(Closed) Dress Dilemma

posted 10 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

A dress doesn’t need to be interesting on its own, it needs to be interesting on YOU! Ever tried on something that looked ugly on the hanger, but when you had it on, it was fabulous? Or vice versa? An attenuated version of this sounds like it’s happening to you:

The Lazaro dress is gorgeous on the hanger, but when you put it on it sounds like you feel a little overpowered (like everyone will be looking at the dress and not the person wearing it–you certainly don’t want that!).

Conversely the Birnbaum and Bullock dress is not as jaw-dropping on the hanger, but when you put it on you describe it as being fun, comfortable, very flattering, and appropriate to your ceremony venue, place, and time. You did not use those words to describe wearing the Lazaro dress–just that it looks good on.

Sounds to me like you’re well on the way to already having made this decision yourself. Good luck—and know that no matter what choice you make you’re going to be a beautiful bride.

Post # 4
Member
67 posts
Worker bee

It’s hard to say without photos . Which one feels right to you? I think it’s important for a gown to reflect the bride’s personal style, her figure, and the setting for the wedding/reception. It sounds like neither the Lazaro nor the Birnbaum and Bullock meet all the criteria for you. Not knowing much about the sillhouettes and your taste, it’s hard to make that call though.

Post # 5
Member
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

pqar,

I wanted gowns that would match the formality and vibe of the event in addition to the venue.

Don’t settle for the second dress unless you really love it. It sounds like you love the first one more so go for it. 

Post # 6
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I tried on less than a dozen dresses total.  I wanted my dress to match the level of formality of our ceremony and venue (we are not having a big church wedding) and I wanted it to be something I would be comfortable wearing for 6+ hours – photos, ceremony, reception – as I do intend to wear it all evening, and to enjoy it! 

I knew that I had found my dress when I put it on – it was everything I wanted.  I did try on one other dress that was just gorgeous; lots of lace and beads – and if we were having a much more elegant evening I would have been really tempted to get it.  It did meet my wearability criteria as well.  But it was really just a lot fancier than I wanted.  I’ve gone back and looked at photos of that dress several times, but my dress came in two weeks ago and I couldn’t love it more.  It isn’t as fancy, but it’s absolutely me, and looks fantastic on, and completely fits with the style of our event.

Post # 7
Member
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Yes, photos would make this easier.  Do you have pictures of you in the dresses, or at least have the style names of them?  If just the latter, what is your body type?  You described the weather-is it outside or inside?  Is the venue formal or informal?

These aren’t just questions that will help us form an opinion, but all questions that a person picking out a wedding dress must consider.

Post # 8
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Photos would for sure make this easier. 

I know I picked my dress based on my church.  My church has a very long aisle so I really wanted a long train.  The original dress I feel in love with couldn’t have fabric added to make the train longer and the designer wouldn’t make the skirt fuller…basically they wouldn’t work with me at all.  So, I found a second dress that I also liked.  I’m not gonna lie, I keep thinking about that first dress, but honestly didn’t pick it because I didn’t feel like it was grand enough for a church as formal as mine.  I still don’t even know if I made the right decision, so I really feel your pain.  I, too, tried about as many dresses on as you and wondered how many it took before you knew if you found the right one.

Post # 10
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Your site looks like it could be as formal as you wnat it to be and since it’s an evening wedding, I don’t think you need to worry about the Lazaro dress being to much. 

"Here’s the dilemma: the first dress is (for me) the most beautiful dress that I’ve ever seen (and it looks good on), but you end up looking more at the dress than at the person wearing it.  The second dress is more fun, more comfortable and would probably be more appropriate for our outdoor summer evening ceremony in the Texas heat. It’s very flattering, but not as interesting on its own."

Sounds like you love the way you look and feel in the first dress.  I’d go with that, instead of trying to be "practical" or "appropriate"  Neither of those should be priorities on your wedding day, especially when it comes to your dress!  🙂   I’ve seen pictures of plenty of weddings, where the bride is barefoot on the beach, but in a full gown.  This is the one occasion that you get to wear whatever you want, no matter what. 

Good luck! 

Post # 11
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2008

My opinion is go for the dress that makes you happiest!  You are much more important than the venue or whatever other concerns you have.  A question to ask yourself: If you don’t get the Lazaro, are you going to regret it?  This is your one chance to get what you love as far as wedding dresses go…so go for the one you love.  I also would not be concerned about that dress taking attention away from the wearer.  People will be looking at how happy you are! 

Post # 12
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Love the 1st dress!!!  NY Times recently ran an article about how weddings aren’t about a bride and a groom, they are about a mother and a daughter.  It seems like you are swayed because your mother didn’t tear up and call the dress "the one" like you’d (understandably) hoped.  Was it the first time you went dress shopping with your mom?  The first time I went with my mom, I ended up in tears when we got home.  We chatted, and we realized we were both so nervous.  "Shopping for your wedding gown with your mother" has been idealized in the western culture, and that was a lot of pressure for both of us.  Once we talked about it, and admitted we may not have a teary, breathless, "it’s the one" moment, it relieved the pressure.  We also brought chocolates and champagne to every dress shopping/fitting since!  In the end, relieving the pressure was exactly what we needed, and we ended up having a teary, breathless, "it’s the one!" moment after all.  So, my advice is have a nice chat with your mom about the pressure of dress shopping, how much you love the first dress, and how you want to go try it on with her again.  Then grab a box of chocolates, a bottle of champage, two ikea flutes (if they break, you’re not sad), and napkins – and go try on the first dress – and then buy your first dress.  Congrats!!

Post # 13
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I always do this – I didn’t answer your question.  My mom and I went to 5 bridal boutiques – on 5 separate days.  Each appointment was around 90 minutes, and I never tried on more than 10 dresses (usually closer to 7).  We never went to more than one bridal boutique in a day (too exhausting).  We did all of this in two weeks – so I probably tried on 40-50 dresses.  I chose the first dress at the second store (but remember, the first store was a bad experience because my mom and I hadn’t relieved ourselves of the pressure to have a "perfect dress shopping moment."

Primary considerations – how it looked on me.  I did care that it "matched the venue" – but that came naturally.  Since I wasn’t inclined to choose a ballroom as a venue, I wasn’t inclined to choose a ballgown… I think your venue and first dress go together very, very, nicely.   

Post # 14
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Go with the dress you love best.  Looks like you have some leeway with your venue and you could have a more or less fancy dress and still not seem out of place (i.e. a super fancy beaded full ball gown at a backyard bbq reception). 

I only went to one boutique and ended up purchasing the first dress I tried on!  I tried on about 11 dresses total, but that was the one.  I went back a few days later with a friend to confirm and order.  It was not at all what I expected to get, but made me feel like a bride. There were a couple of runner ups, but this one won out.  It was actually the faciest dress in the store!  *sigh*  Ultimately, you’re the one in the dress – opt for the one you feel best in. 

Post # 15
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2001

Definitely go with the dress that makes you feel spectacular and that you love most. You don’t want to have regrets and it’s really the one day in your life when you get to wear a gown that makes you feel your most beautiful- go all out!

Post # 16
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

FIrst of all, you say you love the first dress the best…so that should be the most important thing.  Besides that, it’s beautiful!  After looking at your venue, I think it will still work there. 

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