post # 4
Member
2499 posts
Buzzing bee

@licoricetea3:  It sounds like $80-150 is out of her budget. Can you try to help her find something below that? I don’t think you’re being unreasonable by asking her to stick to a particular color, but I think you should try to be a little more understanding of her situation. Could you offer to offset the cost of the dress as a compromise?

Post # 5
Member
45659 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@licoricetea3:  Given that it is likely customary where you live for the BM’s to pay for their own dresses, i don’t think you are being “bridezilla-ish” at all.

You have given her free reign to but a knee length, sleeveless dress in a specified color.

If she needs help:

she could remove the sleeves from this dress- there is plenty of material in the sleeves to make a facing for the armhole

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0071446PS/ref=asc_df_B0071446PS2538529?smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&linkCode=asn&creative=395093&creativeASIN=B0071446PS&tag=wwwshopstylec-20&ascsubtag=712012231

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00AXZUY7Q/ref=asc_df_B00AXZUY7Q2534202?smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER&linkCode=asn&creative=395093&creativeASIN=B00AXZUY7Q&tag=wwwshopstylec-20&ascsubtag=712013778

http://compare.ebay.com/like/400303704174?var=lv&ltyp=AllFixedPriceItemTypes&var=sbar&_lwgsi=y&cbt=y

http://www.etsy.com/listing/118945059/summer-ruffle-neck-dress-soft-pink?utm_source=google&utm_medium=product_listing_promoted&utm_campaign=clothing_low

I’m sure you can find many more at all price points.

Post # 6
Member
346 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I usually side with bridesmaids here, but in this case, you’ve given her a pretty good amount of latitude with colors, and on top of that, you’re amenable to her looking elsewhere than DB, and you’re responding to all her photos. I’d say you’re being very flexible.

If I were you, and I had the money, I’d say something to her like: “Hey, you’re finding some awesome dresses but they aren’t in the four colors that everyone will be wearing, and I really want to stick to those colors. I know you’re trying to keep the price down, so maybe we can split the cost on a dress in one of those colors? Because it’s really important to me that everyone wears a gown in one of those shades!”

If you can’t afford to help, it gets trickier, but do you live near her? Because if so, you can set aside a day to go shopping with her for a dress in the color you want, and that would be simpler and probably feel less frustrating than having to reply in the negative, one by one, to all of these photos she’s sending.

If you can’t afford to help AND you can’t go shopping with her, I’d just be blunt: “I adore you and I cannot wait to have you in my wedding, but please please help me out by sticking to one of the four colors!” Scour the internet for cheaper possibilities for her — I’m sure they’re out there!

 

Post # 7
Member
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@licoricetea3:  I don’t think you’re being unreasonable – it looks like you’ve given them a lot of choices, which is awesome!  Most brides don’t do that.  I would say something the next time she shows you a dress – like, “oh that’s cute! does it come in light pink?” Or maybe amp up your own searching for a cheaper light pink dress.  Try the recycled bride or once wed classifieds for some light pink dresses!

Also, I was in a wedding 2 years ago where the dress wasn’t specifically materninty, but the material and draping allowed the MOH -who was 7 months pregnant- wear it and look totally gorgeous!

Post # 8
Member
364 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@calendula:  I second everything you said. Very good advice!

Post # 10
Member
8701 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

Can you pay for the dress or share the cost with her if you really want certain colors and for her to be in the wedding? I had an issue with my MOH so I just paid for her dress. My other 5 bridesmaids were fine.

Post # 12
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@licoricetea3:  I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all! Actually, I love how you handled it! Allows for coordination (SO important in pulling off mismatched dresses!) but allows your girls a LOT of freedom in their choice! It’s perfect.

 

What about preowned sites? Check the classifieds here, or preownedweddingdresses.com

Here’s a size 4 empire waist (flattering for ladies who are expecting, IMO) DB dress in Petal Pink on preownedweddingdresses for $49.

They also have three cute DB dresses in Watermelon (same dress, sizes 4, 8, and 10) for $55 if it was possible for her to trade colors with a girl who had chosen watermelon?

 

I hope you can find a solution, because I agree the dresses have to at least be in the color scheme. 🙁

 

I hope it works out!!

Post # 13
Member
1773 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

There are a few reasons I think this will be difficult for your bridesmaids.  Usually, if you’re doing a really specific color but mismatched dresses, the bride needs to either (1) pick a very clear color like black, or (2) be fine with a lot of different shades/tones (like anything from light grey to charcoal, or anytihng orangey pinky no matter how light or dark), OR (3) if the bride wants a very specific shade (as you do), then usually all the dresses need to be from one store (brides do this w/ j. crew often) or be actual bridesmaid dresses.  

Option 3 is the least flexible and lenient on the bride’s part- it’s fine if the bride or bridesmaids can afford it, but it sounds like yours can’t.  Option 3 is the only one that really works if you want the girls to differentiate between coral, apricot, watermelon, and light pink (because I’m pretty good w/colors and I’m not 100% sure of the difference between some of the colors you named).  

but Option 3 is pricier, so if there’s a max that the girls can spend, you can’t supplement it, and you and your bridesmaids can’t find j. crew dresses or bridesmaid dresses way on sale to fit within that budget, you might need to reassess and decide if having these 4 ultra-specific shades is really worth it or if it’s actually okay and will look great if you do option #2 and give the girls more general guidelines- like anything in the general fit/style you want that is in the coral/salmon/apricot/peach family (so that pinky orange range).

Post # 15
Member
1773 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@licoricetea3:  Yes, once I saw you offered to pay for part, that made sense and you’re doing the best you can.  I hope it works out.

Post # 17
Member
1495 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@licoricetea3:  I think this is a very generous option and hopefully will work out well!  And for the record, I didn’t think you were being too bridezilla-ish at all!  

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